Citizen Wayne has liscensing issues.
There was a skit that was a parody of Citizen Kane with that name.
He looks in the mirrors and says “Why am I wearing thse stupid tights?”
And then goes out and picks up a hot babe and has sex with her all night in order to reinforce his heterosexuality.
Geeze, alot of Batman-haters in here.
Really, if I was asked to write the end of Batman (“Whatever Happened to the Dark Knight”?), I’d make it a Trypich.
-
Failure. Batman comes to teh realization that, coustumed thugs aside, Gotham is as bad as it ever was. Consumed by his inner-demons, Batman is killed by a stray shot by a random thug. His last thoughts our of how much his killer looks like the guy who shot his parents.
-
Martyrdom. A battle Royale for Gotham. Batman and the Joker finally kill one another, as they always knew they would.
-
Victory. Forty years in the future, Gotham is almost totally devoid of crime. Tim Drake is Comissioner of police. A few costumed vigilantes handle what the police can’t, but they’re a lighter group tahn Batman. Dying of natural cuases in his bed. Bruce thinks back to how he beat his greatest foes, and how he saved the rest. He’s done now. He can join his parents.
One of his control-freak mind games against Terry McGinnis (BATMAN BEYOND) results in Terry being halfway across the country as Inque infiltrates the Batcave, kills Wayne, and starts sending McGinnis fake instructions. By the time Terry catches on, it’s too late. Bruce Wayne is dead.
I have issues with authority figures.
This one is excellent. Depressing, but excellent.
Why be so depressing? I like the idea of Bats riding off into the sunset with Selina Kyle.
Run him over with a beer truck.
Bud Light.
Wow. Fibber Mcgee’s view of ol’ batty Bats is amazingly close to my own. Am I left with nothing to say?
OK, here’s a variation: Ol’ Bats becomes useless &/or persona non grata in Gotham, as a new mayor & police commissioner start encouraging their officers to use their guns on the freaks, acting like cops instead of bystanders. Heck, being a freak himself, maybe Bruce gets shot by a cop.
Oh, it’s so sad. :o
But then Gotham’s real people can learn to defend themselves, rather than relying on a disinterested royal.
A small child is pushed off of a building by a criminal, Batman dives off to save the child and catches him leaves it on top of a building. Batman then goes off to catch the criminal. The child, while on top of the building sits down and scrapes his leg on a rusty nail. A mob forms calling Batman a negelectful child abuser and starts running after him. Batman decides he can’t take on the whole mob at once so he runs to the batmobile to make a getaway.
Meanwhile:A hippy-enviro group decides to make a point of the resource wasting Batmobile, and poors salt in the gas tank. Batman gets to the car and starts to drive away. but the Batmobile stalls, and he is trapped. The mob eventually drags him from the car and beats him senseless. The bat-arang is determined to be a concealed weapon and he is sentenced to 80 years in prison. After his identity as Billionaire Bruce Wayne is revealed. Three thousand separate civil suit are filed from everything to unlawful detainment, to post-traumatic-stress over seing a giant flying black thing in the middle of the night.
He spends the rest of his short life penniless, in prison with many of the people he has sent there. After one month he is shanked in the shower, and dies butt-nekid and bleeding on the dirty shower floor.
Bush convinces congress that Gotham city is harboring weapons of mass destruction.
The entire city goes up in a mushroom cloud.
:rolleyes:
Robin meets a nice Jewish girl from Jersey and settles down, giving up the life of crime fighting. Before he does, he informs Bruce that he has a serious leather fetish, as Catwoman obviously does too, and if the two of them get together and explore their kinks together, they’d both find life a lot more enjoyable.
After much brooding in the Batcave, Bruce decides to give Robin’s suggestions a shot. Catwoman resists at first, but after an epic battle with Batman, ends up panting in his arms. Seems she has a rape fetish AND a leather fetish. Bruce is agreeable to being Catwoman’s perennial rapist, and they live happily and kinkily ever after, as the crime fighting and committing crimes seems a lot less … necessary to them.
Meanwhile, the Joker kills himself after appearing on Last Comic Standing and bombing big time. Batmans’ newfound understanding of human nature leads him to defuse the Riddler by getting him a gig writing books of logic puzzles, anagrams, cryptograms and such, in which the Riddler is of course a huge sucess, earning him a salary slightly in excess of $15K a year!
Have Ozzie bite his head off on stage.