# HP Question: What Would Your Patronus Be? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 24, 2007, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785 "2007-08-24T17:17:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/21 "2007-08-24T19:06:39Z")
I’d be stupefied if mine weren’t a lion or lioness. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/22 "2007-08-24T19:11:19Z")
[QUOTE=DiggitCamara] This is either a sophisticated woosh or a misplaced post. [/QUOTE] The former. Think Hewlett Packard instead of Harry Potter. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/23 "2007-08-24T19:12:48Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] May be more IMHO, but since it’s HP related I’ll put it here. What would your patronus take the form of? I would have a bison bull (fierce creatures with some hellacious power behind them) but only if I couldn’t have my first choice, which would be Joe Pesci. If I had the latter it’d be Joe from either _Goodfellas_ or _Casino_, because either way show me one Dementor who’s going to mess with a psychotic Italian guy throwing down on them: “Oh, oh… you think you can mess with kids in a tunnel cause they can’t use no magic, huh? Well come heah, I’ll show you some slight of f_ckin’ fists you can take back to the Asscabana or wherever the f_ck you come from!”. It could answer for all times whether Dementors have blood. [/QUOTE] “Bobby, did you hear dat?” “I heard t’ings.” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/24 "2007-08-24T19:18:35Z")
Lamest ideas for a patronus (or Patronæ Certain To Get Your Ass Kicked [PSC GAKs): An amoeba Asparagus Jai Rodriguez Shrimp any Carbohydrate ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/25 "2007-08-24T19:19:04Z")
[QUOTE=BlueKangaroo] I’d be stupefied if mine weren’t a lion or lioness. [/QUOTE] Not a Kangaroo? ---
**Author:** ![pprgrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f6c823/32.png) [@pprgrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pprgrl)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/26 "2007-08-24T19:21:35Z")
A [Weeble.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weeble) Oh, it has to be an animal? Probably a fat old moggy then. ---
**Author:** ![pprgrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f6c823/32.png) [@pprgrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pprgrl)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/27 "2007-08-24T19:24:37Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] Lamest ideas for a patronus (or Patronæ Certain To Get Your Ass Kicked [PSC GAKs): An amoeba Asparagus Jai Rodriguez Shrimp any Carbohydrate [/QUOTE] On the other hand, I think a Carson Kressley patronus would send my dementor ass hauling pretty damn quick. ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/28 "2007-08-24T19:26:08Z")
A Siamese cat with a real attitude. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/29 "2007-08-24T19:32:40Z")
Mine would definitely be some kind of bird. Hawk, maybe. If not that, then an elephant. _trumpets_ ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/30 "2007-08-24T19:37:36Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] Mine would definitely be some kind of bird. Hawk, maybe. If not that, then an elephant. _trumpets_ [/QUOTE] I know what you _meant_, but I keep reading this as “some kind of bird: a hawk or an elephant.” Then I imagine a very startled looking elephant sprouting feathers and trumpeting… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/31 "2007-08-24T19:58:55Z")
[QUOTE=pprgrl] On the other hand, I think a Carson Kressley patronus would send my dementor ass hauling pretty damn quick. [/QUOTE] “Ugh, that tatty, tacky black cloak just HAS to go. Let’s go shopping! I see you in some nice pastels…then we have to talk shoes! Where do you think you are going mr ‘I want to suck all the happiness from you’ (and let me tell you girl, I bet you could too!)” ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/32 "2007-08-24T20:03:24Z")
If I get to choose, it is going to be a lioness. If it is thrust upon me, more than likely an orca. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/33 "2007-08-24T20:16:29Z")
Remember, it’s not necessarily a Muggle animal: Dubledore had a phoenix. So presumably, dragons, griffons, three-headed dogs named Fluffy, etc. are also options. When I was a kid, I was absolutely fascinated by elephants… At Hogwarts age, that’s definitely what it would have been. Now, though, I’m not sure: Possibly a Peregrine falcon. Or maybe an octopus, or a chimpanzee. All of them are animals which use their brains a fair bit to get by. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/34 "2007-08-24T20:28:59Z")
Mine would be an ocelot. I’ve loved them since I was a kid, and I’ve even been hugged by a real one. Yes, definitely an ocelot. As far as mythical creatures go, some kind of dragon. A small dragon. But I still think I would end up with some sort of cat, since I love them so much. ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/35 "2007-08-24T20:44:16Z")
A shark on top of an elephant, just eating and stomping all through them dementors. More probably a lion, even more probably an orange tabby cat. ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/36 "2007-08-24T20:52:52Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] Not a Kangaroo? [/QUOTE] Actually, no. The name’s an old joke that’s not really funny anymore. Lions are definitely my passion. I’m a total high-fantasy geek who loves dragons and unicorns and such, but it’d still be a lion or lioness, depending on how patronus genders are assigned. Probably a lion. As a kid, though, no doubt it would have been a unicorn. I am completely certain of both of these things. So no doubt I’m 100% wrong. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/37 "2007-08-24T20:54:10Z")
[Space Coyote](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Simpsons_Coyote.png) ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/38 "2007-08-24T20:57:57Z")
If I could choose, it would be a phoenix. I love phoenixes (phoenices? Phoenii?) to death. My dream is to oneday get a masterful tattoo of one done en largo on my upper back. If thrust upon me, I’d say a lion. Bold and noble, but one little thorn in the paw and off I go whimpering and scared 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/39 "2007-08-24T21:30:33Z")
See, I know the answer to this because I took the class. It was Finding Your Totem Animal, given at the Experimental College at UC Davis in the late eighties. This is not to say that it was a UCD class. Anyone who wants to give a class can sign up at the EC. I took the class because I was curious how you’d find out a thing like that, and it turned out to be a guided meditation class. What was weird was the extent to which I did and didn’t have control of the visualizations. In about the third class, we went for a walk in our visualization area and were instructed to turn the corner and meet our animal. I saw an otter. Then we were told to ask the animal if they were our guide. I guess some of these visualized animals like to fake you out. Meeting multiple animals until one finally says yes is apparently not unheard of. We were also told not to be upset it our animal ate us, cause _shrug_ it happens. When I asked mine, it turned into a beaver and then said yes. In the last three classes, it turned back and forth several times. So my animal is an otterbeaver. ``` Now I'm trying to remember which patroni the HP crew came up with. Hermione had a cat and Luna had a rabbit. Did Ron have a dog? Can anyone else remember specifics? ``` ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/40 "2007-08-24T21:33:35Z")
Hermione had an otter, actually. Rowling’s favorite real animal is an otter, and she made that Hermione’s patronus. I think Ron’s was a dog, a Jack Russell Terrier type I think I recall reading. I think Cho Chang had a swan. I don’t recall anyone else’s. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785.md?page=3)