# How would you die? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 29, 2004, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082 "2004-11-29T03:03:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/21 "2004-11-29T06:13:57Z")
I would go with being burned alive, under the following conditions: 1. It would have to be spontaneous combustion; 2. It would have to be in a busy public place; 3. I would want to have something witty ready to say while burning to make everyone laugh, and; 4. It would have to be painless. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/22 "2004-11-29T07:28:59Z")
This reminds me of an old Three Stooges line: (Moe): How do you want to die? Burned at the stake or have your head cut off? (Curley): I’ll take “burned at the stake”! (Moe): Why? (Curley): Because a HOT STEAK is better than a cold chop! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/23 "2004-11-29T09:15:13Z")
**Frank:** A good cop - needlessly cut down by some cowardly hoodlums. **Ed:** No way for a man to die. **Frank:** You’re right, Ed. A parachute not opening - that’s the way to die, getting caught in the gears of a combine, having your nuts bit off by a Laplander. That’s the way I want to go. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/24 "2004-11-29T10:53:32Z")
I wanna just spontaneously explode in public… perhaps in a mall. No one else would be injured, but everyone within a block or so radius would be splattered with goo. I bet I would be remembered! 🙂 “Remember that guy who exploded in the mall?” “HELL yeah! Took me forever to shampoo his spleen out of my hair!” Immortality! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/25 "2004-11-29T11:05:47Z")
Isn’t this more of a poll, for IMHO? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/26 "2004-11-29T13:29:25Z")
I want to to die the ultimate guy’s death: 105 years old, shot to death in bed by a jealous husband… ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/27 "2004-11-29T15:46:57Z")
The following text describes “wet” drownings, accounting for 88-90% of all medically documented (autopsied) drownings. Inhalation of water: As a swimming or submergence scenario progresses to an actual drowning, a specific series of events takes place. Following submergence of the face in water, an attempt at breath holding (apnea) is the first line of defence against water’s entrance into the lungs. As this phase progresses, a panicky struggle quickly develops. As the body’s energy reserves (chiefly oxygen) are expended, a sequence of events occurs which will culminate in clinical death unless interrupted. This chain of events is as follows: 1. Voluntary/involuntary breath holding until the concentration of carbon dioxide in the blood reaches a level where stimulation of the respiratory center in the brain takes command. 2. A small amount of water (5-20 cc) is inhaled into the trachea. 3. An involuntary coughing reflex follows. This is a natural reaction designed to expel foreign material entering the trachea. Each forceful cough expels some of the air in the lungs. 4. A greater quantity of water is inhaled into the trachea, and eventually into the lungs, with each attempt to expel the water present. This cycle may be interrupted by a bronchial spasm in which the epiglottis closes forcefully, forbidding further entry of water. This spasm may continue on past the loss of consciousness to the point of clinical death. 5. The increased coughing reflex, combined with water entering the bronchiole tubes, may trigger a vomiting reflex wherein the stomach contents are first expelled, then aspirated into the lungs. As more and more air is expelled from the lungs, buoyancy of the body is lost and the next phase follows. 6. Profound unconsciousness due to anoxia develops. Convulsions usually follow with more vomiting and deep agonal gasping. This unconscious gasping reflex may be so profound that water and bottom debris, along with vomitus, are drawn deep into the lungs and back down into the stomach. Respiratory standstill follows quickly! 7. Because the lungs are now flooded with water (either salt or fresh water), the blood which is circulating within the lungs undergoes a radical change in its chemical balance. Cardiac arrhythmias leading to ventricular tachycardia and fibrillation ultimately precede clinical death. 8. Within two minutes following the “agonal gasp” phase (in fresh-water drownings), sufficient water is absorbed directly into the bloodstream to account for nearly fifty percent of circulating blood volume! This chain of events may be altered by an antemortem struggle. The greater the struggle, the shorter the cycle. ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/28 "2004-11-29T15:51:10Z")
Apologies to **Aesiron**. I posted the drowning synopsis before I noticed you had a near-drowning event. I did not mean to cause you any distress. ---
**Author:** ![RACHXXX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e99b99/32.png) [@RACHXXX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RACHXXX)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/29 "2004-11-29T15:53:59Z")
> [@Fuji Kitakyusho](#): > > The following text describes “wet” drownings, accounting for 88-90% of all medically documented (autopsied) drownings. > > Inhalation of water: > > As a swimming or submergence scenario progresses to an actual drowning, a specific series of events takes place. Following submergence of the face in water, an attempt at breath holding (apnea) is the first line of defence against water’s entrance into the lungs. As this phase progresses, a panicky struggle quickly develops. As the body’s energy reserves (chiefly oxygen) are expended, a sequence of events occurs which will culminate in clinical death unless interrupted. This chain of events is as follows: > > 1. Voluntary/involuntary breath holding until the concentration of carbon dioxide in the blood reaches a level where stimulation of the respiratory center in the brain takes command. > > 2. A small amount of water (5-20 cc) is inhaled into the trachea. > > 3. An involuntary coughing reflex follows. This is a natural reaction designed to expel foreign material entering the trachea. Each forceful cough expels some of the air in the lungs. > > 4. A greater quantity of water is inhaled into the trachea, and eventually into the lungs, with each attempt to expel the water present. This cycle may be interrupted by a bronchial spasm in which the epiglottis closes forcefully, forbidding further entry of water. This spasm may continue on past the loss of consciousness to the point of clinical death. > > 5. The increased coughing reflex, combined with water entering the bronchiole tubes, may trigger a vomiting reflex wherein the stomach contents are first expelled, then aspirated into the lungs. As more and more air is expelled from the lungs, buoyancy of the body is lost and the next phase follows. > > 6. Profound unconsciousness due to anoxia develops. Convulsions usually follow with more vomiting and deep agonal gasping. This unconscious gasping reflex may be so profound that water and bottom debris, along with vomitus, are drawn deep into the lungs and back down into the stomach. Respiratory standstill follows quickly! > > 7. Because the lungs are now flooded with water (either salt or fresh water), the blood which is circulating within the lungs undergoes a radical change in its chemical balance. Cardiac arrhythmias leading to ventricular tachycardia and fibrillation ultimately precede clinical death. > > 8. Within two minutes following the “agonal gasp” phase (in fresh-water drownings), sufficient water is absorbed directly into the bloodstream to account for nearly fifty percent of circulating blood volume! This chain of events may be altered by an antemortem struggle. The greater the struggle, the shorter the cycle. erm… or not!!! how about i just choose to die in my sleep after having had sex and with a fag on the go!!! yeah that sounds like a good way to die!!! jesus you lot are so morbid!!! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/30 "2004-11-29T15:56:54Z")
:eek: I’ve read those before, Fuji, and I can never breathe when doing so. Yikes. Do you have a cite for where you got that? Nothing personal, it just wouldn’t be right for me to pass it around without double checking :). ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/31 "2004-11-29T16:06:58Z")
The description is an excerpt from “Encyclopedia of Underwater Investigations”, by Cpl. Robert G. (Bob) Teather. While I did not obtain specific permission to use it here, I know Bob and am sure he would not object to its use in this context. ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/32 "2004-11-29T21:05:31Z")
Ok, we got the detailed description of drowining. Anyone have one for being burned alive so we can make an informed decision? My guess is they’re both about equal in terms of pain and suffering. So I’ll flip a coin if the choice ever needs to be made. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/33 "2004-11-30T01:58:47Z")
> [@Fuji Kitakyusho](#): > > Apologies to **Aesiron**. I posted the drowning synopsis before I noticed you had a near-drowning event. I did not mean to cause you any distress. No need. I found it very interesting, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/34 "2004-11-30T02:10:49Z")
Lately, I’ve been on this kick where I’ve been obsessed with reading true life survival tales, and true life not-so-much survival tales. One of the more interesting things I’ve read lately is the “mammalian diving reflex.” When mammals put their faces in cold water, the body goes into super energy saving mode. **Bradycardia,** a reduction in the heart rate of up to 50% in humans. **Peripheral vasoconstriction** , the restriction of the blood flow to the extremities to increase the blood and oxygen supply to the vital organs, \*\*especially the brain. Blood shift,\*\* the shifting of blood to the thoracic cavity, i.e. the chest between the diaphragm and the neck to avoid the collapse of the lungs under higher pressure during deeper dives. Thus both a conscious and an unconscious person can survive longer without oxygen under water than in a comparable situation on dry land. cite - [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mammalian_diving_reflex) For some reason, I just found it fascinating! ---
**Author:** ![billybobjoebob13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a698b9/32.png) [@billybobjoebob13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billybobjoebob13)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/35 "2004-11-30T02:17:41Z")
And the current standings: **Drown: 6 Burn: 5** ---
**Author:** ![Gotterfunken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@Gotterfunken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotterfunken)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/36 "2004-11-30T02:22:55Z")
The Master’s column about drowning, [Do you “go down three times” before drowning?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_211.html), includes the following nuggets: > [@](#): > > In a freshwater drowning, the inhaled water is quickly absorbed out of the lungs and into the bloodstream. > > Unfortunately, the water washes away the wetting agent (the surfactant) in the lung air sacs (the alveoli) that helps keeps the sacs inflated. As a consequence, the air sacs collapse, oxygen can’t get into the bloodstream, and the victim expires. > > In a saltwater drowning, on the other hand, the inhaled salt water draws blood plasma out of the bloodstream and into the lungs. The subsequent fluid buildup in the air sacs prevents oxygen from reaching the blood, resulting in death. > > In other words, in salt water you basically drown in your own juices. (Other things besides lack of oxygen contribute to drowning, but they’re generally of secondary importance.) > > … > > In short, if you’re going to get in trouble in the water, have the sense to do it in the fresh stuff, not the ocean. Based on Cecil’s discussion, and on the fact that salt water feels like it’s burning my lungs on the occasions I’ve swallowed some by accident, I have to say it a salt water drowning would be quite painful. On the other hand, from what many drowning survivors say, the moment as you slip from consciousness into unconsciousness is strangely peaceful–though you only reach this stage after enduring great pain and panic. With the burning death, it may not be too bad if you suffocate on the smoke–in that case, you may not actually feel the actual flames on your skin (which would probably be unbelievably painful), and a death by suffocation would be quite a bit more peaceful. However, I don’t like heat very much, and just the idea of being surrounded by fire disturbs me. So I’ll take the drowning death, preferably in fresh water. ---
**Author:** ![Gotterfunken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@Gotterfunken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotterfunken)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/37 "2004-11-30T02:31:55Z")
[Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burning_at_the_stake) has a lovely article about executions by burning: > [@](#): > > If the fire is large (for instance, when a large number of prisoners were executed at the same time) death often came from the carbon monoxide poisoning before flames actually caused harm to the body. However, if the fire is small, the convict burns for a few minutes in pain until death from heatstroke or loss of blood plasma. Typically, the executioner would arrange a pile of wood around the condemned’s feet and calves, with supplementary small bundles of sticks and straw called faggots at strategic intervals up his/her body. > > When applied with skillful cruelty, the victim’s skin would burn progressively in the sequence: calves, thighs and hands, torso and forearms, breasts, upper chest, face; and then finally death. On other occasions, people died from suffocation with only their calves in fire. In many burnings a rope was attached to the convict’s neck passing through a ring on the stake and they were simultaneously strangled and burned. Sounds charming. ---
**Author:** ![IGJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/igjoe/32/5420_2.png) [@IGJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IGJoe)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/38 "2004-11-30T03:05:57Z")
Chalk up another vote for drowning, if my only other choice is to burn to death. Interesting choice for your first thread, **billybobjoebob13**. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/39 "2004-11-30T03:23:27Z")
I fully intend to go in a blaze of glory. And I mean blaze: guns firing, shells dropping, artillery incoming, napalm burning, Commie pinkos dying, bayonets charging, Aahhhhnold "AAHHHHHHHHHH"ing . . . you get the idea. So, I’d be burned alive. Tripler Way better’n what Bon Jovi was talking about, too . . . ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082/40 "2004-11-30T05:38:09Z")
Why isn’t “Suffocated by naked female college cheerleaders” on the list? 😕 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-die/277082.md?page=3)