# Hunky vampires. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 25, 2009, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435 "2009-09-25T00:05:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/21 "2009-09-25T21:15:17Z")
> [@The New and Improved Superman](#): > > Being gay of course is still by many (ignorant IMO) people considered to be ‘wrong’ and inherently immoral. It is associated with contracting a fatal illness. It is associated with being out at night (nightlife, late night bars, etc.) It’s not a stretch for young gay people who are being taught that to be gay is to be a damned creature of the night to identify with vampires. Interesting idea. I’m just going for the simple explanation that [Robert Pattinson is hot](http://infamousquotes.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/robert-pattinson-1-0-0-0x0-400x579.jpeg). Not hot enough to actually watch _Twilight_ or anything, but I don’t really mind seeing his picture everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/22 "2009-09-25T22:42:02Z")
I’ll never totally understand what qualifies a man for “hot” status. That guy, Pattinson, looks pre-op to me. 😉 Okay maybe not, what with those pits. But still. Never seen the show. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/23 "2009-09-25T22:50:11Z")
Well, for girls [it’s the blood…](http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=286) And once again… I’m sorry… ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/24 "2009-09-25T23:00:10Z")
> [@waterj2](#): > > I’m just going for the simple explanation that [Robert Pattinson is hot](http://infamousquotes.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/robert-pattinson-1-0-0-0x0-400x579.jpeg). I’m pretty sure you’ve put the cart before the horse. The insane Edward fangirls were already insane and fangirly before he got involved. I wouldn’t find the fangirls so annoying if they were attracted to _proper_ vampires instead of those faux-bad boy emo gits, and if they didn’t scream like a banshee getting sucked into a jet engine. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/25 "2009-09-25T23:21:40Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > I wouldn’t find the fangirls so annoying if they were attracted to _proper_ vampires instead of those faux-bad boy emo gits, and if they didn’t scream like a banshee getting sucked into a jet engine. [Like Blacula and Black Dracula?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRNke1atrpQ&feature=related) ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/26 "2009-09-26T00:43:27Z")
> [@CT\_Damsel](#): > > Dead and presumably cold to the touch. > Iced cold dick? (oops can I say dick?) > I too am female and do not get it. Surprisingly enough, of all of the people to subvert the male vampires can have sex thing, Anne Rice did. There’s a scene in _Pandora_ where the female protagonist, having seen the male protag for the first time in years (and in the meantime, he’s been turned into a vampire) asks him to penetrate her and he says it isn’t possible. She, uh, doesn’t mind and takes it in limp anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/27 "2009-09-26T01:43:31Z")
> [@waterj2](#): > > Interesting idea. I’m just going for the simple explanation that [Robert Pattinson is hot](http://infamousquotes.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/robert-pattinson-1-0-0-0x0-400x579.jpeg). Not hot enough to actually watch _Twilight_ or anything, but I don’t really mind seeing his picture everywhere. Yeah, if you like someone who looks like a younger k.d. lang with very long armpit hair! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/28 "2009-09-26T02:05:20Z")
> [@kapri](#): > > Because they’re dead. Cold and dead, or undead–but still: dead. Except – Not dead, not really. They don’t suck _human_ blood, they drink from animals! Or they drink synthetic blood! And they can reproduce! They’re not dead, they’re a different species! And they can go out into the sunlight! Crosses, garlic, holy water – no problema. IOW, my problem with “sexy vampire hotness” is that IMO they’re not talking about vampires, they’re talking about the latest version of supernatural, hot, and ‘conflicted in a way only the heroine will be able to truly understand and fix’. So what we’re talking about IMO varies from series to series or book to book (though I think Edward is a Sparkle Fairy in every sense of the word), but it is not, IMO, vampires. In fact, it’s generally so far away from the generally-understood idea of “vampire” that all they have in common is “human in appearance but sometimes having fangs.” It’s redefining the term so broadly as to be meaningless, and I am pedantic enough to object on that basis alone. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/29 "2009-09-26T22:39:25Z")
We too are driven by over riding passions. We too wear hot outfits (The Victorian double-breasted lab smock is smokin!) We too are outcasts. We often shun the daylight (ever try to exhume a corpse during the day?) Just because my last experiment regrettably (but very educationally) killed three subjects, does that mean I should not be loved? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/30 "2009-09-26T23:09:53Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > Except – Not dead, not really. > > They don’t suck _human_ blood, they drink from animals! Or they drink synthetic blood! And they can reproduce! They’re not dead, they’re a different species! And they can go out into the sunlight! Crosses, garlic, holy water – no problema. > > IOW, my problem with “sexy vampire hotness” is that IMO they’re not talking about vampires, they’re talking about the latest version of supernatural, hot, and ‘conflicted in a way only the heroine will be able to truly understand and fix’. > > So what we’re talking about IMO varies from series to series or book to book (though I think Edward is a Sparkle Fairy in every sense of the word), but it is not, IMO, vampires. In fact, it’s generally so far away from the generally-understood idea of “vampire” that all they have in common is “human in appearance but sometimes having fangs.” It’s redefining the term so broadly as to be meaningless, and I am pedantic enough to object on that basis alone. The vampires in the Blade and Underworld films are more like live humans infected with an awesomeness virus that gives them super strength, dexterity, super healing ability and indefinite lifespan than they are walking corpses. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/31 "2009-09-27T00:29:32Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > Except – and I am pedantic enough to object on that basis alone. Object! To what? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/32 "2009-09-27T00:31:49Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Just because my last experiment regrettably (but very educationally) killed three subjects, does that mean I should not be loved? I love you, Doc. Just not in _that_ way. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/33 "2009-09-27T00:39:28Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Just because my last experiment regrettably (but very educationally) killed three subjects, does that mean I should not be loved? I love you, Doc. Just not in _that_ way. 🙂 OOPS! ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/34 "2009-09-27T00:42:44Z")
> [@mangeorge](#): > > Object! To what? 😕 To asking why the love for “hunky vampires.” My position is that they’re not vampires. I realize that can read like pedantic nitpicking, but that’s my reaction to the love for “vampires.” ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/35 "2009-09-27T00:43:21Z")
> [@kapri](#): > > Because they’re dead. Cold and dead, or undead–but still: dead. That’s the thing: We have no experience with dead things that are somehow still alive. I’m pretty sure our inherent dislike of necrophilia comes from the fact that dead people can’t consent, will not allow procreation, and can cause disease. Vampires are exempt from all of these. I think the best way to go about finding out why vampires in particular are sexy is to compare the them with zombies, which do not have the sex appeal. The first thing I notice is that the consent thing is missing. The second is that, while both zombies and vampires can make you one of them, vampires still seem to maintain their soul–you’re still the same person, just with new powers. A zombie, on the other hand, loses all autonomy and brain power. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/36 "2009-09-27T01:04:10Z")
Zombies don’t nibble on the damsel’s neck. they gnaw on it. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/37 "2009-09-27T01:23:49Z")
This seems to be mostly about their portrayals in literature and onscreen, so I’m going to put this puppy into its coffin and ship it over to Cafe Society. twickster, MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/38 "2009-09-27T01:46:26Z")
😃 But I think it would be more at home in _your_ forum. (slacker) ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/39 "2009-09-27T01:55:52Z")
It _is_ in my forum – I’ve got a dual appointment. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435/40 "2009-09-27T02:28:22Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > It _is_ in my forum – I’ve got a dual appointment. 😛 :smack: Oh, my bad! Sorry. (workaholic) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hunky-vampires/511435.md?page=3)