# How would \*you\* use Peon Tablets? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 23, 2002, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303 "2002-09-23T17:29:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/1 "2002-09-23T17:29:13Z")
I’m up late tonight re-writing my boss’s translation of a drug company’s corporate report, and I’ve come across one of the dumbest-sounding names for a medication: **Peon Tablets**. According to my information, it’s a “non-steroid type painkiller/anti-phlogistic agent”, which I think means that it prevents you from catching fire. I’ll have to check that at work tomorrow. Anyway, the name ‘Peon Tablets’ just conjures up some odd imagery (put them in the office coffeemaker to keep your employees working contentedly?), so of course I had to ask my fellow Dopers: If you had a bottle marked ‘Peon Tablets’, what would you expect them to do? Btw, the same company also makes products named **Lovetoppy** and **Healthan Guts**. I swear I had nothing to do with either of these. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/2 "2002-09-23T17:52:05Z")
I’d give Paula Abdul a handful and lay down on the floor in front of her. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/3 "2002-09-23T17:54:44Z")
I’d pee on 'em. I’m fired, aren’t I? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/4 "2002-09-23T18:13:51Z")
Are these sold in conjunction with the Shitin Capsule? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/5 "2002-09-23T18:16:55Z")
I think they’re more specific than your suggestion–I think they keep you from catching fire while you’re lifting weights. **Peon tablets** are more likely something like Soma from Brave New World–they keep the lower classes happy in their place, glad to be, well, peons. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/6 "2002-09-23T18:25:37Z")
I’d probably use them as filler in a shipping…noooo, on second thought, probably not(too many chances for misunderstanding). I’d bet that’s all they’re good for though. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/7 "2002-09-23T18:26:48Z")
There’s Pissant Pills if you’d rather go generic. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/8 "2002-09-23T18:27:04Z")
After a moments thought, you could make a good cocktail with Peon, Lovetoppy and Healthan Guts (which kind of sounds like a hyped up name for a breakfast cereal). ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/9 "2002-09-23T18:48:29Z")
The product names just keep getting better and better. From the same company: **Reptilase** **Cytokarma** **Hi Jelly Powder in Stick** (just the thing for those “not so fresh” days). ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/10 "2002-09-23T19:06:54Z")
Sheesh, I’ll just stick with my Crack Cream. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/11 "2002-09-23T19:11:42Z")
You just add water and there ya go! Peons to do your bidding! ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/12 "2002-09-23T19:20:04Z")
:helpless with laughter!!: \*\* Sublight \*\*, you have brightened my day. Are those names real?? And I thought \*\* Flonase \*\* was bad. Peon tablets don’t keep the old peons happy, they make new ones! Just add water. The easiest way to do this is to put a couple of tables (not too many!) in the bathtub, and turn on the tap. In just a few moments they have transformed into peons, ready to do your bidding! I can’t work out \*\* Healthan Guts \*\* though. I keep thinking its Heathen Gluts. Which doesn’t actually make any \* less \* sense… Kn(Hissssssss - oops, time for my \*\* Reptilase \*\* !)ckers ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/13 "2002-09-23T19:21:14Z")
Shoot! \*\* Athena \*\* beat me! ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/14 "2002-09-23T19:33:47Z")
All I know is, I don’t care how good it is, I’m not taking any medication that calls itself **Nasalcrom**. ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/15 "2002-09-23T19:48:23Z")
Heeheehee! ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/16 "2002-09-23T23:21:04Z")
**Sublight** : The Japanese _do_ have a way with names, do they not? Tell me, have you ever sampled Pocari Sweat? If I ever make it to Nihon, tasting that oddly-named nectar will certainly be on my list. 😃 **Peon Tablets** sound like soma to me, as well. I suppose they make flame-retardant servants who don’t feel much pain. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/17 "2002-09-24T03:45:39Z")
Yep, they’re all real. And I’ve got to make this company look competent to overseas investors somehow. **Derleth** , Pocari Sweat’s not bad, actually. It’s a Gatorade (and if you want weird names, how about _that_ one?)-type grapefruit-flavored drink that tastes kind of like non-carbonated Fresca. The all-time champion bad name, however, has to go to **Creap** coffee creamer. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/18 "2002-09-24T07:34:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by h.sapiens \* > \*\*All I know is, I don’t care how good it is, I’m not taking any medication that calls itself **Nasalcrom**. \*\* But, but, it’s a perfectly _cromulent_ nasal spray! ---
**Author:** ![privard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e8c25b/32.png) [@privard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/privard)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2002, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/19 "2002-10-19T14:12:14Z")
Before I moved to Japan, there was a commercial running for the product to use when you had an itch in “a place so personal you can only talk about it with your doctor.” The ad made a big deal about not mentioning the part of the body. For crying out loud, don’t play delicate and tasteful: the name of the product was ANUSol! But, yes, Japan does beat us Americans hands down in product names: the aforementioned Pocari Sweat, the legendary Creap (artificial creamer for coffee), Asse and Chocolate Collon candies, and the Toyota Emena (say it three times fast if you don’t see the problem). And that’s just off the top of my head. The mascots are as good as the names, though. Check out the cosmetic surgery ads (clipped from a Community Shopper-type mailer called “Famiry”) at [http://www.peterrivard.com/Pages/badv.html](http://www.peterrivard.com/Pages/badv.html) ---
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2002, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303/20 "2002-10-19T17:20:43Z")
All you can eat at [www.Engrish.com](http://www.Engrish.com) Did I mention I might finally be getting to my soul-country next year?! **faints** [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-use-peon-tablets/129303.md?page=2)