# Husband only cooks food I don't like **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 16, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560 "2011-09-16T21:39:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/41 "2011-09-17T23:38:29Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > MPSIMS —\> Cafe Society I have _no_ idea what he was thinking; I’m moving it to IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/42 "2011-09-17T23:40:47Z")
Apologies. I saw cooking and read the first few replies (that seemed to be talking about cooking and suggestions on what to cook) and I figured CS. My mistake. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/43 "2011-09-17T23:57:20Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I have _no_ idea what he was thinking; I’m moving it to IMHO. What ever he was thinking, I’m sure it was Idle. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/44 "2011-09-18T00:02:28Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > We’ve been married thirty-seven years, and my husband STILL can’t remember I don’t like cantaloupe. That’s really strange - who doesn’t like cantaloupe? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/45 "2011-09-18T00:12:32Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > Don’t think he’s cooking things you don’t like because he’s trying to bug you. > > He’s cooking things you don’t like because you don’t cook those things. If he wants to eat something you like, he can ask you to cook it. These things he will cook for himself because you won’t. He’s thinking about himself, and it bugs you because you’re thinking about yourself. > > Well, it’s possible he’s actively trying to irk you, but not necessarily the case. This is what I was thinking too. It’s not so much that he’s intentionally cooking things the OP doesn’t like, as cooking things he likes which the OP happens not to like. I’m the same way - rather than asking someone to cook me something they don’t want to, I cook it myself; if I didn’t, I’d never get to have any since asking someone to cook me something they won’t eat makes me feel guilty. The difference is that I generally end up only cooking for myself this way, since “would you like some \_\_ too?” gets a negative answer. Either he needs to get to the point where he, for example, puts aside some of the spaghetti sauce pre-currying so the OP can have it curryless, or the OP needs to get in the habit of asking him to do it before he gets to that step of cooking. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/46 "2011-09-18T00:31:19Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > He’s cooking things you don’t like because you don’t cook those things. I vote for this. I do virtually all of the cooking in our house. I try to cook things that everyone likes. Occasionally I’ll cook something that one person likes a lot, but someone else doesn’t like. (For example, there’s one sausage dish my kids love but my wife hates. I still make it because the kids would be disappointed if they NEVER got it again, and my wife knows that.) However, I’m MUCH less likely to cook things that _I_ don’t like. If I don’t like it, it almost never gets made. So if my wife ever decided to cook (HA) I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she made something I didn’t like. ---
**Author:** ![nothin2say](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@nothin2say](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nothin2say)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/47 "2011-09-18T00:37:33Z")
> [@Zulema](#): > > It has become increasingly apparent over the last year that my husband will only cook foods that I don’t like. I am not a picky eater at all so there aren’t that many foods that I won’t eat, I’ll even usually eat foods that I don’t like. I was attributing his cooking choices to him just having the urge to eat foods that I don’t cook but I think it’s deeper than that. > > Three days ago I metioned that I didn’t really like anything with tomato saice and chicken. I’ve made things with tomato sauce and chicken before and I’ll eat it. He’s not really crazy about the combination either and he’s never cooked it before unless that’s all we have. To us it’s just food. He acted surprised that I didn’t like it but we didn’t discuss it at length. He just came home from the store with ingredients to make chicken in tomato sauce. > > The main other thing I don’t like is a lot of curry all the time. I like a little curry or curry once in a while but for the last year he’s been cooking only things with curry in increasing amounts until the last recipe had so much curry that even he wouldn’t eat it. Spicy spaghetti saice makes my stomach hurt so if he cooks spaghetti he always uses spicy sauce. Meanwhile I cannot put onions in anything because they make his stomach hurt and he refuses to eat sloppy joes on the rare occasion that I have a craving for them even though he’ll inhale them at a party. > > I never say anything about it so I won’t now. I just think it’s interesting. Can you say ‘passive-aggressive?’ ---
**Author:** ![nothin2say](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@nothin2say](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nothin2say)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/48 "2011-09-18T00:42:15Z")
vow: my condolences to you and your husband on his misfortune ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/49 "2011-09-18T01:29:41Z")
I’d start cooking with onions. j/k It sounds to me like you cut him a lot of slack, about a lot of stuff. Maybe this is a way to try to rile you. Men don’t have special hearing. As in “he’s just not hearing you.” Or different memories than we do. I would only be able to see this in one of two ways: either he doesn’t care about what you like and don’t like, or he really is trying to gig you. By your not responding he might even have to up the ante. People treat you the way you teach them to treat you. I doubt if he would treat somebody else this way (he eats other people’s Sloppy Joes) and I would ask him to give you at least that amount of consideration. And don’t worry about it if he makes it a big deal. It IS a big deal and he’s not acting right. (I notice you’re in a long-term relationship, as I am. Sometimes the older we get the weirder we get. Nip it in the bud.) ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/50 "2011-09-18T01:37:09Z")
Just noticed that my post seems to be the exact opposite of what VOW said. It wasn’t deliberate, I just didn’t read each and every post. (That’ll teach ME.) All I can tell you is from my own point of view and really, I’d be more apt to throw the third plate of curry at the wall. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/51 "2011-09-18T02:02:31Z")
I freaking love Thai food. My husband feels like crap after eating Thai food in most restaurants. (He thinks it’s how oily most restaurant Thai food can be.) He asks me what I want to eat? I automatically say, “Thai!” Then I go :smack:. I think it might well be that he’s thinking, “huh, I haven’t had chicken cacciatore in a while…” - but who knows. Try feeding him “I love \_\_\_\_\_” messages and see if that helps. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560/52 "2011-09-18T17:04:07Z")
Next time he makes tomato sauce and chicken with curry, get out a bowl of cereal and eat it instead. Don’t make a big deal about it. If he asks what you’re doing, say, “Yeah, I’m not a big fan of curry, so instead of insisting that you cater to me, I’m just going to eat a bowl of cereal instead.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-only-cooks-food-i-dont-like/596560.md?page=2)