# Humorous signs and warnings **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [March 6, 2022, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564 "2022-03-06T15:16:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Crane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crane/32/3495_2.png) [@Crane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crane)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/1 "2022-03-06T15:16:19Z")
Humorous twists to challenges, warnings and cautions, stuff like: “Don’t even think of parking here. Toads will be violated” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/2 "2022-03-06T15:24:27Z")
[![](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/97/58/29/9758299439f05de02079c86b59642660.jpg) ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/97/58/29/9758299439f05de02079c86b59642660.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/3 "2022-03-06T15:34:54Z")
[![](https://i.imgur.com/Gh1LVJd.jpg) ](https://i.imgur.com/Gh1LVJd.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/4 "2022-03-06T15:38:49Z")
[![](https://i.imgflip.com/1dzl8m.jpg) ](https://i.imgflip.com/1dzl8m.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/5 "2022-03-06T15:40:59Z")
I laughed! ---
**Author:** ![Crane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crane/32/3495_2.png) [@Crane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crane)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/6 "2022-03-06T15:41:05Z")
Is this posted as a warning? Context? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/7 "2022-03-06T15:43:53Z")
The title says “Humorous signs and warnings”. There was a certain amount of ambiguity. ---
**Author:** ![Crane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crane/32/3495_2.png) [@Crane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crane)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/8 "2022-03-06T15:49:26Z")
Oh yeah, the problems not the sign. It’s my cluelessness. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/9 "2022-03-06T15:51:17Z")
I don’t know how old that one is, but it’s probably referring to this series of news stories: > **[Police investigate reports of clowns trying to lure kids into woods in South...](https://globalnews.ca/news/2913622/police-investigate-reports-of-clowns-trying-to-lure-kids-into-woods-in-south-carolina/)** > > Police in Greenville, South Carolina have stepped up patrols after receiving more reports of people dressed in clown outfits trying to lure children into the woods. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/10 "2022-03-06T15:51:51Z")
> [@Crane](#): > > Oh yeah, the problems not the sign. It’s my cluelessness. We’ll be careful. [![](https://www.mysafetysign.com/img/lg/S/crane-operating-overhead-danger-sign-s-6954.png) ](https://www.mysafetysign.com/img/lg/S/crane-operating-overhead-danger-sign-s-6954.png) ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/11 "2022-03-06T15:53:00Z")
My favorite from **The Far Side** (paraphrased, because I can’t find it anywhere): Old lady is putting up Beware of Dog sign – “Beware of the cutest little ball of fluff in the whole wide world.” ---
**Author:** ![Crane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crane/32/3495_2.png) [@Crane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crane)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/12 "2022-03-06T15:56:34Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > probably referring to this series of news stories: Now that’s scary! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/13 "2022-03-06T15:57:34Z")
I saw a pic of a no trespassing sign that said “If you try to cross this field better do it in 9.9 seconds. The bulls do it in 10.” ---
**Author:** ![Crane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crane/32/3495_2.png) [@Crane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crane)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/14 "2022-03-06T16:02:47Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > “If you try to cross this field better do it in 9.9 seconds. The bulls do it in 10.” My daughter has a similar one: “It takes our dogs 4 1/2 seconds to reach this sign” ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/15 "2022-03-06T17:10:46Z")
T shirt: “Caution, I go from zero to bitch in 6 seconds”. ---
**Author:** ![Crane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crane/32/3495_2.png) [@Crane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crane)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/16 "2022-03-06T17:12:25Z")
Notice above urinals on Air Base near Amarillo TX: “Craft with short stacks and low manifold pressure, please taxi up close” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/17 "2022-03-06T18:04:18Z")
[![](https://pics.me.me/warning-laser-hazard-big-scary-l-do-not-look-into-28670772.png) ](https://pics.me.me/warning-laser-hazard-big-scary-l-do-not-look-into-28670772.png) I’ve seen this used as an actual safety hazard warning sign in optics labs. [![](https://public.nrao.edu/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/gallery-images-largerabbit_large.jpg) ](https://public.nrao.edu/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/gallery-images-largerabbit_large.jpg) This is from the National Radio Astronomical Observatory, in Green Bank, WV. Spark plugs produce interference for the radio telescopes, so only diesel vehicles and bicycles are allowed past the main gate. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/18 "2022-03-06T18:13:17Z")
[![](https://i.redd.it/slms0lowir311.jpg) ](https://i.redd.it/slms0lowir311.jpg) I’ve actually driven by this sign on Route 29 bypassing Hurt, Virgina. I remember another sign saying something to the effect of “Hurt, Next 3 Exits”. ---
**Author:** ![Heracles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heracles/32/487_2.png) [@Heracles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heracles)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/19 "2022-03-06T18:14:16Z")
In a gym I went to a few years back (translated from French) : > If you’re not strong enough to put the weights back on their racks, go get a girl at the reception desk, she’ll be happy to help you ! ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/20 "2022-03-06T18:28:32Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > [https://i.imgflip.com/1dzl8m.jpg](https://i.imgflip.com/1dzl8m.jpg) [![](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/71/ac/0e/71ac0e27de017774901e5a6f229a4595.jpg) ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/71/ac/0e/71ac0e27de017774901e5a6f229a4595.jpg) Now they just need to be combined into a Cyberclown. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564.md?page=2)