# Humorous signs and warnings **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [March 6, 2022, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564 "2022-03-06T15:16:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/21 "2022-03-06T18:39:58Z")
There’s a store in Berkley, MI which specializes in nostalgia items. The place is called “Time Travelers” and their lot has signs saying “Parking for Time Travelers Only.” ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/22 "2022-03-06T18:51:36Z")
There is the town motto for Biggar, Saskatchewan: > **[Biggar, Saskatchewan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biggar,_Saskatchewan)** > > Pages for logged out editors learn more > > > Biggar is a town in central Saskatchewan, Canada. It is located on Highway 14, 93 kilometres (58 mi) west of Saskatoon, the province's most populous city. > Biggar has become well known for its unusual town slogan, an Olympic athlete, and a world-record deer. The town was featured on American morning newsmagazine The Today Show in February 2010 as part of an ongoing Canadian-oriented segment during the 2010 Winter Olympics. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/23 "2022-03-06T18:53:37Z")
Circa 2000 there was a web humor site with parody text for a real airlines safety placard — you know, those cartoonishly drawn instructions on what to do in an emergency. The funniest panel was rewritten: “Passengers with Eighties hairdos will be tossed into the ocean.” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/24 "2022-03-06T18:56:48Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > There is the town motto for Biggar, Saskatchewan: > > [Biggar, Saskatchewan - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biggar,_Saskatchewan) They didn’t consider “Biggar is Better”? ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/25 "2022-03-06T19:04:47Z")
> [@Crane](#): > > “Don’t even think of parking here. Toads will be violated” [![](https://i.imgur.com/HLcQQQI.jpg) ](https://i.imgur.com/HLcQQQI.jpg) [![](https://i.imgur.com/kcdpJ7d.jpg) ](https://i.imgur.com/kcdpJ7d.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/26 "2022-03-06T19:06:42Z")
Sign for Gotham England: [![](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/mcs/media/images/71798000/jpg/_71798915_tpgothamcomp.jpg) ](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/mcs/media/images/71798000/jpg/_71798915_tpgothamcomp.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/27 "2022-03-06T19:12:18Z")
Not that I’m aware of. 😀 I’m not even going to link to another motto that got changed a while ago. ---
**Author:** ![Crane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crane/32/3495_2.png) [@Crane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crane)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/28 "2022-03-06T19:16:05Z")
I think it was a National Airlines pilot giving the pitch: “Once airborne the flight attendants will require anyone detected smoking to deplane immediately” ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/29 "2022-03-06T19:23:37Z")
An effective warning sign: [![](https://www.tradeskills4u.co.uk/storage/uploads/693x411_center_30072019-110834.jpeg) ](https://www.tradeskills4u.co.uk/storage/uploads/693x411_center_30072019-110834.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/30 "2022-03-06T19:33:46Z")
[![](https://www.tradeskills4u.co.uk/storage/uploads/693x403_center_30072019-110854.jpeg) ](https://www.tradeskills4u.co.uk/storage/uploads/693x403_center_30072019-110854.jpeg) [https://media.istockphoto.com/photos/sign-near-a-childrens-playground-picture-id1320395970?k=20&m=1320395970&s=612x612&w=0&h=iyVpDnHdu1oFW2Z\_AjuBYnuEoTALJ6Ydgrj8\_n4roaw=](https://media.istockphoto.com/photos/sign-near-a-childrens-playground-picture-id1320395970?k=20&m=1320395970&s=612x612&w=0&h=iyVpDnHdu1oFW2Z_AjuBYnuEoTALJ6Ydgrj8_n4roaw=) ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/31 "2022-03-06T19:34:41Z")
_ **All personnel are required to shower before reporting for work.** If I have to kiss your ass to get you to do your job, I at least want it to be clean._ ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/32 "2022-03-06T19:39:50Z")
A friend swiped a placard from a commercial fishing boat and gave it to me. I hung it on our most recent pontoon boat. It read something along the lines of: “Any injuries occurring on this vessel must be reported to the captain in a timely manner”. Guests on the boat often read and reread the sign, but nobody ever questioned it. It looked “official”. When I sold the boat the sign remained. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/33 "2022-03-06T19:55:02Z")
More stupid than humorous, but randomly I get a huge warning on my trucks display about taking eyes off the road to use that system. This happens while I’m driving. You have to take your eyes off the road to read that warning, and you have to take a hand off the steering wheel to press the “ok” icon. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/34 "2022-03-06T19:57:11Z")
I have seen this pseudo-German warning in a few electronics shops. **Achtung: Das machine ist nicht fer gerfingerpoken und mittengraben. Ist easy snappen der springenwerk blowenfusen, und corkenpoppin mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fer gewerken by das dumpkofen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen das hands in das pockets. Relaxen und watchen das blinkenlights** ---
**Author:** ![Bootb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@Bootb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootb)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/35 "2022-03-06T20:43:57Z")
I like to peruse [despair.com](http://despair.com) every so often. This is probably my favorite. [![](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0535/6917/products/mistakesdemotivator.jpeg) ](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0535/6917/products/mistakesdemotivator.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/36 "2022-03-06T20:47:36Z")
I’ve seen that one before. Reminds me of “Gellarese”. [https://www.google.com/search?q=gellerese&hl=en&tbm=isch&sxsrf=APq-WBs0TjKKK2Y-0KlR8EgwhZ2rVK43Ig%3A1646599627159&source=hp&biw=1175&bih=782&ei=yx0lYqXGB8ra0PEPzoug6A0&iflsig=AHkkrS4AAAAAYiUr2\_gHrGaJ-RiCcjMcsKl6Q1y3HZZT&oq=gell&gs\_lcp=CgNpbWcQARgAMgcIIxDvAxAnMgsIABCABBCxAxCDATIFCAAQgAQyBQgAEIAEMgUIABCABDIFCAAQgAQyBQgAEIAEMgUIABCABDIFCAAQgAQyBQgAEIAEOgoIIxDvAxDqAhAnOggIABCxAxCDAToICAAQgAQQsQNQ-AhYtg1gkCRoAXAAeACAAUaIAf8BkgEBNJgBAKABAaoBC2d3cy13aXotaW1nsAEK&sclient=img](https://www.google.com/search?q=gellerese&hl=en&tbm=isch&sxsrf=APq-WBs0TjKKK2Y-0KlR8EgwhZ2rVK43Ig%3A1646599627159&source=hp&biw=1175&bih=782&ei=yx0lYqXGB8ra0PEPzoug6A0&iflsig=AHkkrS4AAAAAYiUr2_gHrGaJ-RiCcjMcsKl6Q1y3HZZT&oq=gell&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQARgAMgcIIxDvAxAnMgsIABCABBCxAxCDATIFCAAQgAQyBQgAEIAEMgUIABCABDIFCAAQgAQyBQgAEIAEMgUIABCABDIFCAAQgAQyBQgAEIAEOgoIIxDvAxDqAhAnOggIABCxAxCDAToICAAQgAQQsQNQ-AhYtg1gkCRoAXAAeACAAUaIAf8BkgEBNJgBAKABAaoBC2d3cy13aXotaW1nsAEK&sclient=img) ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2022, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/37 "2022-03-07T21:20:52Z")
[![](https://preview.redd.it/p30d5vd7nzl81.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=3d0d522bf1cc5c28911da924316ed8685de692a1) ](https://preview.redd.it/p30d5vd7nzl81.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=3d0d522bf1cc5c28911da924316ed8685de692a1) ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2022, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/38 "2022-03-07T21:27:23Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > This is from the National Radio Astronomical Observatory, in Green Bank, WV. Spark plugs produce interference for the radio telescopes, so only diesel vehicles and bicycles are allowed past the main gate. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/TjCZ6k7EzjE/maxresdefault.jpg "Why Wifi is Illegal in Green Bank, West Virginia") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjCZ6k7EzjE) ---
**Author:** ![abcdefghij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/43a26b/32.png) [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2022, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/39 "2022-03-07T21:37:28Z")
Dublin Zoo? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2022, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/40 "2022-03-07T21:38:03Z")
Dunno if the National Park Service actually used this or if only exists on the 'Net. [![](https://www.washingtonian.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/326b4e8f-faf6-4259-af79-889f9635a94fOriginal.jpg) ](https://www.washingtonian.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/326b4e8f-faf6-4259-af79-889f9635a94fOriginal.jpg) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564.md?page=3)