Basketball:
Throw a punch, sit fifteen minutes. This rolls over into the next quarter. even the next game. Do it again, you’re ejected, plus pay three games’ salary to the player you hit.
In the last 3 minutes on the clock, forget foul shots. Add points as if the shots had been made, then resume play.
In the last quarter, time-outs cost points.
Baseball:
If a batter steps out to adjust his batting gloves more than once in an atbat, he must bat without them.
If a batter stops the game to adjust his jersey, he must bat without it.
Unless the field is muddy, no batter may pause to knock the dirt off his cleats.
Without a throw to a base, the pitcher must pick and throw a pitch within 25 seconds. The pitch clock stops for time-outs.
A batter may wear approved armor, but if a pitch hits the armor (except for the helmet,) he may not take a base for it.
When the third and subsequent pitcher(s) are called in for a team, the opposing manager may change his batting order while the new hurler warms up.
The commissioner must finally nail down the definition of the balk. The new definition cannot include “deceive the runner.” Deceit is, after all, the goal of a pitcher. The pitcher may not use rabbits, doves, scarves, or playing cards in his deceit.
When a player is ejected for offenses against a umpire, the current custom is that the manager also must abuse the umpire until he is thrown out. Skip that step. Simply throw out the player and his manager in one call.