# How zombie-proof is your home? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 6, 2006, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-zombie-proof-is-your-home/351539 "2006-04-06T06:04:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-zombie-proof-is-your-home/351539/41 "2006-04-07T04:41:36Z")
I’m not worried. I’m pretty sure there is a clause about this somewhere in my insurance policy. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-zombie-proof-is-your-home/351539/42 "2006-04-07T05:44:27Z")
There is absolutely no way the zombies could get me. Entry to my dorm requires RFID card access. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-zombie-proof-is-your-home/351539/43 "2006-04-07T05:53:58Z")
[QUOTE=Spatial Rift 47] There is absolutely no way the zombies could get me. Entry to my dorm requires RFID card access. 😃 [/QUOTE] Psshaw, all zombies have RFID cards. Haven’t you ever played Resident Evil? How do you think you get from one restricted area to the next? ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-zombie-proof-is-your-home/351539/44 "2006-04-07T05:56:50Z")
Crap! Oh well. Maybe the stairs will trip them up. That or the really heavy door to my room. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-zombie-proof-is-your-home/351539/45 "2006-04-08T06:54:56Z")
I, for one, welcome our new Zombie overlords ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-zombie-proof-is-your-home/351539/46 "2006-04-08T07:28:22Z")
Ding Dong Who is it? Zom…err…ah… Candygram! Candygram? Who would be sending me a Candygram… Aiieeeee! HA! HA! Zombiegram! ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-zombie-proof-is-your-home/351539/47 "2006-04-08T07:45:45Z")
If they’re the type of zombies that die when they step in a puddle of dog pee, no problem. The dog will even distract them so they don’t notice the pee, by barking ferociously while simultaniously running backwards. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-zombie-proof-is-your-home/351539/48 "2006-04-08T11:07:33Z")
Home? I’m toast. Workplace #1? Large glass panels everywhere - I’m toast. Workplace #2? Aircraft hangar - we all pile into an aircraft and hope (a) it’s pointing the right way, (b) it’s been sufficiently repaired, and © that someone can fly it. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-zombie-proof-is-your-home/351539/49 "2006-04-08T15:05:27Z")
Oh, man! If they came after me at work (they probably would just want to worship me, rather than eat my head - see above), I could have loads of fun. I could sledge hammer or chisel out pieces of them. I could sawzall bits of them off. I could run run a chalk line on them, making it easy to free hand a skill saw on them. I could run a really straight line on them with the table saw. For that matter, I could cut a dado into them. I could nail their limbs onto the studs. Or perhaps some sort of threaded fastener might be applied. Then I could tape off and backfill them. Finally, a nice application of sealer and gloss. Several coats, sanded in between. “My, I LOVE what you’ve done with your zombies!” ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-zombie-proof-is-your-home/351539/50 "2006-04-08T16:01:11Z")
I think my light saber should take care of them. ---
**Author:** ![Logan\_5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/fbc32d/32.png) [@Logan\_5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Logan_5)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-zombie-proof-is-your-home/351539/51 "2006-04-08T16:42:49Z")
[QUOTE=outlierrn] I, for one, welcome our new Zombie overlords [/QUOTE] Zombie sympathizer!!! damn, now the zombie hordes will know all about our preparations and defenses! we’re doomed! DOOMED I tells ya! -\*Logan 5 runs to the nearest church looking for safety, only to find the congregation feeding on the body of Christ!!! OH NO! They’re everywhere!!! \* 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-zombie-proof-is-your-home/351539/52 "2006-04-08T22:01:12Z")
[QUOTE=Paul in Saudi] A mixed bag. The Saudi guards got rifles and machine guns, but are very short on holy water and crusifixes. So the zombies should be toast, but even a few highly-trained vampires could make it to my steel door. [/QUOTE] Crucifixes wouldn’t help you anyway, **Paul** – they’re generally effective only against European/Christian vampires. I have no idea what holy symbols are used in Islam, but I’m sure they’d be effective against Arabian/Muslim _nosferatu_. Would the guards mind conducting a research project for us? Back to the OP: At home, I’m screwed. I’m on the ground floor, with floor-to-ceiling windows in multiple rooms. I have some makeshift weapons, including a fireplace poker, and a few real ones, including a large dagger (12" blade, previously discussed a few years ago). I figure I could hold off one or two scout zombies, but I would fall to a determined assault. OTOH, if I link up with a Zombie Cleansing Team, I have very good sniper skills, and would be a useful addition to their force. I’m just a bit worried about how much thought some of you have put into this question. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-zombie-proof-is-your-home/351539.md?page=2)