# Human beings are very cruel and indifferent, pathetic really, The landscape of Incarus **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2016, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271 "2016-02-16T16:08:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![quantumleap2016](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f08c70/32.png) [@quantumleap2016](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quantumleap2016)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/1 "2016-02-16T16:08:00Z")
Human beings are essentially indifferent to human suffering. No wonder people committ suicide. I can totally understand. And people have the nerve to call them selfish. What is selfish is watching someone drowning and turning a blind eye. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/2 "2016-02-16T16:27:12Z")
> [@quantumleap2016](#): > > Human beings are essentially indifferent to human suffering. 1. self 2. children 3. immediate family 4. extended family 5. village/community 6. tribe 7. friends/allies 8. country 9. all others, except enemies That’s generally the pecking order of empathy/sympathy. You can appreciate that time, emotion, resources are stretched very thin as you progress down the list. > [@quantumleap2016](#): > > No wonder people committ suicide. No it isn’t. > [@quantumleap2016](#): > > And people have the nerve to call them selfish. That’s rarely the case. > [@quantumleap2016](#): > > What is selfish is watching someone drowning and turning a blind eye. This too is rarely the case. It sounds like you recently lost someone close to you. This must be a very difficult time for you. ---
**Author:** ![quantumleap2016](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f08c70/32.png) [@quantumleap2016](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quantumleap2016)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/3 "2016-02-16T16:40:49Z")
Thank you for your post, I truly appreciate but it has been my experience ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/4 "2016-02-16T17:00:53Z")
Incarus? The guy who flew too close to the sun, and his pen leaked? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/5 "2016-02-16T17:03:20Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Incarus? The guy who flew too close to the sun, and his pen leaked? Yeah, it was night, he didn’t see the sun until it was too late. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/6 "2016-02-16T17:04:23Z")
Is this about [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=784223)? ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/7 "2016-02-16T17:15:18Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > It sounds like you recently lost someone close to you. This must be a very difficult time for you. > [@quantumleap2016](#): > > Thank you for your post, I truly appreciate but it has been my experience It has **not** been my experience (quite the reverse.) When my mother died, the School Chaplain (I’m a teacher) came round to hug me. One friend promptly drove 100 miles to help me deal with the formalities. Another friend phoned me every day for a month - just to comfort me. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/8 "2016-02-16T17:46:24Z")
> [@quantumleap2016](#): > > Thank you for your post, I truly appreciate but it has been my experience Care to get into specifics? ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/9 "2016-02-16T21:16:58Z")
> [@quantumleap2016](#): > > What is selfish is watching someone drowning and turning a blind eye. If you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand. I’ve seen your face before my friend. But I don’t know if you know who I am. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2016, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/11 "2016-02-17T19:40:33Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > If you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand. I’ve seen your face before my friend. But I don’t know if you know who I am. And how does that make you phil? ---
**Author:** ![quantumleap2016](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f08c70/32.png) [@quantumleap2016](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quantumleap2016)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/12 "2016-02-29T15:55:41Z")
[quote=“QuickSilver, post:2, topic:746271”] 1. self 2. children 3. immediate family 4. extended family 5. village/community 6. tribe 7. friends/allies 8. country 9. all others, except enemies That’s generally the pecking order of empathy/sympathy. You can appreciate that time, emotion, resources are stretched very thin as you progress down the list. That is why individuals with good families are very blessed. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/13 "2016-02-29T15:57:08Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Yeah, it was night, he didn’t see the sun until it was too late. Daylight savings time will never be the same again… ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/14 "2016-02-29T18:51:46Z")
[quote=“quantumleap2016, post:12, topic:746271”] > [@QuickSilver](#): > > 1. self > 2. children > 3. immediate family > 4. extended family > 5. village/community > 6. tribe > 7. friends/allies > 8. country > 9. all others, except enemies > > That’s generally the pecking order of empathy/sympathy. You can appreciate that time, emotion, resources are stretched very thin as you progress down the list. > > That is why individuals with good families are very blessed. Are we supposed to beg you for details? Cuz that ain’t going to happen, callous and uncaring bunch that we are. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/15 "2016-02-29T18:58:10Z")
We’re better than spiders. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/16 "2016-02-29T20:49:01Z")
Spiders have suicides? ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/17 "2016-02-29T21:11:11Z")
> [@quantumleap2016](#): > > Thank you for your post, I truly appreciate but it has been my experience [quote=“quantumleap2016, post:12, topic:746271”] > [@QuickSilver](#): > > That is why individuals with good families are very blessed. Quite frankly, and though this will come off a little harsh, I don’t mean it as such, but it sounds like if that’s the case, you’re surrounded by bad people. I love my family, but not all of them are good people that are conducive to me living a good life, supporting me, helping me grow, and encouraging me to use my talents to do the same for others. This is true, to varying degrees, for all the people we come across in our lives, in some cases we have harmonious paths, it others we have contradictory ones, or we might even have one where one is in some manner siphoning energy emotion or resources off another. If this is the case for you, whether they’re acquaintances or family, with some more tolerance the closer and more important they are to you, it may well benefit you to consider reducing your contact with them. And yes, there are cruel people out there who will just let others suffer, or may do nothing, but it’s difficult to really pass that sort of judgment on others as we don’t know their own situation. Recently, I was in a situation where I was helping someone, and they kept insisting I was being selfish because I had to stop. Nevermind I’d gone far beyond what most people would do, but extending myself like that wasn’t only straining my money resources, but it was literally affecting my health. They said to me and to others that I was being selfish and protecting my own ego, but it had ultimately become parasitic where they just had come to expect that help, it was causing me a great deal of pain, and they weren’t doing anything to fix the situation for themselves. So, my point is, don’t just assume people are cruel, it’s important to understand their struggles. Hell, sometimes two suffering people can combine their strengths to help the others with their weaknesses, often times people may pass up on helping others out of fear, shame, or their own. I think it’s a stretch to call that selfishness. If we can understand others’ perspectives and struggles, we immediately feel more sympathy and a greater desire to help them. Maybe we all can do more to help eachother. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/18 "2016-02-29T21:23:34Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Spiders have suicides? Are you kidding? I _always_ see them hanging from the rafters! ---
**Author:** ![quantumleap2016](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f08c70/32.png) [@quantumleap2016](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quantumleap2016)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/19 "2016-02-29T22:03:25Z")
[quote=“Blaster\_Master, post:17, topic:746271”] > [@quantumleap2016](#): > > Quite frankly, and though this will come off a little harsh, I don’t mean it as such, but it sounds like if that’s the case, you’re surrounded by bad people. I love my family, but not all of them are good people that are conducive to me living a good life, supporting me, helping me grow, and encouraging me to use my talents to do the same for others. This is true, to varying degrees, for all the people we come across in our lives, in some cases we have harmonious paths, it others we have contradictory ones, or we might even have one where one is in some manner siphoning energy emotion or resources off another. If this is the case for you, whether they’re acquaintances or family, with some more tolerance the closer and more important they are to you, it may well benefit you to consider reducing your contact with them. > > And yes, there are cruel people out there who will just let others suffer, or may do nothing, but it’s difficult to really pass that sort of judgment on others as we don’t know their own situation. Recently, I was in a situation where I was helping someone, and they kept insisting I was being selfish because I had to stop. Nevermind I’d gone far beyond what most people would do, but extending myself like that wasn’t only straining my money resources, but it was literally affecting my health. They said to me and to others that I was being selfish and protecting my own ego, but it had ultimately become parasitic where they just had come to expect that help, it was causing me a great deal of pain, and they weren’t doing anything to fix the situation for themselves. > > So, my point is, don’t just assume people are cruel, it’s important to understand their struggles. Hell, sometimes two suffering people can combine their strengths to help the others with their weaknesses, often times people may pass up on helping others out of fear, shame, or their own. I think it’s a stretch to call that selfishness. If we can understand others’ perspectives and struggles, we immediately feel more sympathy and a greater desire to help them. Maybe we all can do more to help eachother. Thank you, I apologize if it look like I was making a generazlization. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2016, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/20 "2016-03-01T01:17:49Z")
> [@quantumleap2016](#): > > Human beings are essentially indifferent to human suffering. No wonder people committ suicide. I can totally understand. And people have the nerve to call them selfish. What is selfish is watching someone drowning and turning a blind eye. go watch some videos of lions or hyenas taking down a gazelle or zebra, and eating half of it while it screams in agony. Then come back and say we’re “indifferent” and “cruel.” there are of course individuals among us who _can be_ indifferent and/or cruel, but we as a society have put measures in place to censure or punish them. meanwhile, nobody is volunteering to tell the lion to stop chewing on the gazelle. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2016, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-beings-are-very-cruel-and-indifferent-pathetic-really-the-landscape-of-incarus/746271/21 "2016-03-01T03:03:14Z")
Hey, you’ve figured it out. People are bastards. Welcome to reality. There isn’t anything in the real universe that is fair. Not one goddamned thing. Fairness and Justice are Human concepts. So yeah, go think about the squid who has sperm injected into her by the male, lays thousands of eggs and maybe one of them lives to adulthood. Or the basic fact that everything that lives (except Humans these days) exists to be eaten by something else. Well maybe, just maybe, we can work with that whole fairness and justice thing in our own little world. Or not.