# Husband only cooks food I don't like **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 16, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560 "2011-09-16T21:39:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kyrie\_Eleison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kyrie_eleison/32/7682_2.png) [@Kyrie\_Eleison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyrie_Eleison)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/21 "2011-09-17T05:09:20Z")
> [@Zulema](#): > > I cook all the time and I never ask him to cook. That might be part of it, then. I do most of the cooking at our house, but on the occasions when my wife cooks, it’s often because she’s craving something specific that I rarely or never make. Often, that’s something I don’t care for, because those are of course things I rarely make. ---
**Author:** ![Zulema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/db5fbb/32.png) [@Zulema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulema)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/22 "2011-09-17T05:20:27Z")
He is probably just cooking things that I never cook but he will occasionaly do get irritated by some small thing and try to make a point in a stupid way. I guess this has made me a little paranoid. ---
**Author:** ![Implicit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Implicit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Implicit)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/23 "2011-09-17T14:21:07Z")
You may be assuming malice where stupidity (or inattention) is to blame. My husband is hopeless at remembering what things I like and what things I don’t. His short term memory is awful, he doesn’t pay attention to minor details, and he only cooks a couple of times a month. When you combine those he ends up cooking something I don’t like half the time. He vaguely remembers that onions are something something, so he adds onion to my omelet thinking it was from the like column (it’s not). I have to tell him I don’t like X with Y at least 5 or 10 times before it gets through to him. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/24 "2011-09-17T14:37:21Z")
Maybe per odd chance that’s all he knows how to cook are the meals you despise ? If not, I find it bizzare that he’s preparing meals you don’t like on purpose. I thought one of the joys of cooking for most people was preparing meals that other people enjoy if not love. Seems kind of selfish. But then you haven’t met my brother in law. He’s the epitome of a selfish bastard, why my sister chose him leaves me scratching my head until it bleeds. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/25 "2011-09-17T14:39:10Z")
> [@Implicit](#): > > You may be assuming malice where stupidity (or inattention) is to blame. My husband is hopeless at remembering what things I like and what things I don’t. His short term memory is awful, he doesn’t pay attention to minor details, and he only cooks a couple of times a month. When you combine those he ends up cooking something I don’t like half the time. He vaguely remembers that onions are something something, so he adds onion to my omelet thinking it was from the like column (it’s not). I have to tell him I don’t like X with Y at least 5 or 10 times before it gets through to him. That could very well be it. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/26 "2011-09-17T14:46:35Z")
Listen, there’s a reason for this behavior, and you already know it: he’s an immature asshole about some things There’s something you can do about it, which you refuse to do: discuss the issue like adults, with or without a marriage counselor. So what’s the point of this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/27 "2011-09-17T16:07:41Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Why is he being passive aggressive to begin with? And why is it that if you say something bothers you, he’ll go out of his way to do it? That seems kind of creepy. That was my thought. Sounds like he’s trying to skate on cooking his measly 2 or 3 meals a month. I’d have a nice long conversation about it. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/28 "2011-09-17T16:13:58Z")
To me, it seems like the much bigger problem is your mutual inability to communicate. I mean, if you can’t talk about and resolve stuff like this, what’s going to happen when real problems come along? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/29 "2011-09-17T17:25:30Z")
> [@Zulema](#): > > I cook all the time and I never ask him to cook. He just came home two hours early from work with ingredients to cook this recipe and started cooking right away. Maybe he doesn’t like what you cook, but he doesn’t want to talk about it any more than you do. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/30 "2011-09-17T17:31:23Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > If there’s little point bringing it up, have single-serve portions of stuff you like in the freezer. When he cooks some passive-aggressive pasta, or cheese-you-off curry, say nothing. Sounds like the menu from the restaurant from hell. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/31 "2011-09-17T17:40:06Z")
> [@Zulema](#): > > He is probably just cooking things that I never cook but he will occasionaly do get irritated by some small thing and try to make a point in a stupid way. > > I guess this has made me a little paranoid. We had a thread, oh, about two years back or so about all the little things we did to our significant others to irritate them/get back at them when we were pissed off at them. Your husband’s behaviour would definitely fit into that list. You say you communicate well in other areas - if you don’t see it as a problem, and it doesn’t bother you much, I don’t see a problem, either. Every relationship has its weirdnesses. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/32 "2011-09-17T19:33:55Z")
My sweetie and I have his boys only part-time, so the rest of the time it’s cook-as-cook-can, with each of us making whatever we want, whenever we want. It’s rare that I experiment with something that he ends up liking; I sure hope he doesn’t think I do it on purpose! ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/33 "2011-09-17T20:55:33Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > To me, it seems like the much bigger problem is your mutual inability to communicate. I mean, if you can’t talk about and resolve stuff like this, what’s going to happen when real problems come along? I’m betting that sometime in the past 25 years a real problems or two has come along … ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/34 "2011-09-17T21:11:27Z")
MPSIMS —\> Cafe Society ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/35 "2011-09-17T21:18:00Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > MPSIMS —\> Cafe Society This seems more like a relationship advice thread than a cooking advice thread… In my honest opinion. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/36 "2011-09-17T21:39:03Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > MPSIMS —\> Cafe Society A cooking thread? Seriously? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/37 "2011-09-17T21:54:06Z")
If someone told me they didn’t like anything spicy or with onions that knocks out about 90% of my mad cooking skills. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/38 "2011-09-17T22:14:59Z")
Don’t think he’s cooking things you don’t like because he’s trying to bug you. He’s cooking things you don’t like because you don’t cook those things. If he wants to eat something you like, he can ask you to cook it. These things he will cook for himself because you won’t. He’s thinking about himself, and it bugs you because you’re thinking about yourself. Well, it’s possible he’s actively trying to irk you, but not necessarily the case. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/39 "2011-09-17T22:29:54Z")
Actually, I’m gonna vote with the poster who said that you mentioning things you don’t like serve as a trigger to remind him of things he’d like to eat. My husband has shitty memory. It never was great to begin with, and since he’s now on medication for Seizure Disorder AND Parkinson’s, I have to bite my tongue a lot. Of course, a large part of it is the fact that men’s minds function in a linear fashion, while women must multitask in order to survive. So if he’s got one of his man-thoughts skittering around in his neurons, and he hears me say, “For the love of God, I can’t stand the thought of liver and onions,” then his Spouse Radar only picks up “liver” and “onion.” So when he goes out grocery shopping, he still only has “liver” and “onion” rattling in his head, and he’d bring them home thinking, “Oh, great, we’ll have her favorite liver and onions for dinner tonight!” We’ve been married thirty-seven years, and my husband STILL can’t remember I don’t like cantaloupe. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/40 "2011-09-17T23:28:15Z")
I’d fight the urge, looking down at a plate of curry for the third time that month, to pick it up and heave it, gracefully, at the nearest wall. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560.md?page=3)