# Hun, Please tell me your mom will throw you out for having a boyfriend \_before\_ I become your first **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 5, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522 "2012-08-05T15:09:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Dublin11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Dublin11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dublin11)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/81 "2012-08-27T12:24:49Z")
Shouldn’t she be back from summer camp by now? Have you seen her? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/82 "2012-08-27T12:25:34Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > You people need to stop assuming this. Huh, maybe it’s just that most of my real problems involve my dick? Maybe, just maybe, it’s that relationships are where I (like most men) have trouble and need advice from elders? _Maybe_ I was genuinely acting for advice on what to do, and not just trying to brag about fucking a legal girl _who I did not see as developmentally arrested_? Like, I spent a lot of time hanging out and talking with her, and I didn’t see _anything_ that made her seem dysfunctional at all. You people need to stop assuming that anyone who brings up sex in an issue they’re having is going for a stealth brag, because _that’s bullshit_. I didn’t address anything else because it’s pretty much on the mark (save for the lied about her age part; she’s 16 and her mom was referring to her mental age – something I still find bullshit), and yes, _I fucked up_, but will you stop assuming that I’m here to brag? Okay, BPC, I apologize. Please understand that many of us elders are parents and may tend to side with the more naive party here, and shudder when we think of the potential consequences for the girl. The idea of a developmentally delayed girl of 16 coping with an unexpected pregnancy and child she may not be equipped to care for is far scarier than your bumbling attempts to get laid are amusing. If you are in fact seeking advice: don’t get involved with anyone without a job, a secure place to live, and a proven ability to utilize birth control. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/83 "2012-08-27T16:28:16Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > You want who to what? He asked nicely… ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/84 "2012-08-27T16:33:52Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > Like, I spent a lot of time hanging out and talking with her, and I didn’t see _anything_ that made her seem dysfunctional at all. A lot of time? You mean two weeks, right? ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/85 "2012-08-27T17:07:57Z")
Don’t hate the Budget Player Cadet. Hate the game. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/86 "2012-08-27T17:17:12Z")
♫ You are 15 going on 14, I’lllll take caaaaaare of you…♫ ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Doom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Dr\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Doom)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/87 "2012-08-27T17:19:05Z")
Well, this thread certainly makes me glad I grew up without the internet, and all the high-school guidance counsellors which apparently populate it. **BPC** , when I was 18, I wanted to bang everything in sight, too. Surprisingly, it seems to be quite common for the age-group. Don’t take to heart all these prissy grown-ups pooh-poohing your behaviours as “immature” and “irresponsible”. How the fuck do they expect an 18 year-old to carry on his affairs? Like an adult? Please. You’re not even allowed to buy a pack of fucking cigarettes or a 6-pack of beer. But, yeah, use a rubber, dude. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/88 "2012-08-27T17:45:14Z")
Plenty of hot 16 yo’s in Europe. And they’re all LEGAL!!! (sometimes even 15 & 14 yo’s) ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/89 "2012-08-27T18:45:59Z")
> [@Dr\_Doom](#): > > Well, this thread certainly makes me glad I grew up without the internet, and all the high-school guidance counsellors which apparently populate it. > > **BPC** , when I was 18, I wanted to bang everything in sight, too. Surprisingly, it seems to be quite common for the age-group. Don’t take to heart all these prissy grown-ups pooh-poohing your behaviours as “immature” and “irresponsible”. How the fuck do they expect an 18 year-old to carry on his affairs? Like an adult? Please. You’re not even allowed to buy a pack of fucking cigarettes or a 6-pack of beer. > > But, yeah, use a rubber, dude. So when you confessed to your buddies that you banged a 48 year old and a developmentally delayed 16 year old they dope-slapped you IRL? Can’t see the advantage there. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/90 "2012-08-27T18:51:35Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > So when you confessed to your buddies that you banged a 48 year old and a developmentally delayed 16 year old they dope-slapped you IRL? Can’t see the advantage there. What is dope-slap? I would think that amost all 18 year olds would be getting a slap on the back from their peers for this stuff though, yeah. I reckon that’s why BPC is coming here, for sensible anonymous advice. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/91 "2012-08-27T19:05:22Z")
> [@Simple\_Linctus](#): > > What is dope-slap? > > I would think that amost all 18 year olds would be getting a slap on the back from their peers for this stuff though, yeah. I reckon that’s why BPC is coming here, for sensible anonymous advice. A slap to the back of the head. It’s a timeless method to convey: “Way to go, dumbass”. You can probably find an example on YouTube. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/92 "2012-08-27T20:33:44Z")
> [@Dublin11](#): > > Shouldn’t she be back from summer camp by now? Have you seen her? No. We spoke briefly when she got home, and then she spoke to her mom, and called to tell me we couldn’t see each other any more. I visited her house to try to apologize and bid her farewell in person, and her mom informed me that she was gone to her aunt’s house, and that she didn’t blame me for anything, and that I was just fine; the girl just wasn’t ready, in her eyes, to have a relationship. > [@Troppus](#): > > Okay, BPC, I apologize. Please understand that many of us elders are parents and may tend to side with the more naive party here, and shudder when we think of the potential consequences for the girl. The idea of a developmentally delayed girl of 16 coping with an unexpected pregnancy and child she may not be equipped to care for is far scarier than your bumbling attempts to get laid are amusing. I’m not an idiot. Believe me, I may not look it on the forums, but I know my limits, and I know safe sex well. Her getting pregnant? Not likely. > [@](#): > > If you are in fact seeking advice: don’t get involved with anyone without a job, a secure place to live, and a proven ability to utilize birth control. Well that’s not likely to happen, as it pretty much excludes everyone who isn’t well above my own age group. Maybe I should get back together with the 47-year-old? > [@Bob Ducca](#): > > A lot of time? You mean two weeks, right? Normally, if someone is really developmentally challenged, you can tell within a few meetings. In her case, I thought she was actually fairly bright for her age, if slightly naive. Not, you know, afflicted with a real mental condition. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/93 "2012-08-27T20:52:33Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > Her getting pregnant? Not likely. So she hasn’t gotten her first period yet? I guess you’ve found yourself another advantage to going after those young ones. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/94 "2012-08-27T21:32:54Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > The moment she told me that was the last time I saw her in person. So kindly fuck off with that noise, and at least _pretend_ you read the OP, k? You’ve been here long enough to know the rules by now, Budget Player Cadet. Consider this a warning: _Do not_ make posts like this towards other posters in forums outside of the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/95 "2012-08-27T23:01:33Z")
> [@Pyper](#): > > I’m curious as to how it escaped your notice that this girl was developmentally delayed. He quoted Mom as saying developmental disorders, not delays. I, and several other dopers share the same [developmental disorder](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder), which isn’t tied to IQ in any way. Neither are some [of the other](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Developmental_disorder) most common ones. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/96 "2012-08-27T23:05:11Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > You’ve been here long enough to know the rules by now, Budget Player Cadet. Consider this a warning: _Do not_ make posts like this towards other posters in forums outside of the Pit. But the posts insulting him beforehand and casting aspersions upon his morals, personality, and motives were ok? Presumably cause they didn’t swear? ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/97 "2012-08-27T23:17:39Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > she’s 16 and her mom was referring to her mental age – something I still find bullshit) So again I ask why her mother would say she’s not \*fifteen \*like she told you. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/98 "2012-08-28T01:16:02Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > So again I ask why her mother would say she’s not \*fifteen \*like she told you. Yeah, it sounds weird that a girl would claim to be younger. 99+% of the time, teenage girls claim to be older than they are. (My cite is having been one, once upon a time, and “rounding up” my age in non-harmful situations.) My immediate interpretation was that the mom meant she’s **14**. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/99 "2012-08-28T01:51:19Z")
> [@PoorYorick](#): > > Priest: Three Hail Mary’s. > MOL: But, Father, I’m not even Catholic. > Priest: So what are you doing here? > MOL: Father, I’m telling _everybody_. > > _rimshot_ Was trying to think how that one went, too! ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522/100 "2012-08-28T01:52:13Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Yeah, it sounds weird that a girl would claim to be younger. 99+% of the time, teenage girls claim to be older than they are. (My cite is having been one, once upon a time, and “rounding up” my age in non-harmful situations.) My immediate interpretation was that the mom meant she’s **14**. And not even lied to HIM (he says the girl did tell him she was 16) but lied to her mom, saying that she lied to him about her age when she didn’t. Why on earth would she do that? Dude is obviously just backtracking here because that story makes no sense. Either that, or there’s a small chance she told him that her mom meant her mental age, and he’s choosing to believe it even though it’s obviously not true. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hun-please-tell-me-your-mom-will-throw-you-out-for-having-a-boyfriend-_before_-i-become-your-first/630522.md?page=6)