# How would you like me to snap that middle finger off and feed it to you, asshole? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 19, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402 "2009-10-19T22:28:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/1 "2009-10-19T22:28:21Z")
Listen. Laying on your horn and flipping me off is not going to make me move faster. The light, when nonfunctional, reverts to being a stop sign. That means that the two cars who stopped at their respective lines before me get to go before I do. I know you want to just jet out in the middle of the intersection and be about your obviously vastly important business, and truthfully, there’s a small part of me that wouldn’t mind seeing you rush out and promptly get T-boned by a delivery truck. But unlike you, I didn’t receive my driver’s license in a McDonald’s Happy Meal. Thanks for making my afternoon commute that much more unpleasant. If you’d care to step out and back up your blustering, I’ll be happy to make yours even more so. Fuck. You. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/2 "2009-10-19T22:48:51Z")
I wouldn’t like that at all. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/3 "2009-10-19T22:50:41Z")
What these assholes must not realize is that their behavior inevitably leads to people in front of them slowing down a bit because they are being made to feel nervous. When I get a jerk like this behind me, I usually make my stop last a bit longer and look around to make sure I’m safe. It’s not because I want to be a jerk back - rather it is because the honker/fingerer is making me feel like I don’t want to rush things, and get into an accident. ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/4 "2009-10-19T22:52:51Z")
They must have assumed they have the magic finger or something. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/5 "2009-10-19T22:53:42Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > What these assholes must not realize is that their behavior inevitably leads to people in front of them slowing down a bit because they are being made to feel nervous. When I get a jerk like this behind me, I usually make my stop last a bit longer and look around to make sure I’m safe. It’s not because I want to be a jerk back - rather it is because the honker/fingerer is making me feel like I don’t want to rush things, and get into an accident. No kidding. If there aint a reason for the honking, I’ve been known to actually stop the car for a bit. Made one guy sit through a complete light cycle (he was the only one behind me btw). ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/6 "2009-10-19T23:17:50Z")
Don’t snap it off for him. Hand him side-cutters and make him remove it himself. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/7 "2009-10-20T02:10:31Z")
OK, now that I’ve calmed down, let me apologize for all the internet-tough-guy machismo. There was a time in my life when I might have seriously considered following though with it, but these days, I just vent on the internet instead. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/8 "2009-10-20T02:34:46Z")
I always feel that I need to “stop for two” in such cases. ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/9 "2009-10-20T05:23:46Z")
There’s a decent thread related payoff at 0:37 of this video: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/NfYZ_95AyhM/hqdefault.jpg "Insane Clown Posse - How Many Times (Truly Uncensored)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfYZ_95AyhM) ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/10 "2009-10-20T12:30:02Z")
I find that the best way to combat rude people behind me at an intersection is to take a deep breath and then put the truck into reverse. The subtext, of course, is "Keep honking, fucker. It will only take me a second to back up and put this pintle hook through your windshield. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/11 "2009-10-20T17:59:58Z")
Oh Yea?!?!!?! You and who’s army? ---
**Author:** ![moonstarssun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@moonstarssun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moonstarssun)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/12 "2009-10-20T22:18:21Z")
mmmm…tasty fingers… ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/13 "2009-10-20T23:05:23Z")
Please tell me you didn’t text the OP while driving. ---
**Author:** ![jujuju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@jujuju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jujuju)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2009, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/14 "2009-10-22T15:18:15Z")
> [@Bookkeeper](#): > > I always feel that I need to “stop for two” in such cases. “stop for two” - Beers? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/15 "2009-10-22T22:58:06Z")
While we’re here, can we review the law on what those flashing red/yellow lights mean? Flashing red - treat it as a stop sign. All stop sign rules apply. Flashing yellow - Slow down but otherwise treat it like a green light. You don’t have to stop at a flashing yellow light, unless, you know, there’s a pedestrian in front of you or something. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2009, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/16 "2009-10-22T23:31:30Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Don’t snap it off for him. Hand him side-cutters and make him remove it himself. I vote let him drive past you into the intersection & let the EMTs ‘jaws of life’ decide what fingers stay & what fingers go. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/17 "2009-10-23T00:22:55Z")
\ It took me a while, but I’ve finally managed to impose a “no flipping people” off rule on Mrs. Giraffe. Her argument was that she only flipped people off when they were being assholes. My argument was that Bay Area rush hour traffic turns people into sociopaths and that road-raging assholes are really not worth antagonizing just because you have Truth on your side. I suspect she still does it and just doesn’t tell me about it, but at least she’s doing it less. \ Oh, and screw you, OP. Just because you’re following the traffic rules doesn’t mean I don’t get to honk at you and flip you off. That’s my god-given right as an American, goddamn it. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/18 "2009-10-23T01:30:42Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > managed to impose a “no flipping people” off rule on Mrs. Giraffe. > . . . > Just because you’re following the traffic rules doesn’t mean I don’t get to honk at you and flip you off. That’s my god-given right as an American, goddamn it. I must have missed something here. You’ve imposed a rule on your wife NOT to do something that you feel is your god-given right? :dubious: I’m guessing you’re joking on one side or the other of that, but I can’t decide which side. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/19 "2009-10-23T07:28:23Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > I must have missed something here. You’ve imposed a rule on your wife NOT to do something that you feel is your god-given right? :dubious: > > I’m guessing you’re joking on one side or the other of that, but I can’t decide which side. More on the latter side. I was trying to be topical. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402/20 "2009-10-23T14:48:22Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > More on the latter side. I was trying to be topical. That’s silly. Giraffe’s are tRopical. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-like-me-to-snap-that-middle-finger-off-and-feed-it-to-you-asshole/514402.md?page=2)