# Hugs! Given and Received - No Questions Asked **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 10, 2012, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370 "2012-04-10T15:13:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/21 "2012-04-11T13:02:36Z")
Morning - I’ve got several armfuls of hugs for any and all who need them. Here’s one for **{{{madrabbitwoman}}}**. > [@Ludy](#): > > Well I told my husband that I needed to see a doctor and why. His response was, huh. And that’s it. No further discussion at all. Its a wonder I don’t feel like I have any support. Here’s another for **{{{Ludy}}}**. Get in touch with a doctor and a support group stat, babe. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/22 "2012-04-11T15:04:06Z")
Thanks for starting this thread. I woke up this morning, after a pretty dismal night’s sleep feeling pretty depressed. And I remembered this thread. I could use a hug. Just a little one. There are clearly other folks who could use them even more, so **{{{HUGS}}}** For all the folks who can use 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/23 "2012-04-11T15:10:46Z")
Sorry, I’m all out of little hugs. I hope this XXXL will fit, **{{{{{{gwendee}}}}}}**! ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/24 "2012-04-11T16:01:56Z")
Just popping back in to offer another hug to all who have come after me. ((((hugs)))) There is no such thing as too many hugs. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/25 "2012-04-11T16:11:34Z")
> [@PapSett](#): > > There is no such thing as too many hugs. Oh yes there is. Prove me wrong; I double-dog dare you. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/26 "2012-04-12T10:02:41Z")
> [@Ludy](#): > > Well I told my husband that I needed to see a doctor and why. His response was, huh. And that’s it. No further discussion at all. Its a wonder I don’t feel like I have any support. _gives **Ludy** a hug and a pillow to hit the husband with_ Excuse me… _borrows the pillow back, hits **VBob** with it and returns it to **Ludy** _ {{{{{{{{{{anybody who wants one}}}}}}}}}}} ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/27 "2012-04-12T10:41:32Z")
Hugs all round. This board and all you posters on it mean a lot to me and I have never said so. And thanks for the advance hug in the OP, I really needed that. Let’s just put it down to too much wine and missing my kid who is with my folks for the school holidays. I get her home tomorrow, but I’m lonely and needed a hug tonight. Yeah, ‘lonely’ covers all the other bits that I can’t articulate. {{{big hugs for all}}} ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/28 "2012-04-12T13:22:27Z")
Psst - hey, you. Yes, I mean you. No, not that other poster; _you_. Yes, you, really. Here’s a hug for **{{{you}}}**. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/29 "2012-04-12T13:26:05Z")
Oh that feels good. Thanks. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/30 "2012-04-12T14:21:29Z")
I am a most excellent hugger. So much so that I am more often the hugger, rather than the hugee. Since I have a limitless supply and have used only six today, I’d like to give lovely, soothing, squishy, squeezy hugs to all. Please indicate any preferences for rocking or swaying; head stroking or back rubbing. Minimum holdage as my huggee hostage is 8 seconds. Maximum? Entirely up to you. **{{{{]Heart of Dorkness}}}}**, as first in line, just rest your head on my shoulder, breathe that breath that lets you go a bit floppy, and as we sway a bit and I stroke the back of your head, know that it’s all going to be okay. ---
**Author:** ![FrancisCastle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b4bc9f/32.png) [@FrancisCastle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrancisCastle)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/31 "2012-04-12T14:47:29Z")
**{{{Group Hug}}}** **Ludy** , I feel your pain. I’m also dealing with PPD right now. The meds are helping, but if my SO would be more supportive I think it would help more. Sometimes I think guys just don’t know what to do. Even if I say all I need is a hug… Also, we are in the process of house hunting. I’m excited about getting a larger space, but I feel like I’m doing all the work. I research, set up showings with the realtor and he just shows up and says yay or nay. Then I get blamed when we look at crappy houses. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/32 "2012-04-12T15:20:22Z")
{{{{{{{{{HoD}}}}}}}}} That is what Celtling calls a “squishimus” hug; they can cure anything short of an hemorrhagic virus. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/33 "2012-04-12T16:01:17Z")
So, a question on hugs. I’ve never been a very touch-accepting guy. When many people will hug as a greeting or a goodbye measure, I just… Don’t. It’s not that I’m against it, I just wasn’t raised with it, and it’s not what I’m used to. Well, I find myself enjoying the physical contact more and more (especially as I lose more and more weight), but I find myself at the awkward point of not knowing how to initiate a ‘I’d like a hug’ moment. How does one do that? ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/34 "2012-04-12T16:24:23Z")
> [@ArrMatey](#): > > So, a question on hugs. I’ve never been a very touch-accepting guy. When many people will hug as a greeting or a goodbye measure, I just… Don’t. It’s not that I’m against it, I just wasn’t raised with it, and it’s not what I’m used to. > Well, I find myself enjoying the physical contact more and more (especially as I lose more and more weight), but I find myself at the awkward point of not knowing how to initiate a ‘I’d like a hug’ moment. How does one do that? You just barrel in there and do it. Be expansive, be generous, smile, make sure you make no hand contact with female bikini areas. The people who stand rigidly non-responsive should mentally filed away in the “never again” category. Most of them will forgive you if you never do it a second time. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/35 "2012-04-12T20:43:20Z")
It’s a bit like initiating a kiss. Tilt your head, smile a little, get an expectant look on your face … and hold your arms out a little. ---
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/36 "2012-04-12T22:38:02Z")
Ok. More hugs needed today. Because I am in the “mental health” system I have to see a psychiatrist today (particularly because being manic put me in the situation where I was assaulted). I don’t like him very much and teleconferencing freaks me out. From past experience I prefer not to appear noncompliant so I have to go. I just wish I didn’t have to go over what happened again ☹ ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/37 "2012-04-12T22:59:57Z")
> [@madrabbitwoman](#): > > Ok. More hugs needed today. Because I am in the “mental health” system I have to see a psychiatrist today (particularly because being manic put me in the situation where I was assaulted). I don’t like him very much and teleconferencing freaks me out. From past experience I prefer not to appear noncompliant so I have to go. I just wish I didn’t have to go over what happened again ☹ Big hug and (just off camera during the conference) putting down a hot drink of your preference made just the way you like it and holding your hand. **ArrMatey!** , I know exactly how you feel. It’s still awkward, but I find the more I practice, the easier it’s getting. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/38 "2012-04-12T23:02:06Z")
(((hugs))) madrabbitwoman! We’re all here for you. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/39 "2012-04-13T00:33:12Z")
((hug))MRW. And what PapSett said. We’re here for ya. ---
**Author:** ![Sodalite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@Sodalite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sodalite)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370/40 "2012-04-13T01:11:55Z")
> [@madrabbitwoman](#): > > Ok. More hugs needed today. Because I am in the “mental health” system I have to see a psychiatrist today (particularly because being manic put me in the situation where I was assaulted). I don’t like him very much and teleconferencing freaks me out. From past experience I prefer not to appear noncompliant so I have to go. I just wish I didn’t have to go over what happened again ☹ ((((((madrabbitwoman)))))) I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you can get all the help you need. The system can be a real mess. I’m somewhere approaching manic now. I’m crying and I’ve got that awful crawly feeling in my wrists and hands for the second time today. I’m at home so I can rub the backs of my hands together without anyone looking at me weird. It sort of cancels out the zappy/crawly feeling. Even I have to admit it looks crazy, though. I have a psychiatrist but no regular therapist anymore. Budget cuts mean the clinic in my county is understaffed. Group therapy is all they can offer and I’m too nervous. I’m going over everything I learned in CBT to try to keep it under control but it’s so hard when I’m under so much stress. Why do I need a hug? On Monday my mother fell for the third time in two weeks. My boss is on vacation this week so I’m running the shop by myself. My dad is in jail for shoplifting again. I don’t know how to do my taxes because I’m filing for the first time this year. I’m trying to move from disability to a stable level of employment. I haven’t lost the thirty pounds my primary care doctor wanted me to lose and I have to see him in a couple of weeks. I’m dreading it because I really don’t need anybody else to point out my failures and tell how I’m just not good enough. Good things have been happening, too. I’m just too freaked out to get any enjoyment out of them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs-given-and-received-no-questions-asked/618370.md?page=3)