# Humorous signs and warnings **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [March 6, 2022, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564 "2022-03-06T15:16:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Kzbre5m](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kzbre5m](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kzbre5m)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/221 "2022-04-29T22:31:44Z")
My first phone had the newfangled GPS. She had a slight sigh every time she said “recalculating route”. I think her tiny brain exploded after a couple days with me. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2022, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/222 "2022-04-30T02:13:13Z")
All these stories we read about GPS-based navigators telling drivers to make Very Bad Mistakes (and drivers sometimes actually doing so)! What will happen when self-driving cars are navigating by these systems? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2022, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/223 "2022-04-30T02:16:14Z")
Nothing, because self-driving cars won’t be navigating by these systems, any more than humans are now. GPS and digital roadmaps will be part of self-driving systems, of course, but so will eyes watching the road. There will still be occasional accidents, of course, but not nearly as many as there are right now with human drivers (who very often don’t have eyes watching the road). ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2022, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/224 "2022-04-30T03:45:48Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Back in the '80s, I snapped a photo at a mini-mall in Roseville, MN, where a women’s clothing outlet was located next to a sporting goods store. Taken together, their adjacent display windows A few years ago in Dallas, there were two adjacent stores on North Central (that’s I-75 to y’all). I passed them every day on my way home from work for years … including right after my husband died, for extra morbid humor: - [Casket Store](http://www.casketstoredallas.com/) … and next door: - Boxes R Us ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2022, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/225 "2022-04-30T03:51:02Z")
Eeek! 😟 ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2022, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/226 "2022-04-30T03:52:55Z")
(Boxes R Us was a moving store.) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2022, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/227 "2022-04-30T03:57:33Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I passed them every day on my way home from work for years … including right after my husband died, for extra morbid humor: > > - [Casket Store](http://www.casketstoredallas.com/) > … and next door: > - Boxes R Us - The box store is gone. There’s a pet groomer and a restaurant flanking the casket store. And the casket store has 30 minute parking. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2022, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/228 "2022-05-03T21:31:21Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > I could almost hear the, “Fine!” before she did. I had a TomTom. It was a Father’s Day gift, and the boys got me the Snoop Dogg and Darth Vader voice files. I was very disappointed that the Vader one didn’t add “I find your lack of faith disturbing” when recalculating. Snoop was fun - when routing you onto a toll road he’d ask “How much money you got?”. ---
**Author:** ![MikeF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MikeF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeF)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2022, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/229 "2022-05-04T19:06:30Z")
I had a similar experience with Tom Tom while driving in Nova Scotia. It directed us off the main road and onto a dirt logging road. Unlike you, I followed it. We were in a 4WD with lots of gas and I figured the pavement would resume shortly. I figured wrong. 30 plus miles later averaging 15-20 mph and seeing not another person, we were back on the blacktop. I still like to have an actual road atlas in the car when driving long distances. I’ll check out the overall route before starting and keep it handy. Also, they often have actual signs indicating which way you should be going. Whoda thunk! ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2022, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/230 "2022-05-04T19:11:53Z")
Like in _Twister_ when Rabbit follows “Bob’s road” which suddenly connects back to a paved road? One of my favorite scenes. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2022, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/231 "2022-05-04T20:44:06Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > A few years ago in **Dallas** , there were two adjacent stores on North Central ( **that’s I-75** to y’all). Bolding added… [Are you sure I-75 runs through Dallas](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interstate_75)? ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2022, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/232 "2022-05-04T21:19:34Z")
From [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_Expressway_(Dallas)): > **Central Expressway** is a north–south [highway](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highway) in [Dallas](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dallas,_Texas), [Texas](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas) ([USA](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States)) and surrounding areas. The best-known section is the **North Central Expressway** , a name for a [freeway](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freeway) section of [U.S. Highway 75](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Highway_75_(Texas)) between downtown Dallas and [McKinney, Texas](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McKinney,_Texas). It’s state highway 75, not I-75. Easy enough mistake to make. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2022, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/233 "2022-05-05T05:17:14Z")
They started the numbers on the interstate system with the low numbers in the west (I-5) to avoid confusion with the US system’s low numbers in the east )US-1) just for that reason. I guess in the middle there was some unavoidable overlap. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Burden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/958977/32.png) [@Jack\_Burden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Burden)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2022, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/234 "2022-05-05T16:47:32Z")
Would be strange to have both I-35 and I-75 running through the same city. DFW is a big sprawling mess of a metroplex, but not that big. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2022, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/235 "2022-05-07T12:48:59Z")
I-75 runs up thru Florida, Atlanta, GA, & Knoxville, eastern Tennessee. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2022, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/236 "2022-05-09T14:21:38Z")
Ditto me with Google Maps when driving from Crater of Diamonds (Arkansas) to Oklahoma City. It had us turn west on this road that was paved, but then it felt like we were on dirt, but we kept going as long as the road did. Eventually we found ourselves on OK-3 near Haworth, without ever having seen a “Welcome to Oklahoma” sign that we expected we’d see when we crossed the state border. I look at maps now and still have no idea exactly how we got from point A to point B. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2022, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/237 "2022-05-09T23:41:29Z")
Not far from our house, there’s a big sign that says, “This is God’s country. Don’t drive like Hell through it.” ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2022, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/238 "2022-05-10T17:28:25Z")
So, no “Highway To Hell” allowed on the car stereo? ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2022, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/239 "2022-05-10T20:49:33Z")
I used to pass by a church that had one of those signs that could be changed to a different message. One message that made me smile was posted during football season, and said, “Let’s meet at my house on Sunday, before the game. – God.” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2022, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/240 "2022-05-11T00:32:57Z")
This is too good to be for real: > **[CHURCH SIGNS DEBATE WHETHER DOGS GO TO HEAVEN | TheDogPress](https://www.thedogpress.com/Funny/All-Dogs-To-Heaven.asp)** > > Look carefully at the 7 SIGNS as Catholics debate Presbyterians down to the last word on whether Dogs Go To Heaven. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564.md?page=13)