# How would you feel about this gym situation - one for men especially? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 20, 2013, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718 "2013-08-20T15:15:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/41 "2013-08-20T19:31:48Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > Toddlers have the attention span of a gnat. I’ve had the displeasure of doing shows where a toddler wandered over to the “wings” (outdoor, in-the-park style performance, so I was visible if you turned your head and looked behind the seats but we had the convention that I was “off-stage” and therefore “not seen”) and proceeded to loudly growl and screech at me while I was standing there You’re a stripper? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/42 "2013-08-20T19:35:56Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > You’re a stripper? > > Regards, > Shodan Seriously? When was the last time you saw a stripper in a PARK? That was a tasteless insult and completely, utterly uncalled for. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/43 "2013-08-20T19:37:18Z")
I was joking. Sorry. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/44 "2013-08-20T19:42:22Z")
The real question, how creepy looking was the guy that they felt the need to close the blinds? ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/45 "2013-08-20T19:42:49Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Can you cite this? I’m skeptical, but I could be wrong. I don’t know how to cite it right now, short of leaving work, taking some photos and linking to them, but all the parks in my neck of the woods (Brooklyn, NY) do indeed have signs banning adults without children from the more child-oriented sections of of the local public parks (not the whole park, just the playground-type areas). ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/46 "2013-08-20T19:44:53Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > I don’t get this whole “men are predators by default” thing. I am 38 and single. I go to a park with my dog all the time and kids are everywhere. They often come up to my dog and want to pet him, which I allow. Not once has a mom or dad ever once acted like I was some sicko trying to do something wrong. Most of the time I’ll chat with the kid and ask if he/she has a dog there too, etc. Maybe I’ve just been lucky. It’s because you have a dog; and apparently a friendly one. Anyone with a friendly dog is okay. Experiment: Try hanging out in the park some day, without your dog. See if it’s different. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/47 "2013-08-20T19:46:20Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > Seriously? When was the last time you saw a stripper in a PARK? That was a tasteless insult and completely, utterly uncalled for. :rolleyes: In a thread about over-reacting. Who’d’a thunk it? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/48 "2013-08-20T19:50:18Z")
> [@Saintly\_Loser](#): > > I don’t know how to cite it right now, short of leaving work, taking some photos and linking to them, but all the parks in my neck of the woods (Brooklyn, NY) do indeed have signs banning adults without children from the more child-oriented sections of of the local public parks (not the whole park, just the playground-type areas). That additional information makes the claim make a lot more sense; thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/49 "2013-08-20T19:50:51Z")
Meh. I woulda probably stopped licking the glass, zipped back up, and gotten back onto the bike… But that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/50 "2013-08-20T19:53:09Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > It’s because you have a dog; and apparently a friendly one. Anyone with a friendly dog is okay. > > Experiment: Try hanging out in the park some day, without your dog. See if it’s different. I would not feel the least bit self conscious if I took a book or something to this park and sat on a bench and read. Now if I went there and sat on a bench and stared at the kid’s playground, that would be creepy. And I wouldn’t be offended one bit if someone gave me the stink eye. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/51 "2013-08-20T19:59:52Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > :rolleyes: > > In a thread about over-reacting. Who’d’a thunk it? Calling someone out for a misogynistic insult – one completely unrelated to the topic at hand – is over-reacting? :rolleyes: right back at ya. It’s the equivalent of, say, delightedly accusing Senegoid of really being a pedophile, because if you torture his words enough you can not-really-but-who-cares twist them into that, and hur-hur funnies. But I’m over-reacting. Right. Last I checked, personal insults were not allowed anywhere but the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/52 "2013-08-20T20:07:35Z")
There’s a trivial detail we haven’t been told; so trivial that it’s unlikely to have been reported anywhere. Yet critically important to this narrative: Which side of the glass are those blinds on? The outside, hallway side? Or the inside, in the room with the treadmill or bike or whatever? It’s important to help assess one of the questions in this thread: Was the gym trying to the guy’s “privacy”, or trying to protect the kids’ and moms’ “privacy”? (From a default-presumed pedo?) If the blinds are on the _inside_, then it can’t be argued that the gym is trying to protect the guy from being watched by the kids. If he was bothered by that, he could darn well have closed the blinds himself. In this case, he might well assume that the gym is “protecting” the kids from a presumed leering creepo. OTOH, if the blinds are outside in the hall, we really can’t make any presumption either way about that. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/53 "2013-08-20T20:12:20Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > There’s a trivial detail we haven’t been told; so trivial that it’s unlikely to have been reported anywhere. Yet critically important to this narrative: > > Which side of the glass are those blinds on? The outside, hallway side? Or the inside, in the room with the treadmill or bike or whatever? > > It’s important to help assess one of the questions in this thread: Was the gym trying to the guy’s “privacy”, or trying to protect the kids’ and moms’ “privacy”? (From a default-presumed pedo?) > > If the blinds are on the _inside_, then it can’t be argued that the gym is trying to protect the guy from being watched by the kids. If he was bothered by that, he could darn well have closed the blinds himself. In this case, he might well assume that the gym is “protecting” the kids from a presumed leering creepo. OTOH, if the blinds are outside in the hall, we really can’t make any presumption either way about that. From what I can gather the blinds were on the inside, that is on the side where the exerciser was, as the staff member went from the hall to the gym to close the blinds. As I said upthread, PM me if you want a link to the letter sent to the paper. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/54 "2013-08-20T20:12:22Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > It’s the equivalent of, say, delightedly accusing Senegoid of really being a pedophile, because if you torture his words enough you can not-really-but-who-cares twist them into that, and hur-hur funnies. I’m a dogophile! 😃 Really. I don’t have a dog of my own to molest, so I hang out in dog parks and molest other people’s dogs. Publicly! And I haven’t been arrested yet. Not even once! I measure how good my day has been by counting how many dogs I meet. I had a twelve-dog day once! I hate parks or other places that have no-dogs rules. As far as I’m concerned, the more dogs there are around and the fewer people, the better. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/55 "2013-08-20T20:15:49Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > I would not feel the least bit self conscious if I took a book or something to this park and sat on a bench and read. Now if I went there and sat on a bench and stared at the kid’s playground, that would be creepy. And I wouldn’t be offended one bit if someone gave me the stink eye. Is it really that creepy? Because I rather enjoy watching kids play. They’re fun. I’m a woman so it probably wouldn’t matter if I parked my ass on a bench and enjoyed watching children play. I don’t have kids of my own and honestly, I’m curious about children. It’s like feeding the ducks or some other harmless outdoor activity. I feel like there’s an unspoken message here that says, ‘‘Men shouldn’t enjoy being around children.’’ Is it creepy to smile at babies, too? I might be more understanding of this nonsense if there were an epidemic of park molestations across the country, but there aren’t. It’s a rare thing that parents are overly paranoid about. Seems to me I should be able to sit down any damn place I want. _grumble_ ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/56 "2013-08-20T20:16:39Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > Although I still say that having adult-only activities like the chess boards inside the kids-only playground is an incredibly dumb move, and the city either needs to get over it and realize that adults playing chess likely don’t give a rat’s ass about your pwecious snowfwake and would just like to be left alone, thanks, or move the chess boards to another part of the park. Yeah, I think most NYers think this is a little much, too. The park system is huge so I can’t say I am an expert on EVERY PARK, but in the two playgrounds I personally go to that have the chess tables within the playground, it’s a scenario where the chess tables have been there forever, and the playground is (relatively) new/recently renovated and the chess tables unfortunately got gerrymandered in. Or rather, they should have been gerrymandered outside of the fence, but didn’t, for reasons that could be anything from “the designers were dumb” to “there wasn’t money in the budget to move them” or anything else. Plenty of parks have the chess boards out in the park-at-large, so this isn’t an issue in every park. Some parks have them in both places. I will also note that this is enforced very, very unevenly, in my experience as a parent who hangs around at a lot of NYC playgrounds. The “tone” of the playground/park varies a lot from park to park. Some of it is the local culture, some of it is the physical layout of the playground – how isolated it is from the rest of the park. To address the OP, the guy is overreacting. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/57 "2013-08-20T20:20:28Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > From what I can gather the blinds were on the inside, that is on the side where the exerciser was, as the staff member went from the hall to the gym to close the blinds. As I said upthread, PM me if you want a link to the letter sent to the paper. If so, I thing that’s a very significant details. In this case, the gym was certainly not acting to “protect” the exerciser from the roving eyes of a dozen toddlers (or even from the roving eyes of their moms)? Here’s a thought: Instead of linking the letter, can you quote it here, redacting any personally identifying details? (Was it a long letter?) Did the letter appear to be from the exerciser himself, or from some third party? (Sorry, you might have mentioned that but I missed it and the “Topic Review” posts, as I type this, don’t go all the way back.) And just how toddly were these toddlers? Could it be that some mothers wanted to breast-feed their kids, away from the presumedly skeevy eyes of a drooling lecher? (If so, I would have no sympathy for those moms. I think public breast-feeding is, or ought to be, a perfectly cromulent activity, but it can’t be had both ways: Women who wish to breast-feed publicly need to accept that they will be seen publicly.) ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/58 "2013-08-20T20:21:34Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Can you cite this? I’m skeptical, but I could be wrong. She’s telling the truth. The ticket the cops write is for not obeying park signage, and the playground signs say adults without children are not allowed in the playground area. Adults are allowed in the parks, but not the enclosed playground area unless you bring a child. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/59 "2013-08-20T20:22:01Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Is it really that creepy? Because I rather enjoy watching kids play. They’re fun. I’m a woman so it probably wouldn’t matter if I parked my ass on a bench and enjoyed watching children play. I don’t have kids of my own and honestly, I’m curious about children. It’s like feeding the ducks or some other harmless outdoor activity. I feel like there’s an unspoken message here that says, ‘‘Men shouldn’t enjoy being around children.’’ Is it creepy to smile at babies, too? > > I might be more understanding of this nonsense if there were an epidemic of park molestations across the country, but there aren’t. It’s a rare thing that parents are overly paranoid about. > > Seems to me I should be able to sit down any damn place I want. _grumble_ No it’s not really creepy. But I can sort of understand why parents would consider it odd for an adult man to hang around a park watching kids. A woman, no not creepy at all. Sure it’s a bit unfair, but child molesters are usually male. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718/60 "2013-08-20T20:25:28Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I might be more understanding of this nonsense if there were an epidemic of park molestations across the country, but there aren’t. It’s a rare thing that parents are overly paranoid about. > > Seems to me I should be able to sit down any damn place I want. _grumble_ Heh, honestly I do not know why I’ve appointed myself the defender of NYC parks, other than that I am a frequent park user and generally feel they are well run. Except for an extreme minority of vocal paranoid parents, I think the real purpose of the “no adults without a kid” in the playgrounds is to manage people flow. If most adults without kids are in the larger, open area of the park, then there is enough room within the playground area for those adults minding children. I guarantee that if you came to a playground in my neighborhood in NYC, and sat down on a bench, you wouldn’t be bothered at all unless you were actively doing something illegal at the time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-about-this-gym-situation-one-for-men-especially/666718.md?page=4)