# How would you react if your pastor did this? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2013, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717 "2013-07-05T14:03:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/21 "2013-07-05T19:16:54Z")
I’d be more shocked by my being in a church, than anything the pastor was saying. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/22 "2013-07-05T19:32:03Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > What is going on with Oklahoma? Are they trying to compete with Florida and Arizona? Tulsa area has always been weird. [Remember that hostage situation?](http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1677098,00.html) ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/23 "2013-07-05T21:53:36Z")
At first he was just the standard fatherly southern preacher. But the discussion of whether to marry a couple who aren’t committed members of the church should be held in private. And the whole “if you submitted tome” thing just brings it into crazy scary territory. Clearly he’s the type who believes a preacher should have complete authority in the church. IMO that’s not healthy for anybody. Also, the suggestion that he’ll just find a small backwoods ---
**Author:** ![the\_apples\_fell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@the\_apples\_fell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_apples_fell)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/24 "2013-07-05T21:57:36Z")
I’m not religious but if I was in that position I’d just never go back. Wouldn’t want to be around someone who can snap so easily like that especially in a position where he could humiliate me in front of a lot of people. ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/25 "2013-07-06T03:03:04Z")
> [@Matt37](#): > > Being an atheist has its distinct advantages, the first and foremost of those being not having to deal with the rank hypocrisy and utter BS espoused by the various religions. So, fortunately, I’d never encounter this kind of garbage. Quite frankly, I’m not even sure how most people take this stuff seriously. This is one of the greatest posts I’ve ever read. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/26 "2013-07-06T05:48:17Z")
Leave the service immediately and make an effort to have the pastor expelled. If that fails, I’d leave the church. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/27 "2013-07-06T06:18:43Z")
Closest I’ve ever seen was a priest in church (a Catholic church in Oklahoma, which probably narrows it down to like, one of three churches) calling out me and a girl I was sitting next to for chatting during Mass (guilty), and someone else for eating an apple during the same period (you get your munchies taken care of before and after Mass, not during the service itself, for the same reason that many teachers frown upon folks chowing down during a class lecture). He wasn’t abusive about it, he just walked down from the altar, got our attention, and told us to stop and pay attention during his services. On another occasion, he made a general announcement that mothers with children prone to crying or fussing during Mass should use the room set aside for that (soundproofed room behind the main room, with a big viewing window so they could see what was happening, and a PA speaker set up so they could hear the sermon) He also had the clock taken down from the back of the room, because he was tired of looking the back of the Congregation’s heads while he was sermonizing. He was a pretty cool and laid back priest, for the most part, just very strict about how you behaved during Mass. Just for kicks and giggles, if this isn’t too much of a hijack, I’m curious if folks would react differently if this were, say, a teacher in a classroom, or a boss during a meeting, or an NCO or officer addressing a formation of troops (actually, for that last category, I’d only seen it happen in Basic and during technical training, and the correct response was “Shut up and stand at attention”) ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/28 "2013-07-06T12:32:39Z")
I’d be worried that my pastor had dementia or something else wrong with his brain, and support the offering next week going to help get him treatment, as well as the prayer service that would convene sometime during the week. My pastor is probably the sweetest old man you’ll ever meet. I did have a preacher call me out in service once when I was a kid, but it was because I was in the front row and standing up, blocking other people’s view. (I’ve always been a BigT.) Nowadays, I prefer the more gentle approach, but I’m okay with it. My uncle also never went back to a church because he was singled out by a pastor once. So it does happen. ---
**Author:** ![Fir\_na\_tine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fir\_na\_tine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fir_na_tine)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/29 "2013-07-06T16:21:07Z")
> [@Accidental\_Martyr](#): > > This is one of the greatest posts I’ve ever read. 🙂 Amen, brother, amen. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/30 "2013-07-06T16:39:34Z")
I’d be finding another church … yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/31 "2013-07-06T18:13:08Z")
That’s some industrial strength, weapon’s grade stupidity right there. If I’d ever been in a church in the first place, I’d damn well have said something, then stood up and left. I can’t believe what a grandiose level of arrogance that cretin has. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/32 "2013-07-06T18:32:57Z")
Agreed. Time for the Church board to hire a new pastor. My pastors have been known to make home visits. “We missed you. Is everything ok?” It’s never confrontational. Sometimes older members stop driving and need a ride to Church. Or they’ve been ill and couldn’t attend. Even just a phone call makes sense when a regular member stops attending. > [@Crotalus](#): > > If my church didn’t start an immediate search for a new pastor, I’d start a search for a new church. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/33 "2013-07-06T19:20:46Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Probably just stare in absolute shock, because I cannot imagine a priest doing such a thing during Mass. It’d be a major WTF, like has he been drinking too much Communion wine? I’ve known quite a few priests who actually DID dip into the communion wine fairly indiscriminately and they never did anything like this. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/34 "2013-07-06T19:49:50Z")
We don’t “submit” to out pastor in my church. If I was subjected to any of the breaches you mention, I would be outta there. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/35 "2013-07-06T20:42:07Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I’d be worried that my pastor had dementia or something else wrong with his brain, and support the offering next week going to help get him treatment, as well as the prayer service that would convene sometime during the week. My response to the OP was that first I’d pray for him. The church I belong to doesn’t have ordained clergy. Services are conducted by lay readers and the church business is all handled democratically. And our by-laws reference the same verses from Matthew that Shodan shared. So, in the moment I’d pray. Then I’d likely be called on to take the minutes at the emergency board meeting called to appoint a substitute. The event itself wouldn’t make me leave and never go back, but how it’s handled might. Christianity calls on us to forgive, so if he took a nice recuperative leave and came back expressing deep repentance, and made apologies acceptable to the folks he hurt I’d support his return. If I was a member of that guy’s church how I’d proceed would depend on how I felt about him leading up to the event. If my reaction was “well, we all knew he’d snap eventually. It was just a matter of when” I’d have to question why I hadn’t sought another congregation sooner. If it was “What happened to Jim?!? He appears to be losing his mind right in front of me. This isn’t like him at all” I’d do what I could to stay and support progress whether that was Jim getting help or being on the search committee for his replacement. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/36 "2013-07-06T20:46:06Z")
If it was me, I’d be looking for a shrink to help me understand how I ended up paying any attention to a priest, let alone calling him “mine”. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/37 "2013-07-06T20:49:26Z")
I am not religious or go to a Church but if it had happened to me I would have done something awesome that showed off my free thinking and resistance to authority. Yup. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/38 "2013-07-06T20:50:34Z")
Judas Priest is Hell Bent for Leather. Just sayin… ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/39 "2013-07-06T20:54:00Z")
> [@gwendee](#): > > The event itself wouldn’t make me leave and never go back, but how it’s handled might. Christianity calls on us to forgive, so if he took a nice recuperative leave and came back expressing deep repentance, and made apologies acceptable to the folks he hurt I’d support his return. > > If I was a member of that guy’s church how I’d proceed would depend on how I felt about him leading up to the event. If my reaction was “well, we all knew he’d snap eventually. It was just a matter of when” I’d have to question why I hadn’t sought another congregation sooner. If it was “What happened to Jim?!? He appears to be losing his mind right in front of me. This isn’t like him at all” I’d do what I could to stay and support progress whether that was Jim getting help or being on the search committee for his replacement. Wouldn’t it also matter how the rest of the congregation felt? You can hear the “amens” in that video. Perhaps these were automatic responses from people who didn’t really know what was going on. But I’m guessing a lot of his congregation would come to this pastor’s defense, especially now after the heathen masses have lambasted him. The reaction of the congregation would inform my decision more than anything else. Even if the pastor apologized and made amends, I’d have a problem staying with that church if there wasn’t a critical mass of congregants who thought he’d done wrong. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717/40 "2013-07-06T21:08:15Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > Just for kicks and giggles, if this isn’t too much of a hijack, I’m curious if folks would react differently if this were, say, a teacher in a classroom, or a boss during a meeting, or an NCO or officer addressing a formation of troops (actually, for that last category, I’d only seen it happen in Basic and during technical training, and the correct response was “Shut up and stand at attention”) Ministers are held to a different standard of decorum than other types of leaders. They are supposed to model Christ-like behavior, especially when they are up on the pulpit. People are used to being berated at school and in the workplace. They go to church to get away from that kind of abuse. And church attendance is 100% voluntary when you are a grown person. People will tolerate some asshole boss yelling at them because no one wants to be fired. But people sacrifice their leisure time to go to church. They pay the preacherman–he isn’t paying _them_. So apart from the “Christ-like” stuff, people don’t expect to be treated any ole way when they go to church. At the bare minimum, they should be welcomed for making the effort to come. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-react-if-your-pastor-did-this/662717.md?page=3)