# Humor--Henry Ford Bill Gates. Maybe not funny? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 30, 2012, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592 "2012-05-30T22:33:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cynyc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@cynyc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cynyc)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2012, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/1 "2012-05-30T22:33:25Z")
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, ‘If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.’ In response to Bill Gates’s comments, Ford issued a press release, stating: 'If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part): 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash… twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads. 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single ‘This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation’ warning light. 7. The airbag system would ask ‘Are you sure?’ before deploying. 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as in the old car. 10. You’d have to press the ‘Start’ button to turn the engine off. PS - I 'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call ‘customer service’ in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2012, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/2 "2012-05-30T22:42:00Z")
> [@cynyc](#): > > For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. Ah, it’s the joke that was making the rounds in the '90s. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2012, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/3 "2012-05-30T22:51:09Z")
New to me. Funny. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2012, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/4 "2012-05-30T23:04:25Z")
1997 called, they want their spam back. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2012, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/5 "2012-05-30T23:05:47Z")
Was this COMDEX '96? Of course these days, Gates could say back to Ford: “The government said we were too successful and broke us up. They also said you were too much of a failure and glued you back together.” ---
**Author:** ![fumster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2012, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/6 "2012-05-30T23:27:42Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Ah, it’s the joke that was making the rounds in the '90s. 😉 I think it was the 80s ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2012, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/7 "2012-05-30T23:32:15Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Ah, it’s the joke that was making the rounds in the '90s. 😉 It’s a moldie but goodie. ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2012, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/8 "2012-05-30T23:35:39Z")
> [@cynyc](#): > > 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash… twice a day. If your computer crashes twice a day every day there is definitely a reason for it. > [@](#): > > 1. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. I assume this refers to software compatibility breaking between Windows versions. This hasn’t really been an issue for a dozen years now. However, Windows on ARM (Windows 8 for tablets) will not run x86 code but will look exactly like desktop Windows. This is going to frustrate the few people who buy a Win8 tablet expecting it to work like a Win8 desktop. > [@](#): > > 1. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. See item 1 on the list, this type of scenario is commonly caused by hardware faults. > [@](#): > > 1. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. Occasionally making a left turn in your car will cause it to have a devastating collision with a solid object. Those who do not drive carefully will have this issue more often than those who do. > [@](#): > > 1. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads. Apple’s strict control of their hardware results in a more stable (but less versatile) experience overall. But the sun does not shine out of Apple’s ass. A quick browse of the support section of Apple’s website shows they have no shortage of issues. > [@](#): > > 1. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single ‘This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation’ warning light. The BSOD is a “check engine” light, not the equivalent of the above lights. When you are told to check engine you don’t stare at the light on the dash until it gives you answers. > [@](#): > > 1. The airbag system would ask ‘Are you sure?’ before deploying. It does, otherwise it might go off in your face when you’re going over speedbumps. Also, what is the equivalent of an airbag in a computer? > [@](#): > > 1. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. Again, just because the user does not understand the reason for a fault does not mean that it was random and arbitrary. > [@](#): > > 1. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as in the old car. Anyone who has ever rented a car has already dealt with this. But you don’t have to learn how to drive all over again, you just need to learn where the buttons are. > [@](#): > > 1. You’d have to press the ‘Start’ button to turn the engine off. This is already the case. What part of the car are you manipulating when you turn the key? The starter. And when you turn it the other way to shut the vehicle off…? ---
**Author:** ![Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunzio_Tavulari)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/9 "2012-05-31T00:45:06Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Was this COMDEX '96? > > Of course these days, Gates could say back to Ford: “The government said we were too successful and broke us up. They also said you were too much of a failure and glued you back together.” Ford has never needed and did not take assistance from the government. You’re thinking of General Motors and that Italian company that was given Chrysler for pennies, who then turned around and fleeced the US for money to save an “American” tradition. From last week’s news: > [@](#): > > In 2006, Ford pledged its famous logo, along with virtually all of its U.S. assets, as collateral to secure a $23.5 billion loan to restructure its ailing business. At the time, Ford was criticized for betting the company, including all its factories and other trademarks like Mustang and F-150, to take on more debt, but the loan ended up being Ford’s savior, providing an important cushion that allowed it to escape bankruptcy a few years later, unlike General Motors and Chrysler Group. But if you’re curious, you can dig up the numbers that Toyota squeezed from US and state governments to build their 13 factories in the US. ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/10 "2012-05-31T00:54:16Z")
> [@DWMarch](#): > > If your computer crashes twice a day every day there is definitely a reason for it. > > I assume this refers to software compatibility breaking between Windows versions. This hasn’t really been an issue for a dozen years now. ☹ Umm. . . Did you miss the fact that this joke is well over a dozen years old? Just in case you’re really young, (or have forgotten), let me assure you that the stuff in this joke did in fact used to happen. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/11 "2012-05-31T00:54:28Z")
Seriously, **cynyc** , you never read this before? ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/12 "2012-05-31T00:57:19Z")
> [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](#): > > Ford has never needed and did not take assistance from the government. [Except they did.](http://www.sustainablebusiness.com/index.cfm/go/news.display/id/18900) > [@](#): > > You’re thinking of General Motors and that Italian company that was given Chrysler for pennies, who then turned around and fleeced the US for money to save an “American” tradition. FIAT is treating Chrysler a hell of a lot better than the Germans ever did. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/13 "2012-05-31T00:58:35Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Seriously, **cynyc** , you never read this before? It probably came and went before he was born. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/14 "2012-05-31T01:10:59Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Was this COMDEX '96? COMDEX hasn’t even been held since 2003, to give you an idea of how old the joke is. ---
**Author:** ![Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunzio_Tavulari)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/15 "2012-05-31T01:33:19Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > [Except they did.](http://www.sustainablebusiness.com/index.cfm/go/news.display/id/18900)That was not part of the bailout package. The government gives out grants like that all the time. We just had a thread on whether the military should be using alternative energy. > > FIAT is treating Chrysler a hell of a lot better than the Germans ever did. I wrote up a several paragraph response, but it is off-topic for the thread. In short, they are not more successful at it than Daimler-Benz. ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/16 "2012-05-31T01:35:30Z")
The way I heard it, it was General Motors, not Ford: [General Motors Replies to Bill Gates | Snopes.com](http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/autos.asp). ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/17 "2012-05-31T02:16:50Z")
> [@DWMarch](#): > > This is already the case. What part of the car are you manipulating when you turn the key? The starter. And when you turn it the other way to shut the vehicle off…? The stopper. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/18 "2012-05-31T03:14:03Z")
> [@DWMarch](#): > > I assume this refers to software compatibility breaking between Windows versions. This hasn’t really been an issue for a dozen years now. However, Windows on ARM (Windows 8 for tablets) will not run x86 code but will look exactly like desktop Windows. This is going to frustrate the few people who buy a Win8 tablet expecting it to work like a Win8 desktop. I think this is the main reason for such a dramatic redesign. What I don’t get is why they couldn’t keep the redesign on tablets, call the OS something else, and them make Windows 8 gradually move towards the new UI. Then Windows 9 comes along and works on both. Also, there’s no technical reason they can’t run x86 code on ARM–they are planning to allow this very thing to run Office. They are employing signatures to keep other programs from being able to access this sort of thing. I predict that there will be a sort of jailbreaking software that will allow users to use this mode–though it wouldn’t surprise me if the emulation is not 100% compatible. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/19 "2012-05-31T03:42:45Z")
> [@cynyc](#): > > At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, > ‘If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.’ But the cars would be the size of a quarter. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592/20 "2012-05-31T14:07:06Z")
> [@cynyc](#): > > In response to Bill Gates’s comments, Ford issued a press release, stating: Yes, of course they did. And then Anheuser-Busch issued a press release listing the reasons why beer is better than women. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humor-henry-ford-bill-gates-maybe-not-funny/623592.md?page=2)