# Humorous things you’ve seen in job postings or resumes
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [June 17, 2022, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393 "2022-06-17T19:41:03Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2022, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/1 "2022-06-17T19:41:03Z")
Resumania has always been good for a laugh during the stress of job hunting.
> **[Resumania™: Emphasize Accomplishments Over Job Duties in Your Resume](https://www.roberthalf.com/blog/writing-a-resume/resumaniatm-emphasize-accomplishments-over-job-duties-in-your-resume)**
>
> When crafting their resumes, many applicants make the mistake of developing exhaustive laundry lists of every job duty they’ve performed. The problem is that prospective employers are far more interested in the impact you made than the tasks you...
As far as what I’ve seen recently, I just saw a job which said the salary range was from $3 to $400,000, that’s quite a range!! From below minimum wage to almost half a million, yes I know it was meant to read $300,000-$400,000 but it was kinda funny.
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### Author:  [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2022, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/2 "2022-06-17T19:46:41Z")
A friend of mine was always irritated by advertisements that said things like “make up to $50,000 a year, or more!” Good, we’ve narrowed down the income range to any positive number.
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### Author:  [@Chad\_Sudan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chad_Sudan)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2022, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/3 "2022-06-17T21:26:03Z")
Looking to hire an advertising manager for a city-guide publication, I received one resume from a young woman who emphasized her experience swimming with and communicating with dolphins.
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### Author:  [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/4 "2022-06-18T02:33:48Z")
A story that was going around in the early 1980s: When IBM first came out with the IBM PC, there were immediately advertisements for programmers with 5 years experience programming it.
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### Author:  [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/5 "2022-06-18T02:39:52Z")
A resume for a young man whom I interviewed in the early 1990s, who was just finishing up his MBA, featured the following in the “additional information” section (where people would mention hobbies and activities, to come across as well-rounded):
“Personal friend of the late coach Woody Hayes”
I imagine that he thought it would be a good “in” if he were interviewing with Ohio State alumni, but in the case of our company, all of us who interviewed him commented on it, and not in a good way.
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### Author:  [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/6 "2022-06-18T02:52:13Z")
My favorite, from an application cover letter, was by a candidate who wished to emphasize how meticulous he was. So he claimed to be known for his “attantion of details.” Three words, three mistakes. The phrase does live on in my workplace as the standard snark for sloppy mistakes.
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### Author:  [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/7 "2022-06-18T03:33:30Z")
In a similar vein, I not infrequently saw typos and other errors in the same sentence where the candidates wrote about their communication skills.
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/8 "2022-06-18T08:31:40Z")
We once got a resume with a personal interest that went something like: “Attempting to be the first person to donate blood in all 50 states. Current count is 41.”
We just _had_ to interview him based on that, even though the rest of his CV wasn’t great.
He was a weirdo and we didn’t hire him. But I sure do _remember_ him.
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### Author:  [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/9 "2022-06-18T08:40:42Z")
My favorite was one I saw in South Korea for a NET (Native English Teacher) job:
- White
- Blonde
- Female
- American
- Blue eyes
- Graduated from university less than a year prior to beginning job
- Ten years experience after graduating university
It’s the time traveler’s dream job!
The most memorable résumé I received when I was working as an HR manager was from a friend of one of our company’s department managers. The résumé was hand-written in pencil, addressed to “Mrs. Monty”, and had no dates for any of the education or employment history. The thing that peeved me the most, of course, was the “Mrs.” bit; I’m a Mr.
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### Author:  [@Capn\_Carl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capn_Carl)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/10 "2022-06-18T09:06:07Z")
Back in the 1990s, a single pc was assigned to our group of 12 technicians. One of the techs, M, was using it to create his resume. He left for home one day and neglected to close his account. Bob, a tech on the next shift, noticed the resume on the pc. Bob added one line to the list of M’s talents. M returned the next day, printed copies of his resume, and sent them out. The line Bob added: Pudwacker Extraordinaire.
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### Author:  [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/11 "2022-06-18T10:05:14Z")
I had the much-avoided job of going through all the applications for graduate positions one year.
We received (separately) two resumes that had clear similarities (same school, same college, same interests and experiences), one from a guy, and one from a girl. The layouts were the same, and they were on blue and pink paper respectively.
Awww, how cuuuute!
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### Author:  [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/12 "2022-06-18T12:34:00Z")
When I supervised a graphic design dept. I used to get some creative resumes, like one that looked like a series of baseball cards (this was in Ye Olden Days, when resumes would be physically mailed in).
The creative ones often worked on me and got them an interview, since it was a creative job. But one was sent in with all sorts of old-timey illustrations, printed on paper that looked like parchment. Either he didn’t have the experience I was looking for or his resume was just too quirky, but for whatever reason I didn’t call him.
A week or so later, he sent another letter with a page showing a picture of a 19th century mentalist type with his arm outstretched, conjuring one of those spinny hypno-disc thingys, saying “I am hypnotizing you into giving me a job interview”. I still didn’t call him. I guess I’m just one of those people who aren’t good subjects for hypnosis 🙄
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### Author:  [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/13 "2022-06-18T12:43:04Z")
I was interviewing interns for a software company and one of them had on his resume that he had worked at Stage West in Edmonton, Alberta. It is (was?) a dinner theatre that is notable for using old TV stars in the main roles. I asked him if he ever got to meet Jamie Farr and he said he did!
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### Author:  [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/14 "2022-06-18T13:42:49Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#):
>
> A resume for a young man whom I interviewed in the early 1990s, who was just finishing up his MBA, featured the following in the “additional information” section (where people would mention hobbies and activities, to come across as well-rounded):
>
> “Personal friend of the late coach Woody Hayes”
That’s brilliant since you can’t prove he’s wrong
“You know Coach Hayes?!”
“Yeah, before he died! You can’t check, though, on account of the death. But if he were alive, he’d totally call you and vouch for me!”
“Really?”
“Oh yeah. Same with General Patton. And Norman Rockwell, too.”
“Impressive!”
> [@Princhester](#):
>
> We received (separately) two resumes that had clear similarities (same school, same college, same interests and experiences), one from a guy, and one from a girl. The layouts were the same, and they were on blue and pink paper respectively.
If I got that, I’d think that I was being subject to one of those experiments where they provide the same exact qualifications but alter something to study prejudices and bigotry (in this case, male versus female). I’d invite both in for an interview- I bet the female is just the guy in a wig.
…
As for me, I’m reminded of this tip: the best way to account for being laid off a job is to write that you were promoted to “fresh air inspector”. Sounds important.
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### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/15 "2022-06-18T13:47:15Z")
> [@Moriarty](#):
>
> “You know Coach Hayes?!”
> “Yeah, before he died! You can’t check, though, on account of the death. But if he were alive, he’d totally call you and vouch for me!”
“And he’d sock you one for doubting me!”
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### Author:  [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/16 "2022-06-18T14:06:52Z")
> [@Cervaise](#):
>
> We once got a resume with a personal interest that went something like: “Attempting to be the first person to donate blood in all 50 states. Current count is 41.”
>
> We just _had_ to interview him based on that, even though the rest of his CV wasn’t great.
We got one for a writing position that had, under Personal Interests…
> • Collecting kitschy mid-century furniture
> (Too much of it; my apartment’s starting to look like Pee Wee’s Playhouse)
Our VP said “ **I don’t care about his qualifications. I want to meet that guy**!”
(Qualifications were average, but he got the job! In spite of being very quiet, not at all like the ‘Pee Wee’ line led us to believe)
ps: If you’re reading this… Hi, Larry!
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### Author:  [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/17 "2022-06-18T14:28:01Z")
When I was about to finish university I started answering job offers I read in the newspapers (remember when job offers were in newspapers?). There was one I did not really want, but I sent my application anyhow, I though I could always learn something about them if they offered me an interview and that that would also be an experience. So I was not completely serious when I answered the questionaire they sent me. I truthfully answered the question
- Where did you learn about us?
- In the bathtub
knowing full well that they wanted to know in which newspaper. That one I remember, but the other questions got similar answers: I took the questions literally, and when they were ambiguous I answered the question they did not mean. To my surprise they contacted me and I ended up working several years for them.
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### Author:  [@Bootb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootb)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/18 "2022-06-18T15:10:56Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#):
>
> My favorite, from an application cover letter, was by a candidate who wished to emphasize how meticulous he was. So he claimed to be known for his “attantion of details.” Three words, three mistakes. The phrase does live on in my workplace as the standard snark for sloppy mistakes.
I have a friend who once heard somebody say, “I’m so proud of my pronounciation.”
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### Author:  [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/19 "2022-06-18T16:07:04Z")
There was a pretty infamous resume that went around the internet a decade ago of a woman applying to be a bank manager but she decided to not only list her previous bank experience but her 8 years of dancing at strip clubs or as a paid escort at said clubs. I feel you can add that better onto a professional resume that doesn’t involve listing all 10 individual strip clubs you worked for.
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### Author:  [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2022, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/humorous-things-you-ve-seen-in-job-postings-or-resumes/966393/20 "2022-06-18T16:50:38Z")
I interviewed a candidate for a software internship who listed what level wizard he was in some online game as a resume item.
He didn’t get the position.
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