# How would you punish Osama bin Laden?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [October 27, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526 "2004-10-27T19:55:36Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/21 "2004-10-28T00:10:28Z")
make him try to open a coffee shop in fort worth texas. After what I’ve been going through with the city, I know for sure he would be getting what he deserves.
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### Author:  [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/22 "2004-10-28T00:58:05Z")
Darn, aren’t we the SDMB - which possibly has the cleverest membership on the Internet? AND since this is the BBQ Pit are these the _best_ punishments we can devise?
Well I for one am willing to raise the punishment quotient a few notches.
Hmmm let me think. Some have suggested the death penalty? Too quick and merciful. Locking him away so he fades into obscurity? No. The punishment should be public and prolonged.
How about breaking his kneecaps with a length of pipe? Then feed him a steady diet of sausage, roast pork, boiled ham, etc. And after a certain amount of time (weeks, even months) break both his wrists. This should be televised of course and be made available for ALL the world to see. And after a few months maybe break his legs at the tibia. Again televise that too - along with commentary such as … “Are you thinking about being a terrorist? There’s NO guarantee you’re going to get the 72 virgins. HOWEVER, you can be sure _this_ awaits you.”
Hey didn’t the Romans crucify the surviving slaves from the unsuccessufl revolt started by Spartucus? I believe they were displayed prominently along the Roman roads for all to see AND were literally left there to rot.
Sure I might sound bitter, angry and possibly deranged but think about the WTC occupants being burned alive and those that had to jump off the WTC or be burned alive. You want to commit barbaric acts? Be prepared to be treated as such. If nothing else, I hope I have encouraged others to come up with some appropriate punishments - and please don’t be as lenient as I was.
Hey this is the BBQ Pit !!!
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### Author:  [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/23 "2004-10-28T01:33:25Z")
Yeah, 'cause like, civilized Westerners engaging in state sanctioned torture in violation of our base principles _really_ alleviates the pain and suffering experienced by the families of the victims _and_ bring them back from the dead.
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### Author:  [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/24 "2004-10-28T01:49:30Z")
One one hand, I’d like to see OBL suffer, but that won’t undo the evil he has caused, funded or supported.
A single shot to the temple. That won’t undo anything either, but that’s what he deserves.
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### Author:  [@keturah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keturah)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/25 "2004-10-28T02:09:19Z")
> [@MLS](#):
>
> I’m with the “grey room” method, similar to what Mark Torque has suggested.
>
> It’s an enhanced solitary confinement. The room is small and entirely grey: walls, ceiling, floor. The walls are impermeable and soundproof. It has a toilet and a sleeping shelf. The room has no windows. It is kept at a constant temperature, say 65 degrees Fahrenheit. The light is always the same, too. The light is constant as well. The only visible feature is the peephole through which a video camera keeps a 24/7/365 eye on him. The film is maintained and monitored so it can be proven that he is not being beaten or used for medical experiments, but no word of his condition is ever revealed to the outside world.
>
> Food is pushed in through a slot, has sufficient calories and nutrients, but is bland and exactly the same at every single meal, served twice a day. Once in a while he is required to move into an adjacent grey room while the area is hosed down. He has no reading matter and absolutely nothing to do.
>
> I have not yet decided if the criminal gets medical treatment or not. He would not be likely to contract any communicable diseases, since he has no human contact, but I suppose he might get cancer or some other malady, and I’m not sure if those would be treated or not. Certainly any self-inflicted wounds would not be treated.
>
> The whole experience would be sort of like being dead. Or the numb grey feeling you have when a couple of buildings have fallen on your child or your spouse or your parent.
I am not against the idea of a glass cell at ground zero. Similar circumstances to your idea but, he can see and be seen. In my vision he does not recieve medical treatment and would not be able to harm himself. I envision 4 corner restraints, a feeding tube, and a hammock that he falls into when he is overcome with exertion.
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### Author:  [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/26 "2004-10-28T02:10:34Z")
Can anyone tell me what OBL has done that GWB hasn’t done? Seriously?
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/27 "2004-10-28T02:11:37Z")
Yeah, wow, ooh, something really nasty, after all, it was getting lonely up there on that moral high ground.
:rolleyes: Does desiring to torture an evil person make you more, or less like him yourself. More, I think (even if only a little)
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### Author:  [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/28 "2004-10-28T02:22:12Z")
The answer depends on how he is captured. The most fortuitous is that he is captured quietly; the best punishment in this case is to have loyal marines chuck him in the incinerater. Maybe ring out a few moderate video tape sermons beforehand. Then issue a press statement that Osama is confirmed “on the run”.
Or is squeezing his balls more useful?
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### Author:  [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/29 "2004-10-28T02:22:25Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#):
>
> Can anyone tell me what OBL has done that GWB hasn’t done? Seriously?
Put himself in harm’s way during a war?
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### Author:  [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/30 "2004-10-28T02:27:17Z")
Not to be a douche or anything…
…but shouldn’t OBL actually be proven guilty of something first?
And if he is proven guilty he should be given some sort of humane confinement, complete with whatever medical treament he requires, until he expires of natural causes. That is the same punishment that I would desire for any other murderer.
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### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/31 "2004-10-28T02:32:10Z")
Force him to debate religion and politics on the SDMB.
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### Author:  [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/32 "2004-10-28T02:38:25Z")
two ideas;
the evil and tastless idea; infect him with Ebola Zaire, put him in a Biosafety level 4 slammer and let him dissolve into a puddle of goo, while he’s still able to eat, the only food he can eat will be foods forbidden by his religion, nothing more, oh, and they’d be raw, if the Ebola doesn’t get him first, the Trichinosis will…
the Star Trek idea; implant a chip in his head which plays back (simulated) experiences of the people on the planes and in the towers and Pentagon, each day he experiences a different victim’s last moments of life, the experience replays every 2 hours and there is no way to stop it
he’ll probably try to end up killing himself to escape the experiences, but there’d be nothing for him to use to off himself
this idea also makes use of the bland food and water idea
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### Author:  [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/33 "2004-10-28T02:41:25Z")
In jail, for a very very long life, with the ability to watch as his version of islam is marginalized and eventually laughed at as a foolish relic, as time passes.
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### Author:  [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/34 "2004-10-28T02:43:53Z")
Me, I’m not sure what I’d want to do to him, but whatever it is should turn him into a real martyr whose memory can be used to recruit thousands of new angry youth to the role of terrorist.
Oh–wait, no, that’s a really fucking stupid idea. However satisfying revenge is, we’re in a war here, or haven’t you noticed? And your bloodthirst has got to play second fiddle to the need to **not offer aid and comfort to the enemy**.
How do you withhold aid and comfort from an enemy who wants to be martyred? You refuse to play along.
Give him prison time. Protect him from the other prisoners. Never let him out. But make it clear to the world that the US is making a real effort to be the better country, that Abu Ghraib is something we repudiate, that we want to behave ethically toward everyone, that we believe in human rights wholeheartedly.
On a side note, I read a story awhile ago about Timothy McVeigh’s execution, in which the idea was that McVeigh was cloned 168 (?) times, once for each of his victims, and one clone was given to the family of each victim, with the sole proviso being that they had to return the corpse to the government at the end of a month. It was a chilling story; has anyone else read it?
Daniel
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### Author:  [@MrFantsyPants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrFantsyPants)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/35 "2004-10-28T02:48:29Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#):
>
> Can anyone tell me what OBL has done that GWB hasn’t done? Seriously?
What’s he got to do with it? A similar thread could be started for GWB, but that’d keep the secret service way too busy.
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### Author:  [@MMI](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MMI)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/36 "2004-10-28T02:50:08Z")
I think the reeducation idea is the only one that qualifies as punishment, rather than vengeance. So long as his mind is intact his martyrdom will just self-justify his actions even more and after his mind is gone there is no point. If one could teach him that, within the tenets of his own faith, his actions included evil of such enormity then I think that minimalist incarceration, leaving him alone wihth his history would suffice as punishment (though patheric as catalyst for catharsis for us).
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### Author:  [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/37 "2004-10-28T03:01:01Z")
I’d put him in the same jail cell as Bush ! 😃
Maybe torture him by making **fake** video about elections in Iraq being sucessful with a non-Islamic female moderate winning the elections !
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### Author:  [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/38 "2004-10-28T03:24:56Z")
First I’d give him his 72 virgins (all male) and then I’d send him unceremoniously to his death by never revealing what happened.
Or, I’d give him a sex change operation and dump his naked, tequila soaked body in front of a Mosque in Saudi Arabia during Ramadan with a tattoo of Madonna on his ass.
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### Author:  [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/39 "2004-10-28T03:25:15Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _NoClueBoy said:_
> Force him to debate religion and politics on the SDMB.
We do need more conservatives.
😉
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### Author:  [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-punish-osama-bin-laden/271526/40 "2004-10-28T03:27:21Z")
Life in prison. Just another number on a set of prison issue duds. Working his life away in the prison laundy room, nearly anonymous. Forgotten by everyone.
But that’ll never happen.
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