# How would you feel if someone gave away a huge lot of your books without asking you first? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 19, 2016, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619 "2016-01-19T21:24:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/21 "2016-01-20T02:23:50Z")
Now, in my case, my mom THREW AWAY all my comics. Early Spidey, Doc Strange, Tales to Admonish/Abolish/Astonish, Daredevil, Super/Bat/No-/Elongated/Forbush Man… of course, I was in sixth grade and she did threaten to a billion times. But no, I haven’t forgotten, mom. And that’s why I keep threatening to make you feel even more guilty by totalling up the present Overstreet prices (totally ignoring that they weren’t Near Mint)(…more like Near Coverless). ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/22 "2016-01-20T02:34:17Z")
At first I would be mad at that person. Not really over the lost items (which can be replaced). But because my instructions were ignored. But then I would probably get angry at myself for getting angry. I mean, it makes no material difference to me whether the books are sold versus given away, right? If I was that attached to them, I should have kept them. So I think I’d probably try to learn from the whole situation so it doesn’t happen again. But I’d still allow myself to be mad. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/23 "2016-01-20T02:34:40Z")
An idle thought… Do you hoard books? And yes, get a Kindle. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/24 "2016-01-20T03:03:07Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > An idle thought… Do you hoard books? > > And yes, get a Kindle. Nah, I have one bookcase full. I have a Kindle already, but that was kind of beside the point. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/25 "2016-01-20T03:05:45Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > Get bent, you fucking asshole. > > You don’t just give away other people’s shit without asking them first. I don’t give a fuck if it’s their big ball of useless belly button lint, you keep your hands off other people’s stuff and ask before giving it away. > > In this case, a big box of my books were given away to goodwill. > > “I didn’t know you wanted to keep them!” > > That’s why you ASK. :rolleyes: I’d kill them. With extreme prejudice. And then I’d make them go retrieve every book they gave away. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/26 "2016-01-20T03:09:46Z")
My mother used to give away my clothes. (17 year old me; "hmmm the neighbour’s son has a jacket like mine. **checks closet** wait, that was actually mine…) OP, don’t get angry at your mother foracting like a mother. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/27 "2016-01-20T04:17:00Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > At first I would be mad at that person. Not really over the lost items (which can be replaced). But because my instructions were ignored. > > But then I would probably get angry at myself for getting angry. I mean, it makes no material difference to me whether the books are sold versus given away, right? \*\* If I was that attached to them, I should have kept them. So I think I’d probably try to learn from the whole situation so it doesn’t happen again.\*\* > > But I’d still allow myself to be mad. This. Also, **Idle** , I know everyone is different and everyones relationship with their parents is different but it is time to stop letting your parents guilt trip you. My grandma guilt trips my mom and she hates it. My mom guilt trips my brother and he hates it. She tries to guilt trip me but I saw through that bullshit and haven’t let it affect me since high school. My mom has told me a bunch of times that she doesn’t even realize she’s doing it but since that is how she was brought up that is the way she knows how to parent and she’s told me a bunch of times that if I notice it to let her know in private so she can work on it. Now you should help your parents when you can. But if you were so attached to the books you shouldn’t have given a box over to the garage sale. In hindsight, and for the future, you could offer something else instead. Like say, “I don’t have any books I would like to part with but I have this table I don’t really use you guys could sell.” or “I really want to keep my books but if you guys want you can try to sell my collection of midget beastiality porn.” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/28 "2016-01-20T05:48:53Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > Get bent, you fucking asshole. > > You don’t just give away other people’s shit without asking them first. I don’t give a fuck if it’s their big ball of useless belly button lint, you keep your hands off other people’s stuff and ask before giving it away. > > In this case, a big box of my books were given away to goodwill. > > “I didn’t know you wanted to keep them!” > > That’s why you ASK. :rolleyes: Man, that bites. You should encourage them to join the SDMB, maybe buy them a membership, and then BAN them. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/29 "2016-01-20T05:54:12Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Man, that bites. > > You should encourage them to join the SDMB, maybe buy them a membership, and then BAN them. Wait it was your MOM? I guess the only decision you have to make now is whether to give her the membership for her birthday or for Mother’s Day. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/30 "2016-01-20T06:58:12Z")
So what books were they? Maybe someone around here has an extra to share, or we’ll keep an eye out when we visit Goodwill. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/31 "2016-01-20T07:16:53Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > I probably wouldn’t have been as annoyed if it had been anything BUT books. You want to give away other shit of mine without asking? Fine. I can forgive it. But not my books. I didn’t even want to sell any in the first place and I made it clear. I didn’t want to clean out my room but Mommy _made me_. Unless you are ten years old, fucking sack up. Assuming you’re a grown man, if you want to keep something you fucking keep it, not give to to your Mom to get rid of and then complain because she threw out your stuff that you, like totally wanted to keep, _MOOOOOM_. And don’t call her a fucking asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/32 "2016-01-20T07:19:27Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > Nah, I have one bookcase full. > > I have a Kindle already, but that was kind of beside the point. Sorry I missed that you told them multiple times - not that you mentioned it. Why do they care that you have books in your apartment? Are they the kind of people who wish that Fahrenheit 451 didn’t come true? And have you ever thought of disowning them? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/33 "2016-01-20T07:31:13Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > I didn’t want to clean out my room but Mommy _made me_. Unless you are ten years old, fucking sack up. Assuming you’re a grown man, if you want to keep something you fucking keep it, not give to to your Mom to get rid of and then complain because she threw out your stuff that you, like totally wanted to keep, _MOOOOOM_. And don’t call her a fucking asshole. Discomfited though I am by IT’s pitting his mother, if you’d read the thread you’d see why the rest of your rant is misguided. Your attention to detail is positively Smurfish. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/34 "2016-01-20T07:42:31Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Now, in my case, my mom THREW AWAY all my comics. Early Spidey, Doc Strange, Tales to Admonish/Abolish/Astonish, Daredevil, Super/Bat/No-/Elongated/Forbush Man… of course, I was in sixth grade and she did threaten to a billion times. > > But no, I haven’t forgotten, mom. And that’s why I keep threatening to make you feel even more guilty by totalling up the present Overstreet prices (totally ignoring that they weren’t Near Mint)(…more like Near Coverless). If most people’s mothers didn’t give the comic books away, the remaining ones wouldn’t be worth anything at all. She was just doing her part to make sure that somebody’s comics would be worth something, someday, instead of not even what they originally cost. They probably aren’t anyway. (I have a box in the garage belonging to a, uh, 35-year-old. I think they need another 50 years of seasoning, maybe 100 since everybody’s keeping them. But chances are in 50 years everything will be all digital all the time and they won’t be worth a thing. Not that I will be around to care. Fortunately my son has devised a much better retirement investment strategy, it’s called a 401K.) ---
**Author:** ![Personal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Personal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Personal)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/35 "2016-01-20T08:07:10Z")
Assuming that they gave them to one Goodwill location, and assuming that Goodwill is probably selling them for a dollar or two apiece, and assuming that books aren’t fast movers at Goodwill, if they’re valuable to you, just go buy them back. Of course, if it was a drop box in the Kroger parking lot, all bets are off. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/36 "2016-01-20T08:09:39Z")
I think it’s pretty awful that they got rid of them, but I’m unclear on why your parents are so hung up on your book collection. Even as non-readers, why would they care that you have a non-excessive number of books (one bookcase full) in your own home? If you were unable to use rooms in your apartment because unwieldy towers of books threatened to avalanche… If they had to keep bailing you out financially because you direct all you money to shady book dealers… If they are storing a ton of your stuff because you don’t have room because of the books… If the apartment is directly above them and they have realistic fears of the floor/roof caving in under the weight of books… Well, fair enough. But if they are just annoyed that you own books and they’re pressuring you to get rid of them and they are (apparently) plotting ways to get you to give them away… Well. That’s a little weird. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/37 "2016-01-20T11:49:06Z")
Sorry it’s on you. You never, ever leave books with non-readers for any reason. You weren’t there the nanosecond the garage sale ended? Then this was bound to happen. Non-readers see used books as about the same as used toilet paper - they’re going to get rid of both and they can’t understand someone keeping either. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/38 "2016-01-20T12:19:52Z")
I’m unclear. Do you own/pay the rent for your own apartment? Or is this an apartment where you are living with your parents/they are paying your rent/mortgage? ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/39 "2016-01-20T12:28:43Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > Sorry it’s on you. You never, ever leave books with non-readers for any reason. You weren’t there the nanosecond the garage sale ended? Then this was bound to happen. Non-readers see used books as about the same as used toilet paper - they’re going to get rid of both and they can’t understand someone keeping either. This. Did you have a clear agreement that they would store the unsold books, and how long it would take you to come and get the unsold books? Because I can sympathize with the fight to keep unwanted clutter from creeping in. It’s hard enough to keep and throw your own clutter out. I am merciless when it comes to clutter by people who don’t live in my home. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2016, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/40 "2016-01-20T12:37:24Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > I begrudingly agreed, but **with the caveat that I wanted to keep any unsold ones.** I suspect the OP made it extremely clear and that his parent’s ignored his wishes. So the bigger question here is why did the OP even agree to sell his books (assuming he’s not responsible for his parent’s financial problems)? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619.md?page=3)