# HP Question: What Would Your Patronus Be? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 24, 2007, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785 "2007-08-24T17:17:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![brendon\_small](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brendon_small/32/17101_2.png) [@brendon\_small](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brendon_small)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2007, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/61 "2007-08-25T04:38:06Z")
A dog with bees in it’s mouth so that when it barks it shoots bees… nevermind… Brendon Small ---
**Author:** ![Raspberry\_NOT\_Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecd19e/32.png) [@Raspberry\_NOT\_Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raspberry_NOT_Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2007, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/62 "2007-08-25T05:54:45Z")
After years of trying unsucessfully, I finally conjured my Patronus tonight! My happy thought was being able to share it with all of YOOOOOU! It was a terrifying were-donkey, with bloody fangs and glowing yellow eyes. I decided to name her Patricia. ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2007, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/63 "2007-08-25T13:03:26Z")
A 1987 Buick Regal. . . . sorry, wrong franchise. Hopefully a [Tasmanian Devil](http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/resources/ofstedal/couper/devil.jpg/medium.jpg), but I could also go for a platypus or panda. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2007, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/64 "2007-08-25T13:19:00Z")
[QUOTE=ExTank] Wile E. Coyote. I’m so screwed. [/QUOTE] Hey! Not with that attitude! Anyway, I think mine would be obvious. _looks at username_ I’d also go for wolf. Or maybe a cheetah, it’s a cat that’s a lot like a dog. Fantasy animal would be a dragon or a griffin. If I didn’t get to choose then it would probably be a Puffin or a Rockhopper Penguin, something cute and non-threatening. Well, they look non-threatening but you just try and take their fish away and they’ll give you such a pinch! Fantasy animal would be the creature from an episode of Fractured Fairy Tales that was a sort of Chimera, they called him a mean loathsome horrifying kind of thing and he sang this song: _I’ve got the head of a lion Body of a snake and when I move my wolf’s feet all I do is shake Oh I hate me! I hate me! Oh I hate myself! I’ve got the mean loathsome horrifying kind of thing blues!_ Hmm … maybe I have some self-esteem issues? ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2007, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/65 "2007-08-25T13:42:42Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] A wombat. [/QUOTE] Love this. Mine? Don’t laugh. No really, don’t. a beta fish Okay, not exactly the most ferocious creature. But I have a certain unbreakable connection. And I feel like it would act to protect me. I said don’t laugh! ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2007, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/66 "2007-08-25T14:14:35Z")
Probably a horse. I’ve been infatuated with them since I was old enough to recognize them. ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2007, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/67 "2007-08-25T17:41:36Z")
[QUOTE=Epimetheus] Chuck Norris. [/QUOTE] You, sir, win the thread. 🆒 Mine’s probably some sort of feline, I’d like to say panther but probably not that majestic, just a common housecat that thinks it is one. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2007, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/68 "2007-08-25T17:46:37Z")
My daughter refuses to play along, so I make her’s a toad. (I wonder if Professor Umbridge’s was a toad) #2 son says a poisonous snake. Ugh. #1 son just pulls the covers further over his head and groans. I’m liking meerkats today. Or flying squirrels. What is Neville’s? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2007, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/69 "2007-08-25T18:41:23Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] What is Neville’s? [/QUOTE] I don’t think we ever found that out. I don’t remember it, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/70 "2007-08-26T00:42:55Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] I don’t think we ever found that out. I don’t remember it, anyway. [/QUOTE] I wonder what it would be, though. Perhaps some kind of predatory insect, given his love of botany? a spider perhaps or a beetle? ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/71 "2007-08-26T02:07:29Z")
I was on a mailing list once where we all took one of those “which dog are you” personality tests. My result was a Scottish terrier, and I was told that was me all over, one of those cute little yappy dogs. My response was that they better watch out, because “those cute little yappy dogs” can bite and never give up. So, if it was assigned to me, it’d be either a Scotty dog, causing the death of a thousand nips, or else it’d be a cat. If I got to choose it, I’d probably pick a dragon. Or else, it’d be a cat. So, yeah, probably a cat either way. Or, an annoying yappy Scottish terrier that nips you to death. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/72 "2007-08-26T02:21:20Z")
Manatee. Defeats Dementors by causing them to laugh themselves to death. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/73 "2007-08-26T02:26:24Z")
A big goofy Irish Setter running Hell bent for leather in the wrong direction. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/74 "2007-08-26T02:39:16Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] I wonder what it would be, though. Perhaps some kind of predatory insect, given his love of botany? a spider perhaps or a beetle? [/QUOTE] Heh. Probably a mandrake root. I know, it’s not really an animal, but it’s animate, and would be quite impressive as a Patronus, wouldn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/75 "2007-08-26T02:42:38Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Heh. Probably a mandrake root. I know, it’s not really an animal, but it’s animate, and would be quite impressive as a Patronus, wouldn’t it? [/QUOTE] and given his prowess on the dance floor, very appropriate. Go Neville! (he is the Steve Urkle-sp? of the series. Total geek grows up into hot guy). ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/76 "2007-08-26T04:23:51Z")
Me being my oddsome self I’d probably get a cassowary. I don’t know, I really like them for some reason. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Goob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c77e96/32.png) [@Mr.Goob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Goob)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/77 "2007-08-26T04:26:53Z")
For all the years I worked on a farm I’m associated with bovines. Not a majestic bull with sharp horns, noooooo it will be a broken down old cow. Yes-sir-e 2000 pounds of walking hamburger. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/78 "2007-08-26T04:33:39Z")
Hmm, mine’d probably be a LaserJet III, those things were _indestructible_… oh, wrong HP, sorry, carry on then 😉 ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/79 "2007-08-26T04:40:06Z")
[QUOTE=MacTech] Hmm, mine’d probably be a LaserJet III, those things were _indestructible_… oh, wrong HP, sorry, carry on then 😉 [/QUOTE] That joke was made in [post 6](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=8913651&postcount=6). However, I agree, those things never died. Should work pretty well. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785/80 "2007-08-26T05:08:14Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Patronus? Enhance, Mr. Spock. 😕 :dubious: [/QUOTE] Mine would something along the lines of a [Doomsday Machine](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Doomsday_Machine_%28TOS_episode%29) . Full size and it would eat dementors, planets, etc, just like the real thing. I mean really, who wants something like an otter as your protector? One Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch and then bye bye otter. Sheesh! :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hp-question-what-would-your-patronus-be/416785.md?page=5)