# Humorous signs and warnings **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [March 6, 2022, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564 "2022-03-06T15:16:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2022, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/121 "2022-03-19T01:19:13Z")
Oh, **carrps** , I wish I could get that sign!!! ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2022, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/122 "2022-03-19T01:39:09Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > That and the dopey car he drives, which seems to be a New Zealand version of the Ford Falcon (of blessed memory). What about the Plymouth Valiant with the pushbutton transmission. I used to drive one of those. > [@Baker](#): > > Oh, **carrps** , I wish I could get that sign!!! Try to google for it. I’ve had it maybe 6 or 7 years it might still be around. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2022, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/123 "2022-03-19T01:57:57Z")
Good news and bad news from the Lost and Found Department. [![](https://i.imgur.com/AOjZy4R.jpg) ](https://i.imgur.com/AOjZy4R.jpg) [![](https://i.imgur.com/tu5DLnL.jpeg) ](https://i.imgur.com/tu5DLnL.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2022, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/124 "2022-03-19T20:19:46Z")
This isn’t exactly a sign - it’s a “message” on the side of a F1 car - but it’s funny (and _clever_) so I’m posting it anyway. Back in the day, Jordan racing were sponsored by Benson & Hedges, a tobacco company. Here’s a picture of the EJ 11 car - you’ll have to click on the image/link to jpg to see properly that it displays the name Benson & Hedges prominently on the rear wing and the side of the car. (Aside - I was going to spoiler these pictures, but it turns out I don’t need to - cool!) > **[File:Jordan EJ11.jpg](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jordan_EJ11.jpg)** With pressure from major markets to stamp out tobacco advertising, F1 introduced a rule preventing cars carrying the name/logo of tobacco companies. The guys at Jordan found a way to sidestep this - at least until the rule was modified: > **[File:Jordan EJ13.jpg](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jordan_EJ13.jpg)** Other “messages” the cars carried at around that time were Buzzin’ Hornets and Bitten Heroes j ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2022, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/125 "2022-03-20T08:05:29Z")
I saw a truck something like this one on the road once, with a smallish inconspicuous bumper sticker on the back that said simply “Ichabod”. [![](https://img.equipmentworld.com/files/base/randallreilly/all/image/2018/10/eqw.National-Crane-responds-to-customer-demand-with-tractor-mounted-version-of-the-NBT30H-2-boom-truck-1.png) ](https://img.equipmentworld.com/files/base/randallreilly/all/image/2018/10/eqw.National-Crane-responds-to-customer-demand-with-tractor-mounted-version-of-the-NBT30H-2-boom-truck-1.png) ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2022, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/126 "2022-03-20T08:10:23Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > But today we were behind a pickup truck that had a “Fuck Biden” sticker . . . Some years ago – back during the 1972 election season to be precise – I saw a car with two Nixon bumper stickers, carefully dissected and arranged to say " NIX  ON  NIXON ". ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2022, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/127 "2022-03-20T15:33:32Z")
Reminds me of the “Escape to Wisconsin” bumper stickers I saw when I was living there in the '80s. Sometimes the “to” was cut out, with which I heartily agreed. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2022, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/128 "2022-03-20T15:35:51Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > (Aside - I was going to spoiler these pictures, but it turns out I don’t need to - cool!) If it was on the wing of the car, wasn’t it already spoilered? ---
**Author:** ![SunUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SunUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunUp)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2022, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/129 "2022-03-20T16:04:12Z")
Perhaps they had another truck named “Frasier.” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2022, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/130 "2022-03-20T16:24:40Z")
Funniest joke from, “Frasier”: Daphne had put on a lot of weight (Jane Leeves was preggers at the time) and was down on the floor for some reason and couldn’t get up. Frasier, Niles and Martin latch on and get her up. Martin mumbles **It took three Cranes to lift her**. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2022, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/131 "2022-03-20T23:43:09Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Reminds me of the “Escape to Wisconsin” bumper stickers I saw when I was living there in the '80s. Sometimes the “to” was cut out, with which I heartily agreed. I heard of a bumper sticker in Atlanta from an aggrieved sports fan. “Go Braves! And take the Hawks with you!” … There’s another bumper sticker that I’m particularly fond of: “wag more, bark less” ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2022, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/132 "2022-03-21T01:12:55Z")
[![](https://dannygregory.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/b7dfad9edc4711e29b2522000a9f13d5_7.jpg?w=739&h=739) ](https://dannygregory.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/b7dfad9edc4711e29b2522000a9f13d5_7.jpg?w=739&h=739) I went to the original Archie McPhee (Accoutrements) store and got a cool shirt with this phrase and a boxing monkey (of course in a fez!). ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2022, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/133 "2022-03-21T12:46:33Z")
Many years ago I reported on a sign I saw while cycling near where I was working at the time. It was attached to the metal fence in front of what appeared to be a normal suburban house WARNING DO NOT ENTER WHILE ALIVE (Don’t have a picture. Sorry) I still don’t know what it was supposed to mean. Was this a Zombie Retirement Community? Was this an electrical warning not to enter while the system was “live”, and the guy just took it and stuck it on his home? ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2022, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/134 "2022-03-21T13:14:55Z")
I would assume it is a cousin of the “No Trespassing - Survivors Will Be Prosecuted” sign? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2022, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/135 "2022-03-21T18:17:32Z")
I remember a sign on a chain blocking a path that read, “Ain’t Nothing In This Hollow Worth Dying Over”. Simple and to the point. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2022, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/136 "2022-03-21T18:48:55Z")
Years ago, a restaurant in Minneapolis hired a young Japanese immigrant as a waitress. If a section was temporarily closed off, she’d post a handwritten sign saying “Is closed please.” Kind of charming when you think about it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2022, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/137 "2022-03-21T18:55:58Z")
_“Beach Logs Kill!”_ – actually a pretty serious warning posted in spots around the Olympic Peninsula. The first time I saw the sign I thought it would make a good poster for a B horror movie. [![](https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51953009139_086168cc99.jpg) ](https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51953009139_086168cc99.jpg) Another sign I saw nearby at Dungeness Spit had the heading _“Enjoy The Spit!”_ ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2022, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/138 "2022-03-22T20:44:37Z")
> [@carrps](#): > > We have a sign near our front door that reads: Death from the ankles down. > > With a silhouette of a dachshund. I took a picture this morning: [![Imgur](https://i.imgur.com/KHE13Bc.jpeg "imgur.com") ](https://imgur.com/KHE13Bc) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2022, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/139 "2022-03-23T11:43:34Z")
Love the cactus/succulents. We have similar, but indoors. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2022, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564/140 "2022-03-23T13:36:28Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > A green arrow on the left said “Passing side”. A red arrow on the right said “Suicide”. I came in here to specifically post my favorite variation on this. The arrow on the left said “Overtaker” and the arrow on the right said “Undertaker.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-signs-and-warnings/960564.md?page=8)