# Hugging **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 18, 2020, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041 "2020-05-18T15:32:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TRC4941](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trc4941/32/6792_2.png) [@TRC4941](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TRC4941)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2020, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/1 "2020-05-18T15:32:48Z")
With the close contact restrictions we now have, it got me to wondering about hugging. When did hugging become the go-to way of greeting someone? I don’t remember people hugging as a greeting when I was a kid, other than grandmas and little kids. At some point in the last 30 years, we all started hugging. I wonder what prompted that? Or am I wrong? Have people been hugging hello forever? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2020, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/2 "2020-05-18T15:54:45Z")
I’m not sure, but I suspect it started with Leo Buscaglia in the 80s. He actively promoted hugging, and it eventually caught on. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2020, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/3 "2020-05-18T16:37:26Z")
> [@TRC4941](#): > > At some point in the last 30 years, we all started hugging. Maybe you just started hanging around different people? ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2020, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/4 "2020-05-18T16:40:28Z")
IMHO, it’s very much a European thing (especially Italy), and caught on over here as people became more aware of the culture. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2020, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/5 "2020-05-18T16:43:38Z")
I don’t recall much hugging in my youth either - we’re talking 60s to early 70s. But it seemed by the mid-80s, hugging was pretty much standard. I was most surprised the first time my brother sorta-hugged me - one arm around the shoulders and a squeeze. We didn’t do that when we were growing up. I’m not sure how I feel about it - there are some people I’d rather not be that close to. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2020, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/6 "2020-05-18T17:41:23Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > IMHO, it’s very much a European thing (especially Italy), and caught on over here as people became more aware of the culture. The first time I was introduced to a french woman in St Martin, she approached me and did that hug&cheek kiss thing. She giggled and said something (in French) to my gf. My gf then explained that I shouldn’t really “smooch” her cheeks, just kinda pretend/air-kiss. Then she said, “again” and we did it again. It was weird, still is. I’m not into handshaking, pretending to kiss is just as odd. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2020, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/7 "2020-05-18T18:53:50Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > The first time I was introduced to a french woman in St Martin, she approached me and did that hug&cheek kiss thing. She giggled and said something (in French) to my gf. My gf then explained that I shouldn’t really “smooch” her cheeks, just kinda pretend/air-kiss. > Then she said, “again” and we did it again. It was weird, still is. I’m not into handshaking, pretending to kiss is just as odd. My wife’s family is from Peru. When I first met her sister, she said “I’m going to kiss your cheek, ok? This is how we greet.” I’m not sure if she was afraid that I’d recoil or afraid that I’d go in for real kiss (neither was much of a real chance). As for the OP, back in the 90s I belonged to a church that did a lot of hugging as a greeting so, by the time it became more mainstream, I was pretty used to the concept. ---
**Author:** ![TRC4941](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trc4941/32/6792_2.png) [@TRC4941](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TRC4941)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2020, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/8 "2020-05-19T14:04:43Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Maybe you just started hanging around different people? No, I’m hanging around with pretty much the same people. I grew up in the 60s & 70s and when we had family get-togethers, we just greeted each other with a hi or hello. At some point, we were hugging every time we saw each other. Same thing with greeting friends. And it’s not only with people I haven’t seen in a while but it’s with people I see all of the time. The only place it doesn’t happen (thank goodness!) is at work. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2020, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/9 "2020-05-19T14:19:51Z")
Humans have been hugging since long before they were human. The question isn’t why people have started hugging - it’s why they stopped in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2020, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/10 "2020-05-19T14:37:14Z")
I grew up in the 70s and 80s in the UK, where hugging or kissing was Not A Thing. Didn’t even do it with my parents after the age of about 6. Then we all started taking foreign holidays, and air kissing started creeping in. At some point this became hugging. But we’re all still so confused about what we’re supposed to be doing that clashing of heads and awkward hug/kiss/shoulder patting is a common event, as we all dive in different directions and mistake one gesture for another. My elderly mother (now 93) once complained bitterly about the fact she couldn’t go to a nice event at the golf club anymore without having to kiss everyone. Maybe she was onto something. ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2020, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/11 "2020-05-19T21:24:39Z")
Hopefully the pandemic will put a stop to it. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2020, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/12 "2020-05-19T21:44:56Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > IMHO, it’s very much a European thing (especially Italy), and caught on over here as people became more aware of the culture. Yes, and Leo Buscaglia was the son of Italian immigrants. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2020, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/13 "2020-05-20T00:09:59Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I don’t recall much hugging in my youth either - we’re talking 60s to early 70s. But it seemed by the mid-80s, hugging was pretty much standard. I was most surprised the first time my brother sorta-hugged me - one arm around the shoulders and a squeeze. We didn’t do that when we were growing up. > > I’m not sure how I feel about it - there are some people I’d rather not be that close to. Ditto. I grew up in the 60s and 70s and hugging was Just. Not. Done. Even with my parents (who were not terribly emotive people anyway). I think it’s become much more common in the past 20ish years and I’m really not sure why. I don’t dislike it, per se, it just still often startles me. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2020, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/14 "2020-05-20T02:53:29Z")
I hate the hugging of peeps outside my immediate family. I actively back up from huggers. Have been doing it for 25years or something. I’m a germaphobe. Pandemics are in my wheelhouse. ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2020, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/15 "2020-05-20T03:06:05Z")
It’s been common in the gay male community forever. It’ll be interesting to see if there is any COVID change. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2020, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugging/854041/16 "2020-05-20T03:20:35Z")
I was a teenager in the 80s. Hugging was very much a thing. Internally, I remember thinking at the time that I’ve grown up now that I can hug girls and NOT get all giddy about it.