# How would you go about knocking off a God? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 2, 2010, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990 "2010-05-02T00:19:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/1 "2010-05-02T00:19:20Z")
From [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=561614) thread. > [@Believing In God While Hating Him](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/believing-in-god-while-hating-him/537942/97): > > This requires a separate thread, something like:\*\*\* How would you go about knocking off a god. \*\*\* All right, here’s the situation: We have, through some hypothetical and inexplainable process discovered incontrovertible evidence proving the existence of God as depicted in the Old and New Testaments. It turns out that the Christians were right all along- the Bible is the word of God and accurately describes him and all his features/powers, etc. Scientists all over the world are now in near-total agreement that God is real and that’s that. The inevitable resistance movement is formed and you’re a part of it. The top leaders of this resistance movement meet up in a shady bunker somewhere to discuss what the plan is. Well? Where do we go from here? How exactly do we go about fighting God? Go! ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/2 "2010-05-02T00:28:52Z")
In the name of Jesus one is already more powerful then all other gods, so that takes care of all except one. To knock off God Himself, not a chance, but IMHO He is willing to give you your very own universe to do whatever you want with. You will get it with nothing in it, all creation there is up to you. He is also willing to take you back if you ask Him. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/3 "2010-05-02T00:35:05Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > In the name of Jesus one is already more powerful then all other gods, so that takes care of all except one. > > To knock off God Himself, not a chance, but IMHO He is willing to give you your very own universe to do whatever you want with. You will get it with nothing in it, all creation there is up to you. He is also willing to take you back if you ask Him. I hate to derail my own thread, but then why the hell is there anyone in hell? All they’ve got to do is ask. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/4 "2010-05-02T00:36:32Z")
Nuke him from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/5 "2010-05-02T00:37:52Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > Nuke him from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/6 "2010-05-02T00:39:51Z")
Send in His most fervent worshipers to talk to Him. He’ll cap Himself in despair. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/7 "2010-05-02T00:42:45Z")
I’m confident I can kill God, until such time that someone demonstrates I can’t. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/8 "2010-05-02T00:43:51Z")
Damn, can’t find a video link to the Simpsons song “Just Don’t Look” ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/9 "2010-05-02T00:44:49Z")
I think Ranchoth has it best so far: > [@Believing In God While Hating Him](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/believing-in-god-while-hating-him/537942/14): > > In fact, I’d say we rebuild the Babylon Gun, load it with a saboted shell built around the Spear of Destiny, and we try and lure the bastard into a position where we can get a clear shot of his heart. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/10 "2010-05-02T00:46:44Z")
Baldur was killed with [mistletoe](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baldur). There is a justification for it, in that mistletoe had not promised not to harm Baldur, but maybe that’s a coverup. I suggest a component of mistletoe in the sabot, just to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/11 "2010-05-02T00:51:02Z")
Give Him a starship. And a red shirt. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/12 "2010-05-02T00:54:45Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I hate to derail my own thread, but then why the hell is there anyone in hell? All they’ve got to do is ask. Ignore Kanic, all you will get is hard line fundamentalist christianity. Kanic can not look at any question other than in their own small universe-view. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/13 "2010-05-02T00:55:49Z")
So we’ve got a mistletoe-coated anti-tank round housing the Spear of Destiny. We’ll lure him like Cain did, with a sacrifice of fruits and vegetables. God gets pissed when you don’t offer him blood and he’ll want to come see what’s up. > [@Believing In God While Hating Him](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/believing-in-god-while-hating-him/537942/48): > > Looks like it’s not too hard to thwart the will of Yahweh. > > > [@Judges 1:19](#): > > > > The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had iron chariots. And we’ll just use “iron chariots” (tanks) to defeat God’s servants on Earth. It worked for Judah’s enemies. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/14 "2010-05-02T01:03:32Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > Damn, can’t find a video link to the Simpsons song “Just Don’t Look” [This is a pretty fair substitute.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxiLUEgN6vQ) Also failing/as a backup to the Babylon Spear, we could try and determine if the _devil_ also exists, and if it’s possible to kill _him_—he’s arguably weaker than God, but more powerful than humanity. It may be possible to use him as a weapon against God, but keep him on a leash (or under a sword of Damocles). Or simply destroy him once he’s outlived his usefulness, and be free of the Dei once and for all. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/15 "2010-05-02T01:05:26Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I hate to derail my own thread, but then why the hell is there anyone in hell? All they’ve got to do is ask. Exactly. The people in hell are so distrustful that they don’t even ask. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/16 "2010-05-02T01:06:18Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > Exactly. The people in hell are so distrustful that they don’t even ask. I don’t know whether you’re being serious or not. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/17 "2010-05-02T01:15:58Z")
If God is material - and the Bible often speaks of him as such - then nuclear weapons should be enough; probably overkill in fact. If he’s something more exotic then black holes should work; making or grabbing one is a _tiny bit_ beyond what we can do yet though. Of course, both methods require he make an appearance. > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > And we’ll just use “iron chariots” (tanks) to defeat God’s servants on Earth. It worked for Judah’s enemies. Wake up Godzilla, and send him against God; Godzilla can handle iron chariots just fine so we know who’d win, right? 😃 An idea from the novel _The Jehovah Contract_ that I mentioned in the other thread, in response to **Ranchoth** ’s comment. > [@Believing In God While Hating Him](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/believing-in-god-while-hating-him/537942/17): > > Just for style, we should paint on the side of the gun the “Godkiller” symbol from the novel _The Jehovah Contract_; a close up of Michelangelo’s image of God from the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, with a sniper’s crosshairs imposed over his temple. If gods are defined or powered by belief, convince people that God can die. They had a a whole “Godkiller” ad campaign, complete with “Godkiller” T-shirts with the logo and a slogan (this was written before 2000) “_In the first day of the year 2000, God will die._” ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/18 "2010-05-02T01:21:25Z")
If we learn that God is, then I’m loving me some Jesus. Why fight when you don’t have to? ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/19 "2010-05-02T01:23:17Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I don’t know whether you’re being serious or not. …me neither. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990/20 "2010-05-02T01:25:29Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > If God is material - and the Bible often speaks of him as such - then nuclear weapons should be enough; probably overkill in fact. If he’s something more exotic then black holes should work; making or grabbing one is a _tiny bit_ beyond what we can do yet though. Of course, both methods require he make an appearance. Exactly. He doesn’t necessarily have to show himself and he might be able to appear in more than one place at once. That’s not even considering he might just stay materialized in Heaven. I suggest we pump **way** more funding into space research and attempt to locate it and put an end to the spiritual slave ships taking souls off to worship him for an eternity. Then we could try to ship nukes to Heaven. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-go-about-knocking-off-a-god/537990.md?page=2)