# Humiliating and Ridiculous Celebrity Crushes? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 14, 2001, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367 "2001-05-14T02:23:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2002, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/101 "2002-08-18T04:27:21Z")
Kathy Ireland. I have all 3 of her Miller beer commercials on tape. In my safety deposit box. She is the only reason I would even consider looking in a K-Mart circular. Now for the really strange. I have a picture of a young lady taken in the early 50’s. Blonde, bright smile, perfect makeup. She was at the time a rising singer. When I found out who was in the picture, a strange fixation of my life was answered. She was in the Mary Tyler Moore show. Then, yes I admit it, I watched her in Golden Girls. It is Betty White. She is 25 years older than me, I don’t think it would work out. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2002, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/102 "2002-08-18T04:47:19Z")
Ah, some of these memories have faded, but here they are: Robert Conrad and Ross Martin from the old Wild,Wild West tv show…always thought Jim West would be so much fun, but Artemus would be the keeper. Robert Wagner…cool, sophisticated, always in control Phil Collins… something about that smile that makes me very happy…and he plays piano, too! Ryan Styles… saw him on some program recently where he wasn’t “on”… he is even cuter then! Patrick Stewart of Star Trek TNG fame…can’t wait for this new movie. Okay, that’s enough embarassment for one evening! ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2002, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/103 "2002-08-18T05:06:22Z")
David Bowie, just based on seeing him in \*Labyrinth[i/]. Jennifer Connely ain’t bad in there, either. I just bought that–maybe I’ll go watch it…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2002, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/104 "2002-08-18T05:15:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by frock75 \* > \*\*now that you mention kid’s programs…i’ve had some rather nasty thoughts about the clown on the big comfy couch show. also, does anyone remember the show Xuxia? was that not every stay at home father’s wet dream or what? \*\* Big Comfy Couch was one of those childrens programs I wouldn’t miss when I was the one taking care of my stepdaughter. That clown IS cute. I also have crushes on both Janeane Garofalo and Tina Fey… ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2002, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/105 "2002-08-18T06:10:25Z")
At the age of 5, I was completely smitten by the ever so handsome **Speed Racer** Yes, in kindergarten I lusted after a cartoon character. Looking back, I’m guessing it was the neck kerchief, tied at that rakish angle, that got me going ---
**Author:** ![TVGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@TVGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2002, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/106 "2002-08-18T23:36:03Z")
How could you NOT lust after Speedy?!?!? He’s such a major twinkie-cutie pie. and the Mach V … ooooohhh, I get the shivers just thinking about those armored tire protectors… ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2002, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/107 "2002-08-19T04:27:08Z")
See, most of these aren’t really embarassing; they just fall into the “hot celebrity” mold. That said, I don’t know whether my ridiculous celebrity crush really fits the topic, but it’s certainly more likely since the debut of her new TV show… That’s right, I’m talking about Anna Nicole Smith. :o I can’t help it; I’ve _always_ thought she was way hot. Even though she seems to have gained a bit of weight (and seems to be totally wasted at least half the time on her show). So sue me. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2002, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/108 "2002-08-19T07:12:47Z")
Apparently, I’m supposed to be ashamed of my crush on Anjelica Huston. I get funny looks from most people when I mention this one. Even from a friend at work (who I also have a crush on, for her looks, sexy laugh, and killer personality) who looks somewhat like her. When her character in _The Royal Tennebaums_ said something about not having been with a man in 18 years, I said what a shame and waste it was, even though it was just a character in a movie. Brenda Butner - the financial reporter on Fox News Channel. She’s a Rhodes scholar (which usually doesn’t impress me) who discusses money and stocks while wearing lip gloss, sleeveless ribbed turtlenecks, and leather skirts. She can do a hostile takeover of me anytime. Monica Seles- I know that she’s not that good looking, but there’s something about the combination of her wild hair (when she wears it down in interviews and commercials), her athletic build, her accent, and **those** noises (you know the ones) she makes when playing tennis. I keep telling myself, “There’s a woman who would be fun in bed.” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2002, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/109 "2002-08-19T15:45:24Z")
**Crystal Bernard** from Wings and Happy Days. She lives/lived around this area, we’re around the same age, and I know she’d love me if she’d only give me half a chance. If anyone out there knows her will you ask her to send me an email? ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2002, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/110 "2002-08-19T20:43:06Z")
I’ve sat through Gosford Park three times just to watch the magnetic **Clive Owen**. And Croupier. And Century. And Second Sight on PBS’ Mystery! I’m even thinking of seeing the Bourne Identity for his sake. I’m sick, I tell you! ---
**Author:** ![knarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@knarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knarf)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2002, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/111 "2002-08-19T21:07:52Z")
I was never embarrassed about my crush on Elizabeth (E. G.) Daily until she started doing voice work. Hearing her voice from Tommy Pickles, Babe the pig , or Buttercup of the Powerpuff girls is pretty disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2002, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/112 "2002-08-20T01:23:10Z")
Steve Perry. It’s an 80’s thing. I never thought I’d be attracted to a guy that used cream rinse, but there you go. He’s 50 now. I’m 36. He hasn’t released a record in years but I still think about him. It’s getting embarrassing. Patrick Rafter. I lust from afar in my stadium seat. He’s so young he probably doesn’t even know who Steve Perry is. I’m invisible to him on every level imaginable. It’s embarrassing. Mark Wahlberg - I have a crush on a guy who called himself Marky Mark. 'Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2002, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/113 "2002-08-20T01:36:46Z")
Does anyone remember Bobby Sherman? He’s a paramedic somewhere in California now but I thought he was the handsomest man in the world when I was around 12-13 years old. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2002, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/114 "2002-08-20T02:03:27Z")
You want ridiculous and humiliating? I’ll give you ridiculous and humiliating: **Laura Bush**! That’s right, the **[sub] First Lady of the United States[/sub]** is [HOT!](http://www.whitehouse.gov/firstlady/) I want her for my very own. _[sub]Slinks away, humiliated[/sub]_ ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2002, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/115 "2002-08-20T03:09:25Z")
**John Carter** , are you by any chance a patient of the, um…“rest home facility” in Tuscaloosa? At least you didn’t say Barbara Bush. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2002, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/116 "2002-08-20T03:40:18Z")
No, no, **widdershins**. There are many things in this complex and confusing life that I’m unsure of, but one thing I do know: I have absolutely no association with any Tuscaloosa-based facility. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@bwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bwk)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2002, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/117 "2002-08-20T05:10:37Z")
I used to have the biggest crush on Steve Perry. I just adored him. I saw photos of him from the 70s, wow. He had great hair. And of course, the voice. I wanted him to come on over and serenade me anytime. ‘She’s Mine’ on his first solo album really knocks me out. Then I kind of went in other directions… I didn’t like the recent solo effort or the recent group effort when he was still in there. And _then_ I saw him on Behind the Music. If you haven’t seen it, don’t look. Trust me! ---
**Author:** ![Hattrick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/34f0e0/32.png) [@Hattrick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hattrick)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2002, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/118 "2002-08-20T11:04:01Z")
Now my time to drool Publicly… Alyson Hannigan (‘and one time at band camp’), Red headed Lust bunny take me away seems the girl next door types just blow me away. ::Cold Sweats:: Cold Shower time… ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2002, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/119 "2002-08-20T16:34:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Badtz Maru \* > \*\* > > Big Comfy Couch was one of those childrens programs I wouldn’t miss when I was the one taking care of my stepdaughter. That clown IS cute. > > I also have crushes on both Janeane Garofalo and Tina Fey… \*\* When I was working 3rd shift, the only thing that was on television when I got home was Big Comfy Couch and Bill Nye. Thank God I’m not the only one who thought that was one cute clown… [Knock yourselves out, guys.](http://alyson.lionhart321.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Judith\_Prietht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b19c9b/32.png) [@Judith\_Prietht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Judith_Prietht)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2002, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367/120 "2002-08-20T16:34:53Z")
I was so certain that I’d be the first and only person to cop to the Ryan Stiles crush. I have been beaten. I’m actually also highly attracted to Diedrich Bader (Oswald on the Drew Carey Show), Kevin Sorbo (since the early-days Pert commercials and oh my stars in Hercules), Kevin Pollack, Joel Goodson from MST3K, and Trey Parker of South Park (I’m trying desperately to find a cheap video copy of Baseketball, of all godforsaken films). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humiliating-and-ridiculous-celebrity-crushes/65367.md?page=7)