# How would you have screwed up the quest of the One Ring?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [February 3, 2010, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574 "2010-02-03T20:20:34Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2010, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/21 "2010-02-03T22:34:59Z")
I would have played keep away from the Nazgul. Put the ring for a hour. Then go to the most random place in Middle Earth, with no strategic benefit from going there, and wear it for another hour. Rinse and repeat.
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### Author:  [@HorseloverFat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HorseloverFat)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2010, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/22 "2010-02-03T22:36:36Z")
I always wondered why they just didnt get on a ship, go out to the middle of the ocean, and just toss it. No Mordor, no volcanoes. My understanding of magic and magical creatures in LOTRverse isnt great, but I dont think there’s an obvious way to retrieve a magic ring from the bottom of the ocean. 10 or 20k feet deep is probably beyond the reach of their powers and technology for a very long time.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/23 "2010-02-03T22:48:51Z")
> [@HorseloverFat](#):
>
> I always wondered why they just didnt get on a ship, go out to the middle of the ocean, and just toss it. No Mordor, no volcanoes. My understanding of magic and magical creatures in LOTRverse isnt great, but I dont think there’s an obvious way to retrieve a magic ring from the bottom of the ocean. 10 or 20k feet deep is probably beyond the reach of their powers and technology for a very long time.
Yes, but it doesn’t solve the Mordor problem. Sauron had the West outclassed militarily whether he had the Ring or not. Gondor et al would have fallen FASTER if ole cruel Gorthaur had had the Ring, but they still lose without it. Destroying the ring is just a best method of killing Sauron.
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### Author:  [@This\_Just\_In\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/This_Just_In_2)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2010, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/24 "2010-02-03T22:49:13Z")
Beautiful Rivendell elves, invisible ring. Sweet.
Umm, so where are the changing rooms again?
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### Author:  [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2010, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/25 "2010-02-03T23:06:23Z")
> [@HorseloverFat](#):
>
> I always wondered why they just didnt get on a ship, go out to the middle of the ocean, and just toss it. No Mordor, no volcanoes. My understanding of magic and magical creatures in LOTRverse isnt great, but I dont think there’s an obvious way to retrieve a magic ring from the bottom of the ocean. 10 or 20k feet deep is probably beyond the reach of their powers and technology for a very long time.
Meh, Smeagol would just find it inside a fish, and it’d all go to hell again.
Besides, Gandalf declared that this was a problem for the denizens of Middle Earth to deal with now, not put off for future generations. Sauron without the ring was heading for victory, the only hope to avoid enslavement by him was to destroy it, not hide it.
Me, I’d have gotten caught up in the Library of Rivendell, read all the books there, then would want to hit the library at the Grey Havens, and maybe see if there were any good books up in Fornost. Maybe visit the ruins of Annuminas, then pop down to Tharbad to catch some rays and go for a swim.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2010, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/26 "2010-02-03T23:15:52Z")
**HorseloverFat** , another problem with chucking the Ring into the ocean (which was actually considered, if I recall aright) is that the Ring has a sort of consciousness of its own–a will to return to Sauron. It screws with Bilbo at least twice to that effect, and constantly with poor Frodo. In your scenario, I expect it would compel some fish to swallow it and start swimming back to Middle-earth. It won’t even be bothered if another fish eats it; that’ll just be a bigger boat for it to travel in.
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### Author:  [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2010, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/27 "2010-02-03T23:20:01Z")
I would’ve gotten lost right off the bat. Or lose the ring right off the bat. Both, probably.
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### Author:  [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2010, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/28 "2010-02-03T23:31:27Z")
I probably would have tossed the Ring at sea. Sure, it will probably be found again some decades or centuries later. Meaning (and this is important, so pay attention, Elrond) Men have some free, non-tempted-by-power time to kick weakened Sauron’s ass. Heck, why not hand it to some Elf going back to the lands of Eru ? Surely \*HE \*wouldn’t be corrupted by it.
Also, I would have taught the Dwarves how to make and use muskets. Just because.
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### Author:  [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2010, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/29 "2010-02-03T23:38:08Z")
> [@Kobal2](#):
>
> I probably would have tossed the Ring at sea. Sure, it will probably be found again some decades or centuries later. Meaning (and this is important, so pay attention, Elrond) Men have some free, non-tempted-by-power time to kick weakened Sauron’s ass. Heck, why not hand it to some Elf going back to the lands of Eru ? Surely \*HE \*wouldn’t be corrupted by it.
Eru’s off in his Timeless Halls. Valinor is filled with the Valar and Maiar. They would have just sent it back.
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [February 3, 2010, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/30 "2010-02-03T23:39:22Z")
I would have . . . well, does Middle-Earth have girls’ locker rooms?
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### Author:  [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2010, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/31 "2010-02-04T00:30:58Z")
Personally, I’d’ve procrastinated heading off on any Quests until, oh, tomorrow. Maybe. And I’d hire a damn coach or something.
But as we’re supposed to consider how our modern sensibilities would screw up the quest… I want to know how the One Ring _works_.
Put it on and you’re invisible because you’re in the Other Side (as it were). Your clothes and items carried, likewise invisible. What happens when I pick stuff up, or drop it? It becomes visible, but how quickly? Slower if it’s been invisible longer? What if I pick up another _person_? What if I put the One Ring on an object – does it turn invisible? How about animals, then? What if I dump paint on somebody invisible from the One Ring, does the paint turn invisible? Are there things in the Other Side that you can’t see from the liminal world? (other than Ring-Wraiths, of course) Do different people wearing the One Ring report different experiences on the Other Side? Or of what they see of Sauron? If I give one of these people a ring that looks exactly like the One Ring, and just _tell_ them it is the One Ring, do they turn invisible?
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### Author:  [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2010, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/32 "2010-02-04T00:51:57Z")
Remember that Sauron didn’t turn invisible when he wore the ring. I’m not sure it’s inevitable. And yes, I’d be the type who’d want to study it, too. I’m also the type to be arrogant enough to think I could fix things. But I don’t know who I’d actually replace, seeing as I wouldn’t want to go in the first place. I’d probably be happiest being some hobbit that didn’t go with them, and never knew anything about it.
Of course, that would only work out in the movies.
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### Author:  [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/33 "2010-02-04T01:00:35Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#):
>
> Eru’s off in his Timeless Halls. Valinor is filled with the Valar and Maiar. They would have just sent it back.
Why ? The Valar specifically sent the Istari out to Middle Earth to counter Sauron’s wrongdoings, didn’t they ? So it’s not like they’re non-interventionists. The only reason they didn’t squash Sauron themselves was because they were afraid such a clash of titans would destroy Arda for good.
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### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/34 "2010-02-04T01:01:57Z")
Quoth **Qadgop the Mercotan** :
> [@](#):
>
> Me, I’d have gotten caught up in the Library of Rivendell, read all the books there, then would want to hit the library at the Grey Havens, and maybe see if there were any good books up in Fornost. Maybe visit the ruins of Annuminas, then pop down to Tharbad to catch some rays and go for a swim.
Much the same, here. I’d get caught up in Ring-lore so deeply that I wouldn’t have time for the actual quest. And since Saruman is the acknowledged expert on Ring-lore (well, other than Sauron, of course), I’d probably end up under his thrall.
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### Author:  [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2010, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/35 "2010-02-04T01:05:20Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#):
>
> I would have . . . well, does Middle-Earth have girls’ locker rooms?
You’ll have to share with **This\_Just\_In**.
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### Author:  [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/36 "2010-02-04T03:29:06Z")
> [@Oakminster](#):
>
> After I read the quest walkthrough on Allakhazam, I’d say the hell with it and go do some PVP instead.
😛
I’d take it, put it on, and go watch Arwen bathe. 😃
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### Author:  [@Telperion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperion)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2010, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/37 "2010-02-04T03:33:21Z")
Oh, that would be so very easy. Surely noone’s going to notice if I swipe just a tiny shard of the Narsil as a souvenir, right? And that drab black flag obviously needs a skull and crossbones to show the Army of the Dead who’s boss. We wouldn’t want them to think Aragorn is an anarchist or the guitarist of a 70’s punk pand, would we?
Coincidentally, I’d also be the first person in millenia to be forbidden from entering Gondor by royal decree.
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### Author:  [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2010, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/38 "2010-02-04T07:11:43Z")
> [@Kobal2](#):
>
> Why ? The Valar specifically sent the Istari out to Middle Earth to counter Sauron’s wrongdoings, didn’t they ? So it’s not like they’re non-interventionists. The only reason they didn’t squash Sauron themselves was because they were afraid such a clash of titans would destroy Arda for good.
It’s explicitly stated at the Council of Elrond that those who dwell beyond the Sea would not receive the Ring; it was Middle-Earth’s problem and there it had to stay.
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### Author:  [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2010, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/39 "2010-02-04T09:46:30Z")
I’d probably either try and weaponize it for use against Sauron (“this…is a gift!”), or advocate alternate disposal methods. Maybe even make a big show of _pretending_ to wield it or put it in a stronghold for safe keeping and attract the bulk of Sauron’s forces to the gates (aka, “Operation Whipping Boy”), while sending a fellowship out to Mordor with the Ring, unnoticed and unopposed.
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### Author:  [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2010, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/40 "2010-02-04T11:59:05Z")
I’d have sent it West, in a box marked, ‘For the personal attention of Aule’. A spell in his forge and a couple of taps of his hammer would sort the problem very quickly.
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