# Hugs **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 16, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179 "2003-04-16T21:49:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/1 "2003-04-16T21:49:56Z")
Just wandering about the boards and I was reading the [I Miss Men](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=177465) thread and Ethilrist brings up somewhere in there about hugbuddies. Thinking on this I realize that I myself will _always_ have need of a hug buddy. I love getting hugs, whether completely platonic or as a lead in to something else. I just love the feeling of being wrapped in someones arms and knowing they care in some way about me. As a child I’d get hugs daily from my mother, lately I don’t get many hugs at all for several reasons (I no longer live with family, but when I see any of them I make sure to give/get lots of hugs) and I don’t really have anyone to give me hugs unless I ask for it. But I like spontaneous hugs. Just to say hello, or thank you or for no reason at all but to _hug_. It’s just a nice warm fuzzy feeling and right now I feel like I am going through withdrawl. Last one I got was a couple of weeks ago from a friends I hadn’t seen in awhile. I love getting cyber hugs too, but they just aren’t quite the same. Close, but not quite. How many others here feel this way? Just curious… Man… I think I need to find my friend and ask for a hug. ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/2 "2003-04-16T22:15:27Z")
Oh god I miss hugs … sooooooooo much. As I’m long distance from my bf, I don’t get hugs hardly at all. Obviously, I don’t go round hugging random men (you know how they get ideas :p) and I don’t really hug anyone else. Cyber hugs are cool but still… nothing quite like that feeling of comfort and safety you get with a real hug… PS my Mother (when she was alive) used to give us all hugs just whenever we needed them… we called them our petrol … to help us keep going ya know? Miss them too… Hugs are very very special and should never be overlooked. I miss snuggling too … I’d love to be snuggling right now… sighhhhhssssssssss… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/3 "2003-04-16T22:24:44Z")
We like to hug… Lola and I still act like we’re dating… I can’t leave or come home without getting some… hugs that is. Little girls seem to be full of hugs and it’s all my daughters can do to get rid of those hugs they accumulate through the day. Sometimes it seems that they hit a point of overload and just have to run up and hug you. Speaking of flying hugs… I get those from the girls when I get home from work. Our boys, despite the fact that they sometimes act like they’re too big for em… like their hugs too. I am also a hugger and feel that it is an appropriate way to greet close friends and family, no matter what the gender is. Apparently, I am blessed with an abundant supply of hugs. (((hugs to all))) ---
**Author:** ![Susma\_Rio\_Sep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@Susma\_Rio\_Sep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susma_Rio_Sep)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/4 "2003-04-16T22:24:49Z")
About hugs, I like to ask anyone here willing to satisfy my curiosity: Do you experience any libidinous stirring in being hugged or doing the hugging? Obsidian says: * * * ## I love getting hugs, whether completely platonic or as a lead in to something else. ‘Something else’? Like sex acts? Hugging can be an suggestion/invitation to sex. So, if you don’t want things to go in that direction, don’t let a hug last longer than five seconds, specially when the parties engaged are both warm, even hot, blooded. Maybe people who are accustomed to hugging and being hugged have mastered the skill of rising above their libidinous stirring, notwithstanding that the physicality is there. Obsidian, if you want a cyber hug, take it from me, and without any libidinous stirring. Just because we both belong the a society of thought and idea sharers, which is very good for mankind at large; and hopefully we don’t ascribe to shooting and bombing when we disagree – not like Bush and his War Party. Susma Rio Sep ---
**Author:** ![Loneraven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c0e974/32.png) [@Loneraven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loneraven)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/5 "2003-04-16T22:25:55Z")
Ah. I’m a freak. I hate being hugged, I really, really do. I never know what to do when someone hugs me, beyond panic. I can’t even hug my parents without getting extremely freaked-out. I have serious issues, it would seem. _sighs_ ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/6 "2003-04-16T23:00:32Z")
Thanks _Susma Rio Sep_! _big hugs_ I actually just got a hug from my hug buddy too 🙂 I just wish I had someone to hug like my roomie is hugging his new gf right now on the other couch ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/7 "2003-04-16T23:38:14Z")
I adore being hugged and hugging others. **Susma Rio Sep** brought up an interesting point- that hugs can lead to more, etc. If it’s your SO (or someone you’re attracted to) and you’re snuggled up tight beside them…oh yes! {{{{ **Loneraven** }}}} We _LOVE_ you. [rant hijack] My Ex called me a hug-whore all the time. ::rolls eyes:: He had a problem touching anyone but me. No longerhas a problem with PDAs apparently, since he and his current girlfriend…nevermind. [/rant hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/8 "2003-04-17T00:19:52Z")
One of the many things I miss about college is the amount of hugs I used to get. It was very common in college to walk up to a woman and get a hug. As adults it happens much less often. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/9 "2003-04-17T00:43:16Z")
**Loneraven** , don’t feel like a freak: you aren’t the only one who detests hugs. I can’t stand touch of any kind (shaking hands is more than enough physical contact for me), and hugs tend to initiate a primitive “escape at all costs” subroutine in my reptilian brain. My friends know not to hug me, and I endure the discomfort for the sake of family, but if a stranger came up and hugged me, or if someone came up behind me and gave me a “surprise” hug, they’d probably receive an elbow to the sternum as I whipped around at high speed in an attempt to escape from their clutches. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/10 "2003-04-17T00:45:58Z")
I’m lucky I live where I do live. It’s a community where folks who know each other in the street exchange hugs almost all th’ time, accompanied at times by a peck on the cheek. Even a touch on the shoulder, with a warm, open smile is utterly cool. It’s a great feeling. I love hugs. 🙂 Those who _don’t_ like them – no, you’re not freaks. No one should really be forcing a hug or even a touch that’s unwelcome. I usually ask those I haven’t met before, “Can I give you a hug?” I don’t mind refusal, it’s still okay. ---
**Author:** ![Loneraven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c0e974/32.png) [@Loneraven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loneraven)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/11 "2003-04-17T00:55:42Z")
I feel better. Thank you. I am not a freak because I’m scared of hugs. I tell you what, though. I am a freak because it is three o’clock in the bloody morning and I caaaaaaaan’t sleeeeeeeep! _faint sobbing_ I don’t need a hug. ---
**Author:** ![Luna\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Luna\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Luna_Child)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/12 "2003-04-17T00:57:03Z")
I like hugs…hugs are good things. Comforting. Reviving. Whatever. They’re -nice-. I really don’t get those of you who don’t like hugs…The repulsion to touch, to hugs, just doesn’t make sense to me. About as much sense as the attraction to hugs makes to those of you who don’t like them, I’d bet. Ah well. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/13 "2003-04-17T01:18:09Z")
My family wasn’t a real “touchy” family. Hugs were rare\* - except with the little brother, which was ok because he was so much younger than the rest of us. So I pretty much grew up not getting hugged much. To the point that until I went off to college, I wasn’t really sure how to respond to a hug. It might have been my personality - even though I crave physical contact with other people, including hugs, I don’t express it well, and I’m uncomfortable initiating the hug. But I still need them, and I particularly crave the long bear-hug type of hug. I’m very _slowly_ learning to initiate hugs…but I’m still not at nearly the level I’d like. \*As we’ve gotten older, hugs have become more common. Still not something that happens consistently, and they tend to be short and fairly uninvolved, but they do happen sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/14 "2003-04-17T12:44:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Khadaji \* > \*\*One of the many things I miss about college is the amount of hugs I used to get. It was very common in college to walk up to a woman and get a hug. As adults it happens much less often. \*\* I obviously went to the wrong college… Wow… I was the inspiration for a thread! That’s a first! w00t! ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/15 "2003-04-17T12:57:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > \*\*Wow… I was the inspiration for a thread! That’s a first! w00t! \*\* _grumble_ But I started the thread in which you provided the inspiration. 😉 [sub]don’t mind me, I’m just grumpy today. Not enough sleep, too much to do in the next three days[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Ceejaytee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ceejaytee/32/2956_2.png) [@Ceejaytee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ceejaytee)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/16 "2003-04-17T15:16:38Z")
Hugs are a big thing in my little family. My husband and I like to hug and we’ve instituted a group hug for when we all get home from work/daycare. At first our son was not into it at all, but now at 17 months he asks for “ug” and we pick him up and all hug together. Lots of kisses too. It’s really great. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/17 "2003-04-17T18:57:58Z")
I’m not at all fond of actual hugs, myself, because they make me feel all trapped and claustrophobic. BUT I very much like cyber hugs (on account of how they entail no physical contact), and I have had such a profoundly repulsive week, that if any cyber hugs should chance to pass my way, I’d be most grateful (_hint, hint_). And here’s one for {{{{{{all of you}}}}}}. ---
**Author:** ![MetalDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@MetalDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MetalDog)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/18 "2003-04-17T19:15:01Z")
_sigh_ Cyberhugs. I tend to cybershoot people who cyber hug/snug or even worse /tacklesnug/ me unless I am very, very close to them. I’m the same in real life - I have to know someone uber well before I can bear that kind of thing and even then, I feel awkward unless I’m actually in love with them. I miss being hugged so much. Man I really need a hug a lot lately being in the throes of seemingly endless unrequited love. Alas, I am English and if anyone so much as /touches/ me, I’ll kill them. Except _him_ of course. Man I wish he wanted to hug me. So yeah. No. But want. Arg. Get away from me! ---
**Author:** ![YEP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/43a26b/32.png) [@YEP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YEP)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/19 "2003-04-17T20:20:23Z")
Wow, I also thought I was a freak for not feeling comfortable being hugged. Even family creeps me out, though I’ve never said anything to anyone. I’m very ticklish and my family loved to tickle me, that’s why I thought I didn’t like hugs. ---
**Author:** ![ReBusEniGma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@ReBusEniGma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReBusEniGma)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/20 "2003-04-17T20:30:52Z")
my name is ReBuSeNiGma, and I am a hugger. I can hug anyone without feeling weird about it. Furthermore, I was raised in a very touchy feely family with older sisters. So open, unwarranted displays of affection feel quite normal, with no thought of being strange. I have been so used to it my whole life, that I dont think I fully appreciated the need that a hug may meet for the receiver. Yet, it has always met a need in myself, both the giving and receiving. Odd that. Like a missing synapse or something. **Feynn** , I have kids that run and give hugs when I come home from work too, there is truly nothing like a little human (or a grown up one for that matter 😉 wrapping their arms around you telling you they love you and missed you today. One of life’s many simple joys isn’t it. But in these posts, I am beginning to understand that, although reciprocating the action, I must take more seriously the hugs which I abundantly receive, and consider what they may mean to the beneficiary as well as the benefactor. Thanks to those of you who helped me realize this by your candid posts. And you know the saying, “Freely you have received, freely give”… Here’s a big {{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}} to all those who are in need of one, and want one :::c’mon MetalDog, you know you want to::: 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179.md?page=2)