# Husband in the delivery room. Good idea or bad idea? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 7, 2011, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-in-the-delivery-room-good-idea-or-bad-idea/602210 "2011-11-07T22:02:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-in-the-delivery-room-good-idea-or-bad-idea/602210/101 "2011-11-08T17:29:07Z")
> [@aerodave](#): > > It’s not uncommon for men to take a 10-month vacation from anything sexual with their wives, starting right about the time the pregnancy is discovered. I think it _is_ uncommon. It’s just not _unheard of_. ---
**Author:** ![aerodave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f08c70/32.png) [@aerodave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aerodave)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-in-the-delivery-room-good-idea-or-bad-idea/602210/102 "2011-11-08T17:29:55Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > FWIW, I would be highly offended if my husband refused to touch me sexually for the duration of my pregnancy, too. Certainly, if I’m sick or on bedrest or something, that’d be an entirely different issue, but my understanding is that _generally_ pregnant women = hornier than normal women. I certainly didn’t have any such hangups. Though, I’m pretty sure my wife wished I did on occasion. While she may have been more interested in sex, especially during the second trimester, she may have been dismayed to learn that I was also (even) more interested. For me, it was a combination of seeing new curves to appreciate, and a sense of it being a “limited time only” kind of thing. Gotta enjoy it while we can! ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-in-the-delivery-room-good-idea-or-bad-idea/602210/103 "2011-11-08T17:52:00Z")
> [@Pixel\_Dent](#): > > That may have started to change back. A few years ago when my second child was born the waiting room was quite large with two TVs, computer terminals, and what seemed to be 3 full extended families all having picnics. If I had to theorize based on that one anecdote, maybe it’s more common for grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. to wait at the hospital now than it was in the past.\* Did families not do that as much 30 years ago? Both my kids were born a the Medical Center at Princeton when it was still downtown and quite small - before it moved to US 1 and became House’s hospital. So, perhaps they didn’t have room. I think it was fairly rare for lots of people to want to wait 16 hours or more when they wouldn’t even be allowed to see the baby for a while. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-in-the-delivery-room-good-idea-or-bad-idea/602210/104 "2011-11-08T18:22:48Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Both my kids were born a the Medical Center at Princeton when it was still downtown and quite small - before it moved to US 1 and became House’s hospital. So, perhaps they didn’t have room. I think it was fairly rare for lots of people to want to wait 16 hours or more when they wouldn’t even be allowed to see the baby for a while. My experience more mirrors yours, for sure. My last few friends that have had babies have had them in Bakersfield, CA and Las Vegas. Each time, the waiting rooms (even in the newer, fancier hospitals) were tiny, sparse, and SUPER uncomfortable. I feel like they were attempting to make it as unpleasant as possible, so folks wouldn’t hang around. My friends’ rooms, otoh, were very nice. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-in-the-delivery-room-good-idea-or-bad-idea/602210/105 "2011-11-08T18:53:28Z")
My last one was born at a free-standing birthing center, and the setup was with the expectation that any visitors would likely be in my room with me, eating granola and singing Kumbaya. The waiting area was a couple of chairs, two loveseats, and a magazine rack, while my room was about 20x25 feet, with a huge bathroom and jetted tub, plus microwave, refrigerator, cd player, etc. I didn’t want the whole family bonding experience, though: I chose the venue based on my preference for limited unnecessary medical procedures and being allowed to have a baby and go home ASAP. (And I did. Arrived at midwife center at 11:30 pm, had baby at 12:30 am, and was home by 5 am. Because of my age - 40 at the time - I’d have faced lots more intervention and hassle in a standard hospital.) My mom was there before the birth, but she left the room when the major business started, and that was good. I wouldn’t have asked her to step out, but she was annoying me already. But still, it was nice that my husband wanted to be with me during the delivery, even though I think I spent more time reassuring him than vice versa. And if things had gone badly, he was there to make decisions on my behalf and the baby’s. And I will never forget the look on his face the first time he held his little girl: joy and awe and tears and just absolute wonder. Not something to be missed. ---
**Author:** ![Norse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a9adbd/32.png) [@Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Norse)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-in-the-delivery-room-good-idea-or-bad-idea/602210/106 "2011-11-08T21:12:14Z")
> [@Typo\_Knig](#): > > I was my wife’s coach, and her advocate against The Evil And Only Semi-Competant Medical Establishment. Sometimes one also has an important role as a punching bag :eek: ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-in-the-delivery-room-good-idea-or-bad-idea/602210/107 "2011-11-08T22:33:09Z")
Mystique? I like to think by the time people are having a child together, the Vagina Frontier has been explored thoroughly enough there’s not really any mystery left there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-in-the-delivery-room-good-idea-or-bad-idea/602210.md?page=5)