# How would you have screwed up the quest of the One Ring? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 3, 2010, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574 "2010-02-03T20:20:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/61 "2010-02-05T15:08:13Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Put Ring in pants pocket. Lose pants. I wonder what happens if you launder pants with the One Ring in the pocket? > [@salinqmind](#): > > I would lose it in the bottom of my purse (I swear, I put things in my purse and they disappear into another dimension somewhere). It would go wherever all the pens go from my purse. I have not figured out where this is. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/62 "2010-02-05T15:47:56Z")
If I washed the One Ring with my socks, it would have an approximately 40% chance of being irretrievably lost each time. And I could wash it several times, so forget that bothersome hike through Mordor! ---
**Author:** ![HorseloverFat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8e8cbc/32.png) [@HorseloverFat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HorseloverFat)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/63 "2010-02-05T16:10:18Z")
> [@](#): > > I used to play a live action War of the Ring game set in a large area of state park area. This is one of weirdest posts Ive read on this site. Any URLs or photos or anything? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/64 "2010-02-05T16:25:44Z")
"Eight companions? I’m supposed to be saving the entire world and all you guys are giving me is eight bodyguards? Screw that. I’m not playing _The Dirty Dozen_ here. I don’t want a small elite force sneaking into enemy territory. I want _The Longest Day_. We’re going to invade in force. Start mobilizing now. I want an army on my left, and army on my right, and about five armies in front of me. And a few more in reserve covering my back. We’re going to get a million troops together and we’re going to take Mordar. Then after we defeat Sauron and his army in battle, we’ll have a nice victory ceremony and I’ll drop the ring into the volcano in front of all the news cameras." ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/65 "2010-02-05T16:26:56Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Knowing me and that ring’s ability to resize itself, I think “unnatural act” best describes the outcome. I think Sauron needs to shower now. A lot. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/66 "2010-02-05T16:27:27Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > I’d take the whole “The One Ring can only be destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom” thing as a challenge… > > So, the Ring has a weakness to being melted down, lets fire up a forge as hot as possible and drop the ring in… > no luck? okay, try some other form of intense heat to melt down the Ring, dragon’s fire?, Balrog-smashing? no luck? > Okay, so the Ring seems to be resistant to these forms of heat-treating, lets conjure up a small tac-nuke and drop it on the Ring… > > Hmm, still nothing? well, lets look at it from a different angle, instead of melting down the Ring itself, let’s use Gold’s chemical properties against it, drop the Ring in some elemental Mercury and have it bond with the gold of the Ring to mask it’s “magical” ability, then melt some iron, add in some Carbon, and Chromium, to create some primitive Stainless Steel, pour the molten steel into a large crucible, drop the Ring in the molten steel, then let the steel block form with the ring inside, heat-treat/temper the mercury-infused Ring-in-the-block-of-stainless-steel, then drop the One Block into the Marinaris Trench (for more than ten minutes)… > > …where the One Block will most likely be found by the submerged Megatron, who will use the One Block to find the remnants of the AllSpark, and rise from the watery depths to wreak havoc on Earth, overthrow The Fallen, and turn the Earth into the new Borg Homeworld… > > …on second thought, just nuke it from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure The problem here is that the One Ring is not made of Gold (which has a fairly low melting point, in the Middle-Earth Universe as well as here), but rather, like seemingly virtually every other metal object in LOTR, of the ‘rare’ metal Mithril (chemical symbol Mr). Mithril was known to the Third Age only as the native element, which was av ailable only as a vein in Khazad-Dum. (Actually it’s a very common element in the MEU, but occurs mostly as the tightly-bound and difficult-to-refine sulphate and phosphates (Mr[sub]2[/sub]SO[sub]3[/sub] and Mr[sub]2[/sub]PO[sub]2[/sub], Mithrous sulphite and phosphite, and Mr[sub]3[/sub]SO[sub]4[/sub] and Mr[sub]3[/sub]PO[sub]3[/sub], Mithic sulphate and phosphate, the latter two commonly known as the _mithic 'phates_). Mithril’s melting point has never been directly established, and appears to vary with time and the requirements of JRRT’s plot. ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/67 "2010-02-05T18:42:38Z")
I’d be sitting in the Shire waiting for the flashbacks to stop. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/68 "2010-02-05T19:08:59Z")
Okay then, if “Mithril” has a higher melting point than gold, it may prove difficult to destroy, but how would it react to some of the more reactive elements like Mercury, which bonds effectively with gold (yes, I know Mithril is fictional, but if it did exist, how would it react to mercury) if that didn’t work, how about irradiating the ring with Gamma rays, perhaps the Gamma energy could disrupt the non-corporeal Sauron (either that or turn him into The Incredible Hulking Sauron, thus making matters even _worse_! SAURON SMASH PUNY HUMANS, ELVES, AND DWARVES!) hm, perhaps I’m a bit too wired on caffeine… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/69 "2010-02-05T19:42:09Z")
The Ring is described as “gold” or “golden” consistently, as I remember; nowhere is it said that it’s made of mithril. Even if it was actually gold, Au, its dark and immensely strong enchantments obviously included a charm against melting in anything other than the fires of Mount Doom. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/70 "2010-02-05T20:24:39Z")
Wandering carnival show. Destroy the Ring, win a Prize! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/71 "2010-02-05T21:16:56Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > The Ring is described as “gold” or “golden” consistently, as I remember; nowhere is it said that it’s made of mithril. Even if it was actually gold, Au, its dark and immensely strong enchantments obviously included a charm against melting in anything other than the fires of Mount Doom. I’m certain the Ring was gold. It’s always described as such, never as mithril. And when Gandalf tosses it in the fireplace as his final (and two-part) test of whether it is THE Ring, he says something to the effect that this little fire could not have melted even ordinary gold in such a situation, but Frodo’s bauble wasn’t even hot. This clearly implies that the Ring is a special sort of gold. Were I inclined to ponder such things (which, obviously, I am), I’d say that the enchantments woven about the Ring, allowing it to draw on the power of the Morgoth element in Arda, which was strongest and most concentrated at Orodruin and were responsible for the violence of the volcano. Tossing the Ring into the lava at Mount Doom caused the enchantment to break, and thus the spells making it virtually indestructible were no long in effect. From that point it was obviously no tougher than ordinary gold. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/72 "2010-02-06T00:05:39Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > I wonder what happens if you launder pants with the One Ring in the pocket? Duck Dodgers gets your dry cleaning by mistake, and whacky hijinks ensue? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/73 "2010-02-06T01:19:56Z")
Actually, it’s been my contention for a while that mithril is actually aluminum. Pure mithril is not as strong as steel; Bilbo’s mail coat is said to be an unspecified alloy of it. And the Elves were known to use mithril as an ingredient in synthetic gemstones (note: Ruby, sapphire, and several other gems are aluminum compounds) and other wondrous materials (like the moon-writing that Elrond reads on Thorin’s map). The fact that it can be alloyed implies that it can be melted, and the fact that it can be made into gemstones implies that it can take part in chemical reactions. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/74 "2010-02-06T01:31:00Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > I wonder what happens if you launder pants with the One Ring in the pocket? It makes your whites whiter and your brights brighter! Also your dryer becomes pure evil. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/75 "2010-02-06T01:44:41Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Actually, it’s been my contention for a while that mithril is actually aluminum. Really? I always figured it was Titanium. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/76 "2010-02-06T02:35:10Z")
I’m pretty shy, especially when it comes to meeting new people/species in unfamiliar circumstances, so I probably wouldn’t have been able to leave the Shire in the first place. I mean, I have to go find _who_ now? And they live _where?_ And I could really, actually _ **die** _ doing this?! Yeeah, no. Sam will be fine without me. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/77 "2010-02-06T02:39:59Z")
I would have probably lost it after drinking too much and getting tossed out of the Prancing Pony. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/78 "2010-02-06T03:34:04Z")
> [@](#): > > Knowing me and that ring’s ability to resize itself, I think “unnatural act” best describes the outcome. [Roll film](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPhGXZaLCZE) ---
**Author:** ![CHEN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3d9bf3/32.png) [@CHEN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CHEN)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/79 "2010-02-06T03:51:43Z")
I’d long-range catapult the thing into Mordor 😛 That would maybe fail spectacularly. edit: Morder-\> Mordor ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574/80 "2010-02-06T05:03:58Z")
> [@CHEN](#): > > I’d long-range catapult the thing into Mordor 😛 > > That would maybe fail spectacularly. [You wouldn’t be the first.](http://www.maximumawesome.com/section2/catapult1.htm) Or the [last.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=439793) 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-have-screwed-up-the-quest-of-the-one-ring/527574.md?page=5)