# Human (with no weapons) vs. Lion or Tiger **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 9, 2007, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118 "2007-10-09T17:26:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/41 "2007-10-10T16:11:42Z")
OK, I have no weapons. But if I have [this](http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn1637), I’m pretty confident I can wear the cat down: ‘The suit has proven itself to be virtually indestructible. It has survived two strikes with a 136-kilogramme tree trunk, 18 collisions with a 3-tonne truck at 50 kilometres an hour, and numerous strikes by arrows, bullets, axes and baseball bats.’ ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/42 "2007-10-10T16:26:31Z")
Actually, the 2001 model of the Ursa (Mark V) suit you link to does have a helmet that a bear COULD rip off. As such, I wouldn’t reccomend it. You’d want to contact Troy Hurtubise > **[Troy Hurtubise](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy_Hurtubise)** > > Troy James Hurtubise (November 23, 1963 – June 17, 2018) was a Canadian inventor and conservationist, noted for self-testing his often bizarre creations. These inventions included various ray generators, firepaste (an ablative heatproofing material), the Ursus personal armour suit and the Trojan Ballistics Suit of Armor. > Born in Hamilton, Ontario, he moved to North Bay and later died in a vehicle collision west of there on June 17, 2018. > Hurtubise built a metal suit for protection from grizz... and arrange to get your hands on the current model, the Mark VI. The helmet on it is part of the top half of the suit. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/43 "2007-10-10T16:34:07Z")
Correction: I was wrong about the name of the current model. My bad. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/44 "2007-10-10T16:42:25Z")
How about a human with no weapons versus a liger\* without its skills in magic? - pretty much my favorite animal ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/45 "2007-10-10T16:44:42Z")
How about a liger vs a lloigor? ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/46 "2007-10-10T16:59:59Z")
Another thing is that if you hit a human in the head, he’s pretty much disabled. Our gigantic brain with a eggshell thin skull is incredibly vulnerable. Now take a look at a tiger skull. Massively thick bones. A punch in the nose or the back of the head isn’t going to disable a tiger like it can disable a human. It might make him back off and decide to kill something that doesn’t fight back, because tigers don’t like fair fights, they like sure things. Not even Chuck Norris can punch a tiger in the head hard enough to disable it. If you’ve got a dog, feel around your dog’s head sometime. Their head is much less vulnerable than yours. Thick bone, small non-sloshable brain, and the jaw muscles wrap all the way around the skull and connect to a giant ridge on the top of the skull. A blow to the head that would kill a human can be shrugged off by a dog or cat, or heck, most animals. Our gigantic and vulnerable heads are the equivalent of the abdomens of honeypot ants, and I bet honeypot ant message boards are full of ants posting that in a honeypot ant vs beetle fight, you just give the beetle a nip on the soft engorged abdomen and he’s done for. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/47 "2007-10-10T18:44:23Z")
Why do these debates always exclude the use of improvised weapons? Disallowing [A-10 ground attack aircraft](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A-10_Thunderbolt_II) is one thing, but you don’t really think a caveman without a spear would try to wrestle a lion, do you? He’d try to find a rock or big stick, or try to lead it over a cliff or something. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/48 "2007-10-10T19:50:23Z")
Well, if the human can try to trick the lion over a cliff, then why can’t the lion crouch behind some bushes and jump on the human when the human’s back is turned? Either we’re talking a Roman Colosseum style matchup, or we’re not. Of course a Masai hunter could fashion a weapon in short order and track and maybe kill a lion, even if dumped naked in the middle of the Serengeti. My mom, not so much. In the real world, big cats would be extinct if humans decided to exterminate them instead of protecting them. But also in the real world big cat attacks on humans aren’t Thunderdome style matchups where two mammals enter, one mammal leaves. Instead it’s a big cat sneaking up on a human, armed or unarmed, and jumping them before the human has a chance to react. Or people who stick their hands in a tiger cage and then have the nerve to look surprised when they pull back a bloody stump. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/49 "2007-10-10T19:59:27Z")
[QUOTE=Lemur866] Not even Chuck Norris can punch a tiger in the head hard enough to disable it. [/QUOTE] [urgent whisper] _Shhhh! Dude, he’s gonna **HEAR YOU**._ [/uw] :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/50 "2007-10-10T20:28:14Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] I agree - if you have the chance to confound or startle it… [/QUOTE] I don’t think Confuse-A-Cat Ltd. could get to you fast enough to help. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/51 "2007-10-10T20:29:21Z")
[QUOTE=Mr. Slant] …Sure, give me an A-10 Warthog and I’ll hunt T-Rex all day, with occasional breaks for fuel and ammo. [/QUOTE] Now, that’s the story Ray Bradbury _should_ have written! ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/52 "2007-10-10T20:54:07Z")
[QUOTE=Mr. Slant] Sure, give me an A-10 Warthog and I’ll hunt T-Rex all day, with occasional breaks for fuel and ammo. [/QUOTE] [Not these T-Rexes!](http://sdowner.deviantart.com/art/Calvin-and-Hobbes-Dino-Strip-14222868) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/53 "2007-10-10T21:49:12Z")
Heh. I love the goggles on the T-Rexes. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/54 "2007-10-10T22:01:29Z")
What if you did something like jam your fist down its throat? Do you think it would asphyxiate before it could gnaw your arm off? Semi-serious on this… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/55 "2007-10-10T22:20:35Z")
That has, in the past, worked with smaller cats. I’m going to say a lion could probably dislodge your arm pretty quickly due to its size and strength. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2007, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/56 "2007-10-14T11:58:50Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] Pfffft, big deal. It’s a _herbivore_. Best bet vs. a lion? Make yourself look big. [/QUOTE] What tell the lion that you’ve had loads of women and that you own a Porsche? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2007, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/57 "2007-10-14T12:28:15Z")
Not unless you told it you had a prepared Batman in the Porsche. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2007, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/58 "2007-10-14T16:53:00Z")
[QUOTE=Lust4Life] What tell the lion that you’ve had loads of women and that you own a Porsche? [/QUOTE] I’d throw in an oblique reference to Harvard, just to be safe. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2007, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118/59 "2007-10-14T16:57:46Z")
Reminds me of the two blokes who become aware that they’re being stalked by a leopard . One man starts running and his mate shouts out “Your wasting your time ,you cant outpace a leopard” The running man shouts back “I dont have to ,Ionly have to outpace you” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/human-with-no-weapons-vs-lion-or-tiger/422118.md?page=2)