# Hugs **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 16, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179 "2003-04-16T21:49:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/21 "2003-04-17T20:46:45Z")
I like to hug/kiss my friends when I see them, but I don’t like being touched by people I don’t know very well. Sometimes in social situations people think it’s ok to hug or touch and it creeps me out. The best hugs are from my wittle girl. Kids are the greatest huggers of all. ---
**Author:** ![MetalDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@MetalDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MetalDog)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/22 "2003-04-17T20:47:25Z")
_Metaldog shoots!_ ---
**Author:** ![Laurasia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@Laurasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laurasia)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/23 "2003-04-17T21:03:03Z")
My family never touches…We didn’t hug at all when I was younger and when I went away to college I started getting strange and awkward hugs from my parents when I was leaving to go back to school after Christmas break and stuff… I like getting hugs (and hugging), but I feel really awkward about hugging (or touching in general). I never know if I should hug someone hello or goodbye or shake hands or simply wave awkwardly and smile (usually end up doing that!). I don’t know…guess I’m kind of weird about the whole thing. I like getting and giving hugs though… ---
**Author:** ![Sappho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sappho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sappho)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/24 "2003-04-17T21:14:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Laurasia \* > \*\*My family never touches…We didn’t hug at all when I was younger and when I went away to college I started getting strange and awkward hugs from my parents when I was leaving to go back to school after Christmas break and stuff… I like getting hugs (and hugging), but I feel really awkward about hugging (or touching in general). I never know if I should hug someone hello or goodbye or shake hands or simply wave awkwardly and smile (usually end up doing that!). I don’t know…guess I’m kind of weird about the whole thing. I like getting and giving hugs though… \*\* I was like that for my first couple of years at university. I didn’t get my first hug till I was 18 or so, and it was very difficult/awkward for a long time. My guess would be that it’ll get much better for you eventually. I’ve certainly become much more relaxed about giving and receiving hugs, I have a much better idea of when it’s appropriate/welcome and when it isn’t. I was pleasantly suprised a while back to be told that I was a very affectionate, huggy person. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/25 "2003-04-17T21:57:01Z")
Hugginess, or the lack thereof, definitely runs in families. I’m not really comfortable hugging someone I don’t know, and like, quite well. My mother wasn’t very comfortable with hugs, when I was growing up, so they weren’t common. She wasn’t comfortable with them because her parents were very Victorian. I’ve worked on becoming more tolerant of them, because I know lots of people consider them a standard part of any greeting, at least among friends. I _think_ I’ve gotten to the point where most people can’t tell how uncomfortable I feel. One interesting note, for the non-huggers, is that once you’ve hugged someone, for the first time, it is MUCH less uncomfortable the second time. And, eventually, the discomfort fades away, entirely, if you know the other person long enough, and hug them regularly. For me, it’s the forced intimacy of it that I don’t care for. I’m really a very private person, despite all the “sharing” I’ve done, here. I don’t get aroused, as someone suggested. I get creeped out, to a greater or lesser extent. Too much contact, plus the scent of the other person, which you wouldn’t normally notice much, if at all. On the other hand, I love to hug people I feel strongly about and am comfortable with. There are two or three who’ve posted here, already, that I’d love to hug, even though one wouldn’t enjoy it. And, when I’m in a _good_ relationship, I can’t get enough contact with my SO. _Davebear’s glove hand flashes out and denies MetalDog’s scoring bid!_ ---
**Author:** ![BadBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@BadBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBaby)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/26 "2003-04-18T06:31:04Z")
I am the child of a mixed marriage. My mother’s family hugs like it’s going out of style and my dad’s family is reluctant to shake hands. How does this manifest itself in me? I looove hugs and give off body language that says I don’t want 'em. The good news is my huggy family doesn’t care and hugs me till my ribs ache-- heaven! ---
**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/27 "2003-04-18T08:00:14Z")
I like hugs if someone else initiates it. Thanks to my husband, I’m a little afraid to just go ahead and hug other people. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/28 "2003-04-18T11:28:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Branwen \* > \*\*I like hugs if someone else initiates it. Thanks to my husband, I’m a little afraid to just go ahead and hug other people. \*\* 😕 Thanks to your husband? Is he the insanely jealous type? No, honest, Mr B. That wasn’t ME nibbling your wife’s belly button! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/29 "2003-04-18T13:40:03Z")
[hijack] **Obsidian Flutterby** I cannot get your name out of my head… I don’t know why but its been there for 2 days and I just keep saying it - perhaps the way it sounds? I don’t know, but its driving me insane :p[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/30 "2003-04-18T15:42:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*😕 Thanks to your husband? Is he the insanely jealous type? > > No, honest, Mr B. That wasn’t ME nibbling your wife’s belly button! 😉 \*\* [sob story] No, he’s not. At the beginning of our marriage, he’d either squirm away or just push me away when I’d try to be affectionate. So, I just stopped trying and became afraid to hug other people.[/sob story] ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/31 "2003-04-18T17:29:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Branwen \* > \*\*[sob story] > No, he’s not. At the beginning of our marriage, he’d either squirm away or just push me away when I’d try to be affectionate. So, I just stopped trying and became afraid to hug other people.[/sob story] \*\* **{{{{Branwen}}}}** Well, I guess hubby belongs in this thread. It’s a shame he’s affected you, though. And, I won’t even try to deal with the other aspects of that post, here, other than to say I’m sorry and I hope things got a lot better. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Rhino’sHoney_ > \*\*…but its driving me insane \*\* Well, it’s a short drive, after all. You could practically walk. 😃 Well, ya’ knew _someone_ was going to say it. Might as well be a friend. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/32 "2003-04-18T17:51:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\ ***{{{{Branwen}}}}** Well, I guess hubby belongs in this thread. It’s a shame he’s affected you, though. And, I won’t even try to deal with the other aspects of that post, here, other than to say I’m sorry and I hope things got a lot better. \*\* Thanks. It’s ok, I’ve gotten used to it.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/33 "2003-04-19T16:42:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rhino’sHoney \* > [hijack] **Obsidian Flutterby** I cannot get your name out of my head… I don’t know why but its been there for 2 days and I just keep saying it - perhaps the way it sounds? I don’t know, but its driving me insane :p[/hijack] lol… well Thank you, Honey! {{{Honey}}} Glad you like it. I kinda like it myself otherwise why would I have picked it? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/34 "2003-04-20T00:22:24Z")
I love hugs! Wasn’t raised in a huggy family; a quick embrace and pat on the back after awhile apart, no long body contact. After the youthful demonstrative years, I learned the wonderful feeling of a great embrace, sans any sexual innuendo. What a joy! My favorite hugger is a wild-man musician bass player. He’s 6’3", rugby player, too. I’m small. A greeting with him involves a gut-crushing hug that sweeps me off my feet, lifts me up, and swings me round a few circles. It’s kinda frightening, but exhilarating! Some dear friends have the long time snuggle hug. Took me awhile to slow down enough to appreciate it, but it’s quite warm and lovely. A nice sigh of warmth. The greeeting kiss I just can’t get. A close family does the peck on the lips greeting, and I just can’t do it. I feel awkward. On a trip to France, the kiss kiss on each cheek was hard, too. But hugs, what a great use of body space and time! ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/35 "2003-04-20T00:29:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Obsidian Flutterby \* > \*\*lol… well Thank you, Honey! {{{Honey}}} Glad you like it. I kinda like it myself otherwise why would I have picked it? 😃 \*\* Its still there !!! All day today, its going around and around in my head… I can’t shut it up … My sister had the very same thing for over a year about chickens lol… the brand name of some poultry producer … she was going mental with it (yes, Dave, it must run in families lol)… Oh my god, there it goes again … lol… this is bizarre!!! ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/36 "2003-04-20T07:17:50Z")
That is kind of bizaare! I think it’s cool though. I’ve certainly never constantly run through someone’s brain before 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/37 "2003-04-21T15:12:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*😕 Thanks to your husband? Is he the insanely jealous type? > > No, honest, Mr B. That wasn’t ME nibbling your wife’s belly button! 😉 \*\* :eek: That’s some overbite you’ve got there! Have you considered braces? ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/38 "2003-04-21T16:46:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rhino’sHoney \* > \*\*My sister had the very same thing for over a year about chickens lol… the brand name of some poultry producer … she was going mental with it (yes, Dave, it must run in families lol)… > \*\* Did I hear my name? 🙂 That’s so cool! I don’t even have to make the jokes, any more. They do it _for_ me, now. I guess my work, here, is done. You’ve got a _sister_? Ooh, ooh! Is _she_ available? Is she even close to being as hot as you are? 😃 > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Ethilrist_ > **That’s some overbite you’ve got there! Have you considered braces?** Naaaah! I have _nice_ teeth. See? 😃 I could teach ya’ how it’s done, but I’ve retired. Now, I only give demonstrations to selected women. Where _is_ **Branwen** , anyway? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/39 "2003-04-21T16:51:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > **You’ve got a _sister_? Ooh, ooh! Is _she_ available? Is she even close to being as hot as you are? 😃** LOL she’s younger but just had a baby and madly in love with her bf… but yeah, you’d probs like her too :rolleyes: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179/40 "2003-04-21T17:25:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rhino’sHoney \* > \*\*LOL she’s younger but just had a baby and madly in love with her bf… but yeah, you’d probs like her too :rolleyes: 😛 \*\* AWwww…grumble, grumble, snarl, growl, grumble ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hugs/169179.md?page=3)