# How would you feel if someone gave away a huge lot of your books without asking you first? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 19, 2016, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619 "2016-01-19T21:24:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/121 "2016-01-21T19:48:27Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > A lot of people have had this reaction, but I don’t get it. If someone else, out of the kindness of their heart, allows you to sell some of their property, then it’s the height of inconsideration to repay their kindness by casually tossing the rest of their property out. > > And it’s not anyone else’s place to decide for someone whether their property is valuable or not. It’s their property and you need to respect their decisions about it. > > IMO it was a jerk move by IT’s parents, and he (she?) is right to be upset about it. > > That said, you have to consider the fact that you want to have a constructive relationship with your parents, and not make too much of it. Like anyone else dealing with the transgressions of other people who they want and need to remain close to. > > All that said, this … > … is pretty darned funny. 😃 If I give my neat freak parents a box of my virtually worthless crap books to sell at a garage sale and they donate the unsold portion it’s not like I’m putting it on consignment with Christie’s. It’s worth being exasperated and muttering “never again” to yourself, it’s not worth an adult meltdown. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/122 "2016-01-21T19:56:01Z")
> [@astro](#): > > It’s worth being exasperated and muttering “never again” to yourself… And that’s not what I did? ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/123 "2016-01-21T19:58:50Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > I didn’t want to clean out my room but Mommy _made me_. Unless you are ten years old, fucking sack up. Assuming you’re a grown man, if you want to keep something you fucking keep it, not give to to your Mom to get rid of and then complain because she threw out your stuff that you, like totally wanted to keep, _MOOOOOM_. And don’t call her a fucking asshole. This. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/124 "2016-01-21T20:07:33Z")
> [@astro](#): > > If I give my neat freak parents a box of my virtually worthless crap books to sell at a garage sale and they donate the unsold portion it’s not like I’m putting it on consignment with Christie’s. It’s worth being exasperated and muttering “never again” to yourself, it’s not worth an adult meltdown. Even if you told them more than once not to give them away? And the problem with “never again” is it’s never the exact same situation again and your vigilance wavers. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/125 "2016-01-21T20:09:01Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > And that’s not what I did? “Get bent, you fucking asshole.” directed to your _mother_? That’s raw, childish petulance and a lot more than an eyeroll. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/126 "2016-01-21T20:20:10Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Even if you told them more than once not to give them away? And the problem with “never again” is it’s never the exact same situation again and your vigilance wavers. The instant he gave them the box of junk books they were effectively gone. Setting up a lot of preambles on how the unsold portion of your precious junk is to be treated is setting yourself up for disappointment. Putting up conditions on something I’m donating to a garage sale is foolhardy. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/127 "2016-01-21T20:28:18Z")
> [@astro](#): > > The instant he gave them the box of junk books they were effectively gone. Setting up a lot of preambles on how the unsold portion of your precious junk is to be treated is setting yourself up for disappointment. Putting up conditions on something I’m donating to a garage sale is foolhardy. Damn there are some mean dopers here. My issue with the OP was the fact that he cared what his parents thought about his own stuff in his own apartment. After the 2nd time my parents would saying anything, I would just tell them never mention it again, or don’t come over anymore. However, he told his parents he wanted back whatever they didn’t sell, and they didn’t give it back. That is definitely wrong. Not sure he should be called a baby or anything for that. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/128 "2016-01-21T20:53:48Z")
> [@astro](#): > > The instant he gave them the box of junk books they were effectively gone. Setting up a lot of preambles on how the unsold portion of your precious junk is to be treated is setting yourself up for disappointment. Putting up conditions on something I’m donating to a garage sale is foolhardy. You seem to be having a bigger hissy fit than IT. it is really not too much to ask that your parents listen to you. Especially since the action with the least amount of effort would have been to keep the box in the garage until he came back. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/129 "2016-01-21T20:55:33Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > I hate to be a dick in \ > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Cite? > [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Your mom is a snip. Ummm . . . what? ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/130 "2016-01-21T22:35:18Z")
> [@astro](#): > > “Get bent, you fucking asshole.” directed to your _mother_? That’s raw, childish petulance and a lot more than an eyeroll. It’s called venting a bit when you’re exasperated, which–in your own words–is something you can understand feeling. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2016, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/131 "2016-01-21T22:39:20Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > You seem to be having a bigger hissy fit than IT. it is really not too much to ask that your parents listen to you. Especially since the action with the least amount of effort would have been to keep the box in the garage until he came back. Yes it sure would have been, but they didn’t do that with the remainder of his box of garage sale books, so what is the appropriate response in that context? Dial up your inner teenager for a hearty “Get bent, you fucking asshole!” for your errant Mom or shrug your shoulders and promise yourself not to do it again? ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/132 "2016-01-22T00:12:59Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Yes it sure would have been, but they didn’t do that with the remainder of his box of garage sale books, so what is the appropriate response in that context? Dial up your inner teenager for a hearty “Get bent, you fucking asshole!” for your errant Mom or shrug your shoulders and promise yourself not to do it again? I think you’re over-reacting a little [sarcasm], here, **astro**. Anyway, it’s my experience that one’s family can piss one off worse than almost anybody. History, you know, plus knowing how to push the right buttons. So, you know, ease up. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/133 "2016-01-22T00:46:45Z")
There are many times I have to bite my tongue and not swear at my [mom/sister/customer/random nun who didn’t realize she cut in front of me]. One way I cope is to think “Ohhhhh, man, as soon as I get home I’m opening that Mini-Rant Thread and subjecting Mother Oh-So-Superior to the flames of The Pit…” Sometimes the more whiney or immature I am here, the more reserved I can be face-to-face. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/134 "2016-01-22T02:55:30Z")
> [@astro](#): > > … (having now read the thread) … There’s a concept! But why let facts get in the way of a good rant? As was clear before the end of the first page, **Idle Thoughts** was suckered by a manipulative and deceitful bitch of a mother and came here to vent, assuming, I imagine, that a place avowedly dedicated to fighting ignorance would understand an affection for books. Some would argue that the person who nearly ripped herself in two bringing one into this world deserves more respect than a handful of sprung and tattered paperback novels, and I would be such a one (at least for Mary Higgins Clark’s novels - other authors, maybe not). Some would further argue that venting on an anonymous message board might be a good way to relieve stress, so as to ensure the Ripped One was treated with the respect she is owed. So, we wonder, **astro** , just why are you so invested in all this? > [@glee](#): > > I have a stack of players linked to my TV: > > - a computer (for online programmes) > - a DVD player (all regions, naturally) > - a video player (for my video tapes) > > Why yes, I am over 60. 😉 Any tips on how to handle all the remotes? I have a Nook, a laptop, a smartphone, and an iPad, have spent my working life watching computers grow up, and people still assume I just don’t understand the newfangled technology stuff when I complain that some new software is useless junk. (No, it’s junk.) ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/135 "2016-01-22T03:09:02Z")
I would be…irritated. I would plot a suitable revenge. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/136 "2016-01-22T03:20:20Z")
> [@glee](#): > > I have a stack of players linked to my TV: > > - a computer (for online programmes) > - a DVD player (all regions, naturally) > - a video player (for my video tapes) > > Why yes, I am over 60. 😉 > [@j666](#): > > Any tips on how to handle all the remotes? > > I have a Nook, a laptop, a smartphone, and an iPad, have spent my working life watching computers grow up, and people still assume I just don’t understand the newfangled technology stuff when I complain that some new software is useless junk. (No, it’s junk.) All the remotes sit on a side table within easy reach. I did hear about a single remote that could handle multiple devices (and was shaped like a wand 🆒), but haven’t got around to investigating that yet… ---
**Author:** ![IaMoDiNaRy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@IaMoDiNaRy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IaMoDiNaRy)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/137 "2016-01-22T04:10:45Z")
NM ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2016, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/138 "2016-01-22T04:11:49Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > How embarrassing. I DO own a complete collection of Lil’ Abner. 1934-1962, at least, because Kitchen Sink Press went out of business at that point and the annual volumes stopped appearing. > > Many people LIKE Lil’ Abner. Put THAT in your Fosdick and suck it. I have issues 1-16, less one volume. I like _L’il Abner_. Part of it is because they’re funny. But it is also an artefact of a different era, which interests me; and many of the characters were used as nose art on WWII aircraft, which are a special interest of mine. WWII fighter pilot (9 kills) and CIA pilot [James B. McGovern, Jr.'](https://johnib.wordpress.com/category/p-40-warhawk/)'s nickname came from _L’il Abner_. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2016, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/139 "2016-01-23T01:15:57Z")
> [@j666](#): > > There’s a concept! But why let facts get in the way of a good rant? > > As was clear before the end of the first page, **Idle Thoughts** was suckered by a manipulative and deceitful bitch of a mother and came here to vent, assuming, I imagine, that a place avowedly dedicated to fighting ignorance would understand an affection for books. > > Some would argue that the person who nearly ripped herself in two bringing one into this world deserves more respect than a handful of sprung and tattered paperback novels, and I would be such a one (at least for Mary Higgins Clark’s novels - other authors, maybe not). > > Some would further argue that venting on an anonymous message board might be a good way to relieve stress, so as to ensure the Ripped One was treated with the respect she is owed. > > So, we wonder, **astro** , just why are you so invested in all this? > Any tips on how to handle all the remotes? > > I have a Nook, a laptop, a smartphone, and an iPad, have spent my working life watching computers grow up, and people still assume I just don’t understand the newfangled technology stuff when I complain that some new software is useless junk. (No, it’s junk.) The level of immaturity when it comes to the failures of parents has always astounded me. Dopers set the gold standard for being childish, petulant rolling on the ground and howling injustice collectors when it comes to the foibles of their mothers and fathers. And these are supposed adults behaving like this. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2016, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619/140 "2016-01-23T02:01:39Z")
> [@astro](#): > > The level of immaturity when it comes to the failures of parents has always astounded me. Dopers set the gold standard for being childish, petulant rolling on the ground and howling injustice collectors when it comes to the foibles of their mothers and fathers. And these are supposed adults behaving like this. You’re still in here, on about this? Don’t you have another topic or two you could go start that consist of nothing but a link and a comment? Now see, that was immature. It was a childish, personal pot shot. See the difference? It was very immature. It sure felt good, though. Anyway, I’m done with this topic, I was over it three days ago, but if you want to continue to feel outrage either agreeing with me or because of me, have at it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-feel-if-someone-gave-away-a-huge-lot-of-your-books-without-asking-you-first/743619.md?page=8)