# Hun, Please tell me your mom will throw you out for having a boyfriend \_before\_ I become your first **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 5, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522 "2012-08-05T15:09:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/21 "2012-08-05T19:23:31Z")
I kind of have a short haircut. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/22 "2012-08-05T19:44:16Z")
Hmmm… OP hasn’t mentioned, and nobody that I noticed has inquired… Did he use _protection?_ And just how long will he be out of country? (And as for everybody knocking him for having that 48-yo gf – Did anybody mention [Ben Franklin’s well-known advice](http://grammar.about.com/od/classicessays/a/franklinmis.htm) on the matter?) ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/23 "2012-08-05T19:45:18Z")
When I began reading the OP, I was thinking, “I wonder how many posts it’s gonna be before this thread completely gets hijacked.” I’m actually surprised there were more than 2 or 3 posts directly addressing his “concerns”, but I’m glad to see that we have now moved onto the topic of pederast priests and their affinity for tolerating sex with a female who has a boyish hairstyle. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/24 "2012-08-05T19:54:16Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > First off, you have no business playing grabass with a 16-year old. You doin’t list a location, but here in the States that’s usually called Statutory Rape. Learn what the fuck you’re talking about before you spout crap like this, will ya? There’s enough hysteria about children and sex in this country as it is without people making up shit out of whole cloth to justify accusations of statutory rape. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/25 "2012-08-05T20:09:55Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > One hopes that there is no problem of his forty-eight year old girlfriend being the mother of his sixteen year old girlfriend. Ooh! I’ve seen that website! And now the FBI has all that info about my deviancy. What am I to do? (need answer fast) ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/26 "2012-08-05T21:37:16Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Ooh! I’ve seen that website! > > And now the FBI has all that info about my deviancy. What am I to do? (need answer fast) Clearly you should leave the country! ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/27 "2012-08-05T21:58:05Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > One hopes that there is no problem of his forty-eight year old girlfriend being the mother of his sixteen year old girlfriend. ♫ “Here’s to you, Mrs Robinson…” ♫ ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/28 "2012-08-05T21:59:16Z")
Getting back to the OP, I think the simplest thing is to sit down with the girlfriend, tell her that honesty is extremely important in the relationship, and that if it has to be kept a secret, the relationship is over. _Then_ leave the country for several months. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/29 "2012-08-05T22:03:23Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > Argh, I need some advice here. OK, so the good news: some progress is being made insofar as it seems you are now seeing a real-live young woman, within driving proximity and within your age cohort. This is better than when you were quote-unquote internet dating the drama llama on another continent with her Hitlerian stepfather, whom you were going to rescue. Or the sexy aunt, who was twenty-five years your senior. So, I’m proud of you, man. Try to keep moving in this direction. The bad news: If you’re 18, why is your lady friend’s mom chauffeuring you two around? I surmise, in connection with your general resistance to take on the age-appropriate developmental milestones associated with adolescence, it is because you have decided you are not going to prioritize getting a driver’s license or a car. Secondly, Mom is not going to kick her out of the house. She chauffeurs the two of you on dates, fer Chrissakes, she knows what’s going on. Instead, your “girlfriend” just wanted to get laid, and now she’s backing off. Harsh realm, bro. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/30 "2012-08-05T22:14:10Z")
Just don’t take any photos of her, cause then you move from healthy legal relationship to being a child pornographer. If you have already taken such photos, just forward them to me and I’ll hide them from the cops for you. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/31 "2012-08-05T22:54:41Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > The bad news: If you’re 18, why is your lady friend’s mom chauffeuring you two around? I surmise, in connection with your general resistance to take on the age-appropriate developmental milestones associated with adolescence, it is because you have decided you are not going to prioritize getting a driver’s license or a car. Because he’s a fucking teenager who just graduated high school last month and still lives at home? You know, like all 18 year olds? I know according to the law you turn 18 and are a Sooper Serious Adult straight away, but when I turned 18, I was still waiting on college acceptance letters and did not have a car. He’s going away to school or the army or something and will get all that shit together soon (I hope), but right now his situation is pretty typical of a kid his age. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/32 "2012-08-05T23:14:47Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Because he’s a fucking teenager who just graduated high school last month and still lives at home? You know, like all 18 year olds? I know according to the law you turn 18 and are a Sooper Serious Adult straight away, but when I turned 18, I was still waiting on college acceptance letters and did not have a car. > > He’s going away to school or the army or something and will get all that shit together soon (I hope), but right now his situation is pretty typical of a kid his age. I’m not saying he needs to be a super serious adult. But if you want to get down to fuckin’, you need to have a driver’s license and borrow Mom’s car or be able to suggest riding bikes and porking behind the Circle K. (But, obviously, better to have the DL and borrow the car.) ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/33 "2012-08-05T23:24:51Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > … Where to begin? > > First off, you have no business playing grabass with a 16-year old. You doin’t list a location, but here in the States that’s usually called Statutory Rape. It is a crime. You can be arrested. You can go to _prison_. Second, you got involved in a sexual situation with an underage girl while knowing her mother was not going to happy about this. Well, no, not quite. First off, the law in Maine is that 18 is legal, but there’s a 4-year margin. She could theoretically be 14, and I’d be fine. Second, _I didn’t know her mother wasn’t going to be happy_. I mean, I knew that her mom wasn’t thrilled, but I didn’t think it’d be a gigantic catastrophe. > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Anyway, OP, why does the mom have to know again? She doesn’t. What I’m worried about is her finding out. > [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Yeah, what’s the deal about leaving the country? Will you be back? It certainly doesn’t sound like you want to take her with you. > > What choices do you _think_ you have? Break up with her now, break up with her later, keep a long-distance relationship going. > [@Blackberry](#): > > If the 48-year-old’s mom is still alive, then she would probably be quite disapproving. She lived with us in the same house and knew _exactly_ what was going on. :rolleyes: > [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > OK, so the good news: some progress is being made insofar as it seems you are now seeing a real-live young woman, within driving proximity and within your age cohort. This is better than when you were quote-unquote internet dating the drama llama on another continent with her Hitlerian stepfather, whom you were going to rescue. Or the sexy aunt, who was twenty-five years your senior. So, I’m proud of you, man. Try to keep moving in this direction. I’ll be honest, I lol’d. > [@](#): > > The bad news: If you’re 18, why is your lady friend’s mom chauffeuring you two around? She isn’t; we can see each other without her. I don’t, however, have a license. > [@](#): > > I surmise, in connection with your general resistance to take on the age-appropriate developmental milestones associated with adolescence, it is because you have decided you are not going to prioritize getting a driver’s license or a car. …Noooo, it’s because I live most of the year in Germany, where getting a driver’s license is an expense up there with paying for college tuition. It’s simply money I don’t have. > [@](#): > > Secondly, Mom is not going to kick her out of the house. She chauffeurs the two of you on dates, fer Chrissakes, she knows what’s going on. No, she drove me home _once_ on her way to the supermarket. She hasn’t been driving either of us around to see each other otherwise. > [@](#): > > Instead, your “girlfriend” just wanted to get laid, and now she’s backing off. Harsh realm, bro. I never thought of _that_… Also, guys, fuck off. This isn’t a stealth brag. I really need some advice here. My dad recommends that I tell her that if she can’t be honest, we need to break up… I’m starting to think that’s the best advice. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/34 "2012-08-05T23:28:20Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > I never thought of _that_… Slow your roll, man. If she wants to be with you, she’ll find a way to get around her mom. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/35 "2012-08-06T00:00:54Z")
Honesty is the best policy. Actually, stike that. Using a condom is the best policy. Honesty is the next best policy. Just do what Northern Piper advises. He’s wise. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/36 "2012-08-06T00:02:10Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > She lived with us in the same house and knew _exactly_ what was going on. Did she join in, or just watch? ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/37 "2012-08-06T00:16:52Z")
Y’all are missing the point here. First a 48 y.o. and now a 16 y.o.? > [@](#): > > Budget Player Cadet 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/38 "2012-08-06T00:26:52Z")
She’s 16. Couldn’t it be a touch of drama queen? Oh no! If my mom finds out we are (so obviously) together, I’ll be thrown out of the house! It’s a slow week and I need some major drama! ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/39 "2012-08-06T00:31:47Z")
Yeah, some moms will seriously kick their kid out of the house, but compared to the number of moms or kids who claim they will? Not many. And just for having a boyfriend? Not likely. Are they Evangelical motherfucking Christians or something? ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/40 "2012-08-06T00:40:48Z")
Just throw some of that sweet lovin mamasan’s way. “Yeah, I know your daughter’s a little young, but _you’re_ not. Come on, Mrs. Johnson, let’s sweat up them bedsheets!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522.md?page=3)