# Husband refuses to remove spider.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [May 16, 2009, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617 "2009-05-16T05:52:49Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Gustav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Gustav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gustav)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/61 "2009-05-19T16:51:35Z")

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> [@Maastricht](#):
>
> Exactly. Now see, here’s someone who understands.
> 
> Besides, how angry would YOU be if you were flushed, hairsprayed or otherwise put to a gruesome death? More then a little miffed, I guess. And an angry spider is a spider with a mission, so, twice as scary.

I guess… All I’m saying is if the last thing I saw was you dragging your husband out of bed, pointing at me screaming “there it is, kill it KILL IT” I know who I’d be holding responsible.

And even so, isn’t a dead spider with a mission better than a live spider (that’s probably plotting against you as we speak anyway)?

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**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/62 "2009-05-19T16:59:47Z")

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I’m not really rational about killing horrid creatures. I can’t…come into contact with them, but I’m okay with spraying Raid on them and screaming. (I know, the screaming doesn’t help but it’s obligatory.)

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**Author:** ![Tamarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tamarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamarin)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/63 "2009-05-19T17:27:17Z")

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My college roommate had a major spider phobia…and this thread reminds me of a story she told me.

Her younger sister was her designated spider killer when they were in high school. One night as Roommate lay down to go to sleep, she spied a creepy-crawly spider on the ceiling just above her head. She called out to Sister and begged her to come and kill it for her so she could sleep without thoughts of said spider dropping onto her face. Sister was already snug in her bed and not really excited about spider slayage, so she told Roommate that she would only kill the spider for a fee of $1.00. Roommate agreed to this and waited, huddled in a corner, for Sister to dispose of the spider.

Sister came into the room armed with Scotch Tape (Sellotape) and nothing else. She proceeded to squish the spider to the ceiling with the tape and left it there. She then turned to Roommate and requested another $1.00 as a fee for removing the now flattened arachnid from the ceiling.

Some might call it extortion, but I think it’s just good business sense. 😃

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**Author:** ![Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d9b06d/32.png) [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichini_Sanshigo)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/64 "2009-05-19T18:06:37Z")

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Don’t kill the spidews!!1! Keep them alive so they can spin their webs and eat other creepy crawlies. It’s the circle of life, ya know. How can you possibe be repulsed by something with 8 legs? Six legs, yeah, those things are disgusting, but eight? Too cute!

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**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/65 "2009-05-19T18:59:02Z")

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> [@Kalhoun](#):
>
> But do they actually die? Or do they recover in the dust and find their way out of the vacuum with killin’ on their mind?

You can buy–and I have one–a device that vacuums the spider, then sends it down to a grid that delivers a humane electric shock, killing it instantly.

I use

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**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/66 "2009-05-19T19:08:58Z")

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I like that addition of the word ‘humane.’ I must say I never thought of our bug-zapper as a particularly humane device, except obviously for me, the beneficiary of a bug-free porch. **bzap**

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**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/67 "2009-05-19T19:19:34Z")

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> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#):
>
> You can buy–and I have one–a device that vacuums the spider, then sends it down to a grid that delivers a humane electric shock, killing it instantly.
> 
> I use

Ah, but every once in a while exposure to electricity causes random giganticism in spiders.\* Instead of killing them, it may just zap them into enormous size. And hunger.

Sure it may be rare, but can you take that risk?  
\*I read this in a comic book once, so it must be true.

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**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/68 "2009-05-19T19:27:03Z")

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> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#):
>
> I use

**Hilarity**? \* **Hilarity?!** \* :eek:

One of y’all needs to go check on her. I’ll stay here in case she posts again.

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**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/69 "2009-05-19T19:31:22Z")

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> [@Dung\_Beetle](#):
>
> **Hilarity**? \* **Hilarity?!** \* :eek:
> 
> One of y’all needs to go check on her. I’ll stay here in case she posts again.

I told you: occasional spider gigantism.

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**Author:** ![alexandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@alexandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alexandra)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/70 "2009-05-19T22:23:50Z")

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> [@Kalhoun](#):
>
> My husband says he’s a friend of the arachnid; however, I think he just finds my spider-freakout to be amusing. Rather than getting into the KILL IT! argument, I just spray it with hairspray and watch it slowly harden. Yeah…it’s good. Real good.

:(☹ That’s just wrong.

Another vote for ‘liberate it, don’t kill it.’ Come on, people! Do you like flies or don’t you?

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**Author:** ![Daylate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@Daylate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylate)\
**Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/71 "2009-05-20T01:14:29Z")

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Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve  
accidentally walked through a spider web.

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**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\
**Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/72 "2009-05-20T01:20:45Z")

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Ha!

_Tomato scare_ (n): seeing a big dead spider on your worktop or in your sink, and realising a split second later it’s just a tomato crown thingie.

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**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\
**Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/73 "2009-05-20T05:43:17Z")

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> [@Dung\_Beetle](#):
>
> **Hilarity**? \* **Hilarity?!** \* :eek:
> 
> One of y’all needs to go check on her. I’ll stay here in case she posts again.

Okay. The thread was making me a little paranoid. I felt something brush my calf…I panicked, hit something on the keyboard, sent the message, backed my chair up, dragged the UPC cord with me, hence unplugging the computer…

What brushed my calf was a piece of flat oval reed, a short length I cut off a chair I’m working on. It’s curved, so it rolled up and–brushed me. Okay. An overreaction.

I did not realize I hadn’t finished my thought. But never mind. I think I’m through with this thread!

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**Author:** ![Marienee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Marienee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marienee)\
**Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/74 "2009-05-20T07:42:27Z")

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Well, darling I am going to support you on one side of the cultural divide but on the other side, I can’t help you.

First the bad news: Dutch spiders are as civilized as the people who surround them; not only are they not poisonous, they cannot even bite. They lack the apparatus. I understand spider fear in the US or in Australia, but the most dangerous wild beast in the whole of the Biesbosch is the deer tick. Which really takes the adventure right out of it.

I understand that phobias are not rational. Neither are Dutch husbands. The way to handle your spouse is to find a _very expensive_ training for phobias, preferably somewhere really fun to vacation like the US or Australia, and then leave the folders lying around for him to see. This will set off his phobia, technically known in Dutch as _verdorienietmeergelduitgevenfobie_.\* Also the other phobia which is a fear of being left behind while somebody else gets a nifty vacation (_acthergelatenmetdekidsfobie_). The symptoms of these phobias include a sudden willingness to kill spiders in future.

On the cultural differences front: it’s all true. Dutch men (and women) lack a whole constellation of attitudes regarding the gender wars. It’s very odd. I cannot say that Dutch culture generally transcends sexism – it surely does not. Gender roles are firmly entrenched, particularly with respect to family. This may be more extreme where I am than where Maastricht is; I live in a smaller town than she and in a different region.

\*\* English translation: “Jesus, do I have to spend more money phobia”. Dutch men are also cheap, cheap cheap. They make Scots look profligate \*

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**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\
**Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/75 "2009-05-20T09:12:50Z")

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I had an interesting experience a couple of weeks ago. I was leaving my apartment and as I opened the door a rather large spider waltzes in. Just right through the front door, like he owned the place. He invites himself in and then stops at my feet as if to say “So what are you gonna do, huh?”

Fortunately for me, I already had my shoes on. Unfortunately for the spider I already had my shoes on.

I also keep cans of Raid on hand for times when a shoe or vacuum cleaner won’t do the trick. Raid is awesome. One little shot of it and your nemesis is swimming in poison. Yes, they can still scurry around a bit but as soon as those nasty chemicals hit them, they’re dead.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that you should nuke them from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

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**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\
**Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/76 "2009-05-20T12:09:24Z")

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Be careful, spiders, once they know they’re being hunted, like to lie in wait in some [strange places.](http://www.myconfinedspace.com/2007/09/18/toilet-paper-spider/i-dont-think-ill-be-wiping-today/)

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**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\
**Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/77 "2009-05-20T16:02:41Z")

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I let my spiders live. It’s the other bugs I cannot stand.

I once opened my bathroom closet door to find a spider with a roach all webbed up. My first thought was “Dilemma!” but then I thought “roommate that kills roaches and doesn’t run up the power bill” so he was allowed to live.

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**Author:** ![El\_DeLuxo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_deluxo/32/9043_2.png) [@El\_DeLuxo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_DeLuxo)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/78 "2009-05-21T13:53:05Z")

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Am I the only one here who\* likes \*spiders?

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**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/79 "2009-05-21T14:17:11Z")

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> [@alexandra](#):
>
> :(☹ That’s just wrong.
> 
> Another vote for ‘liberate it, don’t kill it.’ Come on, people! Do you like flies or don’t you?

Listen…If spiders understood English and could reach the doorknob, I’d happily invite them to leave. Liberation would entail a close-quarters capture, carry, and pitch. I don’t have the right stuff. I just _don’t!_

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**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/80 "2009-05-21T14:57:45Z")

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I routinely evict bugs and spiders from our condo using the glass-and-junkmail capture system. I don’t want to mash 'em, it’s gross; they don’t want to be mashed.

Once I shooed a big ol’ wolf spider down the carpeted hall in the building’s atrium, toward the front door. He was too big to fit a glass around without risking pinching a leg.

I was fine with just herding him, except for the times he periodically turned around and defied me.

But when he hopped down the first (carpeted) step, I distinctly heard him thump as he landed.

Not _loud_, mind you, but an audible _thump._ Any creepy-crawly big enough to make an audible thump is…intimidating. 😛

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