# Humorous signs and warnings **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [March 6, 2022, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564 "2022-03-06T15:16:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2022, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/41 "2022-03-07T21:39:16Z")
Yeess. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2022, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/42 "2022-03-07T22:07:24Z")
Thank you for this thread. I’ve been saving these for years. [![](https://i.imgur.com/7Kyqc5g.png) ](https://i.imgur.com/7Kyqc5g.png) [![](https://i.imgur.com/6AxOS4e.jpg) ](https://i.imgur.com/6AxOS4e.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2022, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/43 "2022-03-07T22:42:00Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > You have to take your eyes off the road to read that warning, and you have to take a hand off the steering wheel to press the “ok” icon. Whereupon it shows _What did we just tell you??_ ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2022, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/44 "2022-03-07T23:29:32Z")
[![Imgur](https://i.imgur.com/8uWVAAT.jpeg "imgur.com") ](https://imgur.com/8uWVAAT) ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2022, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/45 "2022-03-07T23:43:10Z")
Saw this bumper sticker years ago, apparently belonging to a woman. Still makes me grin. **51% Sweetheart, 49% Bitch. Don’t push it.** ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2022, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/46 "2022-03-07T23:59:05Z")
Years ago I saw a sign at an embassy entry door that said ``` **BADGE REQUIRED** ``` **TO BE VISIBLE BEYOND THIS POINT** I asked the Marine guard if I would be invisible without my badge. He didn’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/47 "2022-03-08T01:22:25Z")
Do fictional signs count? In the video game _Portal_, the designers spent a lot of time designing a cool implosion effect, to trigger when the player sabotaged some piece of plot-relevant equipment. Problem was, in playtesting, players would just press the button to trigger the implosion, the immediately turn around and leave, missing the really cool implosion animation they’d worked so hard on. Their solution? [![](https://external-preview.redd.it/2xAeMEWZgblhpOV57D2FvR2_EINeGPmuRJPkBgb7VCI.jpg?auto=webp&s=3e2fb759e9c6b234ac38db7fdf6542ce9577a135) ](https://external-preview.redd.it/2xAeMEWZgblhpOV57D2FvR2_EINeGPmuRJPkBgb7VCI.jpg?auto=webp&s=3e2fb759e9c6b234ac38db7fdf6542ce9577a135) ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/48 "2022-03-08T02:47:14Z")
Hm, apparently I was one of those, because I don’t even remember what piece of equipment was imploded. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/49 "2022-03-08T03:59:22Z")
[![](https://i.postimg.cc/KzMZRfzp/6-F8-CC712-3208-4-FAB-BCF9-65575-A12-B0-E5.jpg) ](https://i.postimg.cc/KzMZRfzp/6-F8-CC712-3208-4-FAB-BCF9-65575-A12-B0-E5.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![alovem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@alovem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alovem)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/50 "2022-03-08T08:15:59Z")
> **[Family planning advice use rear entrance meme](https://ahseeit.com/?qa=206345%2Ffamily-planning-advice-use-rear-entrance-meme)** > > Click To Watch ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/51 "2022-03-08T11:15:25Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > > [@pkbites](#): > > > > You have to take your eyes off the road to read that warning, and you have to take a hand off the steering wheel to press the “ok” icon. > > Whereupon it shows _What did we just tell you??_ Now t_hat_ would actually be funny! [![](https://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/av5KQYW_700b.jpg) ](https://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/av5KQYW_700b.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/52 "2022-03-08T13:33:49Z")
Just saw a bumper sticker this morning. Large letters: **Student Driver,** smaller letters beneath _And screaming parent_. I found it amusing. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/53 "2022-03-08T13:42:56Z")
Not sure if this fits here, but I saw these two bumper stickers on the same car: **Thank you for not breeding** **Save the planet, kill yourself** I was pondering a subscription to that guy’s newletter, but he drove like an ass. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/54 "2022-03-08T14:53:41Z")
^For a few years I had a bumper sticker that read, **Stupid People Shouldn’t Breed**. It was kind of a shame, because the people it was directed at didn’t understand. So many times I’d be walking to my car and there’d be someone reading it, their lips moving and a puzzled expression on their face. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/55 "2022-03-08T16:17:15Z")
One of my favorites was when I was walking into an office building with a large revolving door. It wasn’t in service at the moment and the repair guy working on it was wearing a shirt that said “Please Use Other Door” on the back. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/56 "2022-03-08T17:04:50Z")
Relative to staying four dancing penguins away from each other, wouldn’t that be 8 feet apart? ---
**Author:** ![saucywench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@saucywench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saucywench)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/57 "2022-03-08T19:10:06Z")
Saw this one on a bumper sticker in Arizona… > **[Thread of the Day: Do You Use Your Car's Horn?](https://www.motortrend.com/news/thread-of-the-day-do-you-use-your-cars-horn-3892/)** > > When you're driving, things can happen quick. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/58 "2022-03-08T19:17:05Z")
My girlfriend got a hand massager. It’s like a giant glove that squeezes and heats her whole hand. It came with a whole list of rules. Rule 1: Do not use if you are drunk. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/59 "2022-03-08T19:31:28Z")
[![](https://i.imgur.com/9qq6i20.png) ](https://i.imgur.com/9qq6i20.png) ---
**Author:** ![Drum\_God](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drum_god/32/44_2.png) [@Drum\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drum_God)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/60 "2022-03-08T20:28:17Z")
Among the warning labels stuck to the dashboard of the school buses belonging to a former employer: “Failure to maintain vision in direction of travel may result in injury or death.” Yes, the buses, driven only by people trained and specially licensed for school buses, had a warning label reminding drivers to watch where they’re going. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564.md?page=4)