# Husband refuses to remove spider. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 16, 2009, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617 "2009-05-16T05:52:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/81 "2009-05-21T15:09:26Z")
> [@DLuxN8R-13](#): > > Am I the only one here who\* likes \*spiders? No. Believe it or not after reading my OP, but intellectually I like and appreciate the beasties. I even like small spiders, so, smaller then my pinkie’s nail. It is just that I can’t seem to overrule my lizard brain, and that brain sets of a shrieking godawful alarm at the sight of a big spider, however harmless. It is odd, and irrational, but there you go. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/82 "2009-05-21T15:19:17Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > I routinely evict bugs and spiders from our condo using the glass-and-junkmail capture system. I don’t want to mash 'em, it’s gross; they don’t want to be mashed. > > Once I shooed a big ol’ wolf spider down the carpeted hall in the building’s atrium, toward the front door. He was too big to fit a glass around without risking pinching a leg. > > I was fine with just herding him, except for the times he periodically turned around and defied me. > > But when he hopped down the first (carpeted) step, I distinctly heard him thump as he landed. > > Not _loud_, mind you, but an audible _thump._ Any creepy-crawly big enough to make an audible thump is…intimidating. 😛 There is a problem with using this method on Dock Spiders. Large size plus excessive bursts of speed = possibility that spider will, instead of being herded, rush up whatever you are using to prod him along and go up your sleeve. Of course attempting to stomp them is worse - then they can hop on your foot and run up your pant leg, leading to the hilarious sight of a grown man apparently doing some sort of vigourous dance which involves punching himself repeatedly in the nuts. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/83 "2009-05-21T15:27:29Z")
> [@DLuxN8R-13](#): > > Am I the only one here who\* likes \*spiders? Nope, I either leave them alone, or escort them out unharmed. Am I the only one here who thinks it’s a little creepy how many suggested the OP use her vagina as a weapon? ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/84 "2009-05-21T15:50:41Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > Am I the only one here who thinks it’s a little creepy how many suggested the OP use her vagina as a weapon? Not the recommended way to crush spiders. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/85 "2009-05-21T16:09:57Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > No. Believe it or not after reading my OP, but intellectually I like and appreciate the beasties. I even like small spiders, so, smaller then my pinkie’s nail. It is just that I can’t seem to overrule my lizard brain, and that brain sets of a shrieking godawful alarm at the sight of a big spider, however harmless. It is odd, and irrational, but there you go. Your lizard brain would _eat_ them. Live and un-chewed. ---
**Author:** ![Pazu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pazu/32/15522_2.png) [@Pazu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pazu)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/86 "2009-05-21T20:58:11Z")
This thread reminds me of an incident from when I was in high school. There was this girl I was madly in love with, who also happened to be extremely phobic of pretty much any terrestrial arthropod. I, on the other hand, was (and still am) a pretty dedicated amateur entomologist. One day we were talking in the hallway, and she squealed, grabbed my arm, and pointed at something on the floor. “Eek! Step on it! Eek!” “It” turned out to be a perfectly harmless [house centipede](http://bugguide.net/node/view/185639) (_Scutigera coleoptrata_). A philosophical conflict ensued: - “I don’t collect chilopods; even if I did, stepping on it would render it worthless as a specimen; it’s perfectly harmless; she’s being ridiculous.” - “I’m totally in love with her and should do what makes her happy.” One guess as to which side won. For all the good it did me, though, I should have just kept the centipede and stepped on _her_. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/87 "2009-05-21T22:01:00Z")
> [@Pazu](#): > > This thread reminds me of an incident from when I was in high school. > > There was this girl I was madly in love with, who also happened to be extremely phobic of pretty much any terrestrial arthropod. I, on the other hand, was (and still am) a pretty dedicated amateur entomologist. > > One day we were talking in the hallway, and she squealed, grabbed my arm, and pointed at something on the floor. “Eek! Step on it! Eek!” “It” turned out to be a perfectly harmless [house centipede](http://bugguide.net/node/view/185639) (_Scutigera coleoptrata_). > > A philosophical conflict ensued: > > - “I don’t collect chilopods; even if I did, stepping on it would render it worthless as a specimen; it’s perfectly harmless; she’s being ridiculous.” > - “I’m totally in love with her and should do what makes her happy.” > > One guess as to which side won. > > For all the good it did me, though, I should have just kept the centipede and stepped on _her_. I hate house centepedes worse than any spider. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/88 "2009-05-21T23:49:39Z")
> [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](#): > > Don’t kill the spidews!!1! Keep them alive so they can spin their webs and eat other creepy crawlies. It’s the circle of life, ya know. How can you possibe be repulsed by something with 8 legs? Six legs, yeah, those things are disgusting, but eight? Too cute! I like you. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/89 "2009-05-22T04:27:44Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > There is a problem with using this method on Dock Spiders. > > Large size plus excessive bursts of speed = possibility that spider will, instead of being herded, rush up whatever you are using to prod him along and go up your sleeve. > > Of course attempting to stomp them is worse - then they can hop on your foot and run up your pant leg, leading to the hilarious sight of a grown man apparently doing some sort of vigourous dance which involves punching himself repeatedly in the nuts. 😃 Just so you know. You know how people write “LOL” on their posts? Well how about “SOL”–no, not what you think, “Screaming. Out loud.” That’s right. Rarely have I laughed out loud reading a post, but this one made me SCREAM. I KNEW I shouldn’t come back in this thread! ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/90 "2009-05-22T15:38:12Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Just so you know. You know how people write “LOL” on their posts? Well how about “SOL”–no, not what you think, “Screaming. Out loud.” > > That’s right. Rarely have I laughed out loud reading a post, but this one made me SCREAM. > > I KNEW I shouldn’t come back in this thread! I probably should refrain from telling the story of what happened when my wife pulled the chain on one of those old-style overhead incandescent lights without realizing that a large spider was resting on it, and the startled/slightly scalded spider jumped off the light and fell down the front of her shirt … 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/91 "2009-05-22T15:45:30Z")
SOL! Did you _hear_ me? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/92 "2009-05-22T15:48:05Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > SOL! Did you _hear_ me? :eek: I certainly heard _her_ at the time. 😃 The spider was retreived unharmed, and exiled to the outdoors. ---
**Author:** ![Mikkel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikkel/32/13151_2.png) [@Mikkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikkel)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/93 "2009-05-22T16:34:25Z")
> [@conurepete](#): > > Did you tell the cats? Mine would have raced to the spider and caroled about the hunt for an hour after. They may not remove spiders, but are usually thrilled to eat them. Your cats will eat spiders? Mine will just play with them until all entertainment value (i.e. movement) is gone. Not that I blame them, spiders tastes horribly bitter and their legs stick between your teeth. Even worse, their legs twitch when stuck between your teeth. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/94 "2009-05-22T16:36:44Z")
If after making passionate love to my beautiful wife, she requested the removal of a spider (or a rabid Capybara, for that matter), I would not only remove the spider with masculine aplomb, I would also be subsequently making more passionate love to my beautiful wife with renewed, spider-killing vigor. Chicks dig it when you’re all like that. So, OK, Dutch dudes; that’s how it’s supposed to work. If that’s not worth swatting a spider to you, then you are beyond my help. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![El\_DeLuxo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_deluxo/32/9043_2.png) [@El\_DeLuxo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_DeLuxo)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2009, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/95 "2009-05-23T00:01:46Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I hate house centepedes worse than any spider. 😉 Yes. What he said, except squared. And then cubed. Centipedes are hideous; you can tell by the slinky, flattened way they look and their movements that there’s just something _wrong_ about them. _Harmless,_ did someone say? I don’t believe that for a Manhattan minute.There’s no such creature – centipedes are all venomous, and aggro by nature, and if you open your mouth around one it will count your teeth, which either makes them all fall out or else it can kill you. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2009, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/96 "2009-05-23T13:54:31Z")
> [@Marienee](#): > > Well, darling I am going to support you on one side of the cultural divide but on the other side, I can’t help you. **Marienee** , can I have your autograph? The post was too long to use as a sig, but oh God, my sides are hurtin’… I used to be mildly arachnophobic until I spent 6 months working in Costa Rica (dengue fever is transmitted by mosquitoes). I still consider that it’s best if they stay outside and I stay inside, but breaches of that disposition will bre solved in a civilized manner which doesn’t entail the death of either part. ---
**Author:** ![arachnologus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dc4da7/32.png) [@arachnologus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/arachnologus)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/97 "2009-05-30T09:15:28Z")
For all those speculating that spiders, once harmed, may be vengeful: No. Forget it. They haven’t the brain power for such human-like attitudes. They don’t even have the brain power of a cell phone. Their reactions are strictly pre-programmed and revolve around the survival value of eating insects and other prey, and avoiding hazards such as gigantic humans that weigh approximately a million times as much as even a large spider. For the phobic ones: Yes, phobias are irrational and aren’t going to be cured by the simple statement that spiders (and house centipedes too) are no real danger to you. But that doesn’t mean that there should be no attempt to cure them. A phobia is a **mental illness**! Catering to a mental illness is just doing more damage to yourself. If I had a mental illness I’d want it treated. Some mildly or moderately arachnophobic persons have actually cured themselves by self-help (in the form of learning more about the object of their fears) but of course that won’t work for all. These days, professional shrinks have phobia treatment pretty much down to a science, usually using virtual reality exposure therapy. It works, and it’s worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/98 "2009-05-30T14:42:56Z")
I could, but why? I can easily avoid places where I run into snakes, I don’t have to look at pictures, and I don’t care to spend time and money getting over said phobia for what reason? ---
**Author:** ![arachnologus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dc4da7/32.png) [@arachnologus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/arachnologus)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/99 "2009-05-31T11:58:25Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I could, but why? I can easily avoid places where I run into snakes, I don’t have to look at pictures, and I don’t care to spend time and money getting over said phobia for what reason? True, it’s **usually** possible to avoid snakes - but once in a while you’re going to see one and if you go into a dangerous panic that could be more harmful than even a rattlesnake. **But** – it’s **not** practical to avoid spiders, which are everywhere! Spider fear being the main subject of this thread, it was arachnophobes I was primarily talking to there. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617/100 "2009-05-31T16:59:36Z")
Chances are there’s at least one spider within eight feet of you _right now._ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husband-refuses-to-remove-spider/496617.md?page=6)