Everyone always seems to think their current life is the result of major decisions they made when they were 18. I wonder how much is the result of relatively mundane decisions they don’t even know about. Today I’ll go to Starbucks to get coffee. I think I’ll buy the red tie instead of the blue one. Shit like that.
I don’t really have any specific complaints though. At least not beyond the sort of vague “I don’t know what I REALLY want to do so I guess I’ll just do this” feelings I suppose a lot of people have.
You know, one of the maddening games I play with myself is trying to trace something significant to my life back to an insignificant decision. For example, I do this with my marriage. I met my spouse in Vegas. We were both there to attend a convention for a magazine. It’s a fairly obscure magazine, so what if I’d never heard of it? Funny enough, I discovered the mag because someone here on the SDMB linked to an article. Then I ask, what if I never read the SDMB? What if after when my friend introduced me to Mr. Adams and the Straight Dope, I never bothered to tinker around with the message board. What if I never met that friend? Well, I met her in high school, but I never would have if I hadn’t gotten kicked out of my old school for being a giant pain in the ass. What silly decision did I make in my life at some point that led to this string of events?
Would I have discovered the SDMB anyway? Or the magazine that led to the convention some other way? Would I have spoken to him? Maybe, but I’m certain the end result would have been different.
I often think that if I was able to travel back in time to my own body quasi-Quantum Leap-style, it would be at the cost of my children. Assuming I could still charm and marry the same woman, there’s no way I could reproduce the exact moment of conception – even if I memorized the hour, day, and minute; my children would be entirely different people.
For me I just know that leaving school saddled with the debt I had from college, there were a lot of things I simply couldn’t experience. Uncle Sam doesn’t give you much a leash with those student loans. So I went straight into a job that I knew would pay the bills. I spent my last semester of college abroad. There were numerous opportunities for me to stay over there. But I also knew that none of those opportunities would cover my loan payments. So I returned and worked in a shit job until I could get into grad school and defer my payments even further into the future.
Woulda tried to get on the fire dept back in my 20’s, then I’d be lookin at retirement with 1/2 pay for life right about now. Obviously, assuming everything worked out. Instead sorta drifted into a job I’m not crazy about, but don’t know what else to do. Just had no idea what I wanted then. Still feel a flash of envy/regret when I see a fire truck go by! Too old to pursue that now, maybe in my next life!
Also Prolly woulda fought harder to hold onto a coupla different women who, looking back, were pretty spcecial. But naw, plenty 'o fish in the sea, said I! Yeah, my head was up my ass. :smack: But hey, it all happens for a reason right, blah blah blah. Bartender, when ya get a chance?
I can’t guarantee that it would change the eventual decisions that I would have made, but I would have made an effort to travel more (specifically, internationally) when I was younger. It’s not so much that I would change the life that I have so much, just that I would have taken the chance to do it while I was young. I’ll never have the chance to do something like study abroad now and I wish I’d done so in college.
I’d go to work for the Census Bureau right out of college (which simply never occurred to me at the time), rather than starting work here in my mid-40s. I’ve had a great time working here so far; I only wish I’d started earlier. Plus, even if I took the same time out for grad school as I did anyway, I’d be about 14 years closer to retirement.
I’d have taken more initiative romantically during my single days. I definitely left some opportunities sitting on the table, so to speak. They probably wouldn’t have led to anything permanent, but it would have been a bit more good times along the way.
I’d have traveled a lot more during my single years.
I was thinking about this lately and I came to the conclusion that I would live close to my family. I left home at 17 and have spent most of the succeeding 40 years living in a different state from my parents (when they were alive) and my siblings.
I’ve recently realized that I would be much happier around my family members, even if they live in weird places (where ‘weird places’ = not coastal California).
Also, I would get treatment for the ADD earlier. And go to college. Maybe even finish college.
Exercise more consistently. I have spent the last two years of my life getting in some sort of shape - it is pretty hard work after 40. I wish I had got and kept in shape from my twenties.
