# How would you handle this guy? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 2, 2015, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-handle-this-guy/714043 "2015-03-02T20:29:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2015, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-handle-this-guy/714043/41 "2015-03-04T03:19:09Z")
> [@JcWoman](#): > > I assume he’s like that with everyone, but I don’t know for sure. I know that his coworker, who I also work with tends to roll her eyes when I bring up his name. She picked up the process quickly and is a smart cookie. Him, not so much. > > That being said, I do get an insecure vibe from him, like he’s been smacked down for doing things wrong, so he asks for every little detail to ensure he does things right. The document I wrote for him included a few steps to copy a zipfile from email into a folder and unzipping it. He followed that precisely to the letter, and when I suggested alternatives, it thoroughly confused him. By that I mean really simple stuff like drag-and-drop versus mouse clicking through menus. It’s like he’s incapable or afraid to think for himself on the teensiest thing. I used to work with someone like that, the way his brain was wired he just didn’t understand what the hell he was doing and had to learn steps by rote. Once he had the steps down, he could repeat that process perfectly forever, but ask him to change or skip a step and you’d see his brain fry. He also had a lack of self confidence that seemed to come from being belted for making mistakes before so he was overly thorough. My suggestion is to reconsider your written instructions to him and really dumb them down like you were were writing to someone with no background or assumed knowledge. The first time you do that, follow up straight away with contact asking if he finds that way of writing more useful on the off chance he thinks you’re being condescending. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2015, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-handle-this-guy/714043/42 "2015-03-04T03:44:10Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Bottom line is you’re now carrying this guy. For whatever reason he’s being tasked with work beyond his skill + confidence level. And you’re spending X hours a week helping him do his work instead of doing your own work. > > Ask your boss if he/she agrees with you doing X hours less work per week on your projects to help the other department for free. Be guided by the answer. IME these “my colleague really sucks” threads always present a very black-and-white picture, both because people generally have difficulty seeing things from other people’s POV, but also because it makes for a more interesting, shorter OP. Also when someone estimates how much time they waste doing something, they tend to overstate a lot. I’m not suggesting the OP is doing either of these things. I’m just saying they should pause before going in to see the boss all guns blazing. Is the situation _really_ as simple as described in the SD thread (or what you tell your friends)? OTOH, an _informal chat_ about a colleague should be risk free. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2015, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-handle-this-guy/714043/43 "2015-03-04T14:01:07Z")
> [@JcWoman](#): > > The thing that we work together on is a task that I used to be responsible for, but was asked by management to transition over to him. That was more than two years ago and he still doesn’t feel confident enough with it to just run with it. I shouldn’t have to be supporting him at this level still. So you’re not really working together, you’re just handholding during this never-ending transition? I think, after two years of this, it would be appropriate for you to tell your own boss that this transition isn’t working out because coworker can’t seem to fly on his own. Mention that this is impacting your own work because you’re still spending time on your old task. You might even ask to have the task reassigned to you, since it’s faster than having to coach Ron (let’s call him Ron) through it every week. And speaking of informal chats - maybe your boss can have a little chat with Ron’s boss about what is even Ron’s deal? ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2015, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-handle-this-guy/714043/44 "2015-03-04T14:32:43Z")
> [@JcWoman](#): > > So there’s this guy at work who apparently processes information verbally. A verbal information processor? Whats wrong with just calling him an fucking idiot? ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2015, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-handle-this-guy/714043/45 "2015-03-04T15:02:53Z")
He could be lazy. He could have an actual learning disability, he could do this as some petty power/dominance display, he could be illiterate or nearly so, and so on. There’s no way to be sure what the actual issue is with just the information and behavior that you have. I think it’s best to approach the issue in good faith (like you have been), so I’d recommend he try some text-to-speech software/apps (there are a lot of free ones) first. If that really helps him, awesome! If not, or if he doesn’t even want to try it, then I’d say it’s appropriate to go to your manager to discuss the issue. Trying to find a solution first (the software) would demonstrate good-faith effort and attempts to resolve the issue before going to him/her. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2015, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-handle-this-guy/714043/46 "2015-03-04T16:50:31Z")
You’ve been carrying on with this for TWO YEARS?! You’re not his supervisor, manager, mentor, or assistant, right? It’s not your responsibility to do what you’re doing. I would have given him about two weeks and then told him if he couldn’t make progress on taking over this project, he would need to talk to his manager about it. And that I didn’t have time to both give him directions and then go over the directions, over and over and over and over. It’s not your responsibility to find other ways to make this understandable for him either - not after two years. If he can’t process the written word, he needs to either change jobs, or take reading comprehension lessons, or otherwise make arrangements to learn how to do so. I.e., if he can’t understand email directions, HE or his manager should be the one figuring out a way to only get directions orally. If he’s doing this to you, he’s probably doing it to everyone. How many hours are wasted holding this guy’s hand? Some people just aren’t cut out for a certain job. Maybe he’s one. Two years you’ve been transitioning this project?? I can’t even. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-handle-this-guy/714043/47 "2015-03-05T03:44:26Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I tend to be a bit of a jerk at times and this is one of them. > > Email is a critical component of intra-corporate communications. I expect people to read them and be able to understand and work from them. So I’d probably be having a not very pleasant chat with him about his inability to read for comprehension and how important this is for his career, noting that my next discussion would be with his supervisor, but at no time does his inability to perform a key job function give him the right to stomp the fuck out of _my_ time and the things I need to accomplish. > > “Learn to read, motherfucker” > > Probably only a slight exaggeration. More or less, this. Make it clear to him how he needs to change and start enforcing it. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-handle-this-guy/714043/48 "2015-03-05T03:48:52Z")
> [@JcWoman](#): > > I think my emails are for the most part, acceptable. Half of the time when he calls me it’s to say “I got your email, so you’re saying…” and he just rephrases what I wrote. It’s kind of like active listening with email. That’s the part that really drives me batty. I can understand calling to clear up something you don’t understand. But calling just to repeat back to me what I wrote…? WTF? I work with one guy like that – annoying but I take a deep breath and then use it to mm-hm, mm-hm him till he’s done. Then there’s the guy that says “What I hear you saying is, ‘exact opposite of what I said’”… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-handle-this-guy/714043/49 "2015-03-05T06:18:11Z")
> [@JcWoman](#): > > I assume he’s like that with everyone, but I don’t know for sure. I know that his coworker, who I also work with tends to roll her eyes when I bring up his name. She picked up the process quickly and is a smart cookie. Him, not so much. A few have suggested the OP’s memos may be need to be clearer. That is contradicted by this information. > [@Moonlitherial](#): > > I have multiple communication streams for reaching people at work, email, meetings, phone and a communicator app. Some of my team prefers meetings to be booked because they get less interruptions that way, other prefer email so they can slot things in as they have time etc, etc. Learning which resource prefers which communication method is key to me being able to get my project work completed in a timely manner without being the escalating bitch. One of my peers is known by this nickname. He’s an older man who is nearing retirement and has no patience with how others communicate, they must bend to his will. Instead, you bend to the will of others. And the others know it. > [@LSLGuy](#): > > Bottom line is you’re now carrying this guy. For whatever reason he’s being tasked with work beyond his skill + confidence level. And you’re spending X hours a week helping him do his work instead of doing your own work. > > Ask your boss if he/she agrees with you doing X hours less work per week on your projects to help the other department for free. Be guided by the answer. This. Seriously, this is not your problem at all. Inform your supervisor. The problem guy’s alleged “lack of confidence” may be from the very fact that (apparently) he isn’t good at getting information from written communication. Obviously his productivity is limited by that. I think sending him some voice message is a poor idea. It’s just giving in to the problem. But if you must, don’t use voicemail. The usual voicemail doesn’t allow you to keep a copy of your message, so that’s a bad idea, because sure as shooting, he will say, “You didn’t say that” and you will need something to cover your ass. Send some kind of voice message you can keep a copy of. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-handle-this-guy/714043.md?page=2)