If they weren’t having money problems, I’d say just give them a list of the books so they could pay for kindle edition replacements.
I’d have to reluctantly say that if you were willing to part with them if they had been sold, then just act as if they were all sold and move on. Chalk it up as one of life’s lessons and an illustration of what you value (it doesn’t mean that your parents were right to disregard your wishes; they weren’t, but what is done is done).
FWIW, I have nearly 14 bookcases for my collection, I do not and probably never will own a kindle, and I live by the motto from a button I collected at a SF convention once: THEY GOT THE LIBRARY AT ALEXANDRIA; THEY ARE NOT GETTING MINE!
Wise words, IMHO. Go forth and do likewise in the future.
Sounds like they are mad you did not move back home. Just remember this incident the next time they try to convince you to return to the broken nest.
I was with you up to here:
For fucks sake, they are still at Goodwill. Go get them.
yeah, I don’t understand this part. They’ve been trying for years to get you to throw away books at are in your own apartment? Years? Do they ask you every time you see them “Hey, did you get rid of those books yet?”
You totally saw this coming, right? This can’t be a surprising turn of events. Your parents have been trying for years to get you to get rid of your books, they guilt you into giving you a bunch of your books, and then they… got rid of a bunch of your books.
Your anger is justified, I’d be upset too, but your surprise seems misplaced.
The whole time I was collecting and bagging comics, I was thinking about how much my kids would like them. No such luck: “Like, comics are like what dads YOUR age, like, like.”
Now, do I wait and see if it skips a generation, or sell ‘em and gain a lot of storage space? (But not at my parents’ garage sale…)
You’re pathetic.
I’m sorry, honey. Knowing what I know about your parents, especially your mom, trusting them was the first mistake. I know it’s terrible to think that some of us can’t trust our parents, but I couldn’t trust my mom with my stuff either.
Some parents just don’t have any idea of boundaries and will push and push and push until you finally rebel…then they are all hurt. :rolleyes:
Good point.
And someone else mentioned other Dopers might have copies. What books are you missing the most? Like, you can name without even seeing the box?
Books are cheap to mail.
I get your anger. It’s not as justified as when my wife gave away stuff of mine without asking and without anything like a garage sale to confuse the issue. But they were still yours, with an agreement about what they could do.
Consider the fact that you MAY have a book hoarding problem. I find it really hard to square your two statements that 1) your parents have been trying to get you to get rid of some of your books for years and 2) you only have “one bookshelf” of books. No one who loves books as much as you do only has one bookshelf of books. I have maybe 10 and I know I have a problem.
Yes, they seem to have tricked you into getting rid of some of your books. But, on the bright side, these are all books you were willing to sell and get rid of. Let them go.
Secondly, you have an odd and not particularly healthy relationship with your parents if you are indeed an adult. Are you financially dependent on them in some way? If not, it’s time to be a grown-up.
Maybe you already addressed this, but… Go up to the Goodwill and ask for them back.
That’s a fucking stupid and insulting comment. What are you, 15? “Old people are like, lame, man. They can’t even remember their own names.”
The funny part is he thinks 55 is old (or at least old enough for senility).
The whole thing is pretty weird though. Parents are having trouble paying the bills so you donate a box of books? I doubt if they had sold all the books they would have got more than 10 bucks. And you can’t have a garage sale every month.
Am I the only one that thinks this is weird?
You bring a box of books over from YOUR apartment to your parents’ house to help them raise money at a garage sale and then they donate the leftovers?
That just sounds all kinds of weird. These were not books sitting in their basement. They asked you to do them a favor and bring over some books for them to sell to help them with their bills? WTF?!?!
Something else seems to be going on here.
Somebody just asked me why I was scowling, and I said I was mad at someone else’s parents for giving away their books.
I think I need to separate Dope Life from Real Life…
I’m over 50 myself, with grown kids. I can see myself doing something like “Oh, bunch of boxes left over from the garage sale. Hmm, I’m driving past Goodwill on my way to Home Depot, so no prob…”
Just saying they might be more guilty of obliviousness than malice.
Just saw my 401K balance has been my answer for the past few months.
OP: I feel that your situation is one which is a frequently-encountered part of the human condition: occurs very often in dealings with people, irrespective of whether they might be old / scatterbrained / one’s parents with whom one has perhaps a rocky relationship.
It would seem that most people, across the board, do not deal well with attempted arrangements which are complicated and hedged-about with “ifs and buts” – and all of which stuff may seem counter-intuitive; as with your “caveat” described in your “full story” post. My sympathies are with you in this situation: I’m one who tends to try to set up arrangements of this sort – and who have often been “burned” in such episodes. This is a kind of thing which, it appears, most folk can’t handle: their instinctive reaction is, “I don’t need all this convoluted crap, and am not even going to try to process it: what’s the matter with this fool? – he doesn’t seem to know what the hell he wants”. And they variously thwart / screw up the attempted arrangements, and nothing will make them feel any remorse for doing so.
I don’t see why it’s so difficult / such a terrible imposition, for people to pay attention, and sort out and keep in mind and comply with the “Plan A / Plan B” stuff: sadly, though, folk like you and I are in the minority here – the world at large, is strongly in the “disregard and scorn complex arrangements” camp.