# Husbands: Do you give wives a Mom's Day gift? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 10, 2004, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399 "2004-05-10T02:54:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![furthur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@furthur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furthur)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/1 "2004-05-10T02:54:47Z")
I’ve been wondering. My husband never gives me one. He says he doesn’t need to, because I’m not his mom. Everyone else? Mrs. Furthur ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/2 "2004-05-10T03:00:44Z")
Even though my husband is not the brightest crayon in the box, he gives me a Mother’s Day present. I am the mother of his child, and he knows that his chances of living to see Father’s Day greatly improve with offerings of chocolate or similar items. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/3 "2004-05-10T03:18:10Z")
I sprang for a _very_ fancy brunch, and fund the kids’ gift-giving. It works for us. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/4 "2004-05-10T03:19:08Z")
Certainly. They _do_ make cards for husbands to give to wives telling them how great it is that they are the mother of those wonderful kids. If you have the sentiment, give them card (plus other nice goodies). If you don’t have the sentiment… well, um, err. That’s a problem. Also, cards for women who would like to be mothers but aren’t yet or can’t be are nice if, say, there are pets filling the role of children. There are also cards from the cat/dog to their “mom”. You definitely give a pregnant mom-to-be some nice stuff. Most definitely. Plus if the kids are too young to do the Mothers Day stuff themselves, then it falls to dad to make sure that gets taken care of. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/5 "2004-05-10T03:53:01Z")
If I can answer for Mr Cranky: Yes, at least since I became a mother. In our case, our son is too young to make the appropriate gesture, but I suspect it’s a tradition that will continue. Speaking for myself, on Father’s Day I like to recognize (as his partner) that I think he’s a wonderful father and I appreciate what he does. That will continue long after Cranky Jr is old enough to buy his own cards and gifts. As **ftg** has noted, there is no shortage of greeting cards expressing these sorts of sentiments from a spouse to a spouse. Incidentally, since we got married I have pretty much taken over buying Mother’s Day gifts for his mother (as well as for my own mom). I’m simply better at it. Better at the ideas, better at finding the stuff, better at wrapping. If I were your husband’s conscience, I would perhaps remind him that the really nicest aspects of marriage seem to happen when a spouse goes beyond what is merely _required_. ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/6 "2004-05-10T04:05:13Z")
Hubby has given me gifts and cards on mother’s day, beginning with the year I was preggers with our first. What’s most important to me however, is that he teach his children to honor their mother on this and all special days; just as I teach his children to honor their father on fathers days and his special days. As in most things, teaching by example is a great way to go. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/7 "2004-05-10T04:14:46Z")
I certainly will, considering the trouble a male relative of mine got himself in with the new wife (who was a mother, just not to any of his kids) when he pulled out the “You’re not MY mother” line. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/8 "2004-05-10T04:23:55Z")
That Guy (while not my husband, he is the father of my son) didn’t get me anything. He didn’t even say “Happy Mother’s Day”. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/9 "2004-05-10T07:32:54Z")
Since my son is too young to buy a gift and/or get a card for his mom on Mother’s Day, it’s my duty as Dad to fill in the role. When he’s old enough, I’ll let him do his duty and help him out as needed, such as driving him to the mall. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/10 "2004-05-10T07:38:25Z")
Mr P buys me a present but I don’t know why. I’m not his mother. I don’t buy him a Father’s Day present unless I’m feeling very kind. I think the parent’s role is to organise the kid’s present buying but I get the impression that Mother’s Day is a much bigger deal in the US. ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/11 "2004-05-10T13:07:35Z")
I think there’s something very creepy about mixing up the statuses of Mother & Wife. It points to a basic confusion about the role of your spouse. And Mothers’ Day is a greeting card company invention. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/12 "2004-05-10T13:10:02Z")
I took our daughter away for many hours over the weekend, got **Pepper Mill** her favorite Chinese food, and gave her chocolate truffles. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/13 "2004-05-10T13:18:51Z")
My husband doesn’t give me Mother’s Day gifts, nor do I give him Father’s Day gifts. Frankly, I think there are far too many manufactured excuses for gift-giving anyway. Then again, I’m an old grouch. ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/14 "2004-05-10T13:42:28Z")
Not a husband, just an uncle I took my 4yo niece out shopping to get a Mother’s day gift for her Mum as her dad isn’t around to perform this duty anymore, however the gift wasn’t from me to my sister, it was from her daughter. I just happened to be the one who bought the flowers and card. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/15 "2004-05-10T13:44:05Z")
> [@furthur](#): > > My husband never gives me one. Divorce him. Now. > [@ftg](#): > > Also, cards for women who would like to be mothers but aren’t yet or can’t be are nice if, say, there are pets filling the role of children. There are also cards from the cat/dog to their “mom”. Aaargh! Mother’s Day cards for pet owners??? This is not only ridiculous but also sad and pitiful. People who believe they are their pets parents make me gag. I would never encourage this kind of behavior! Pets ain’t people. The only person who I ever gave a Mother’s Day card to who wasn’t a Mother was a firend of mine who for years had been taking a VERY active and nuturing role in the life of her boyfriend’s daughter. Having a cat isn’t good enough. (This friend has since had a chld of her own so it’s pretty straightforward now.) > [@Futile Gesture](#): > > I think there’s something very creepy about mixing up the statuses of Mother & Wife. There’s no mixing up of Mother/Wife status here. She’s _a_ mother, and it’s Mother’s Day. It’s a day for letting these bitches know that they are special and that we love and appreciate them and that they’re doing a good job. I bought six Mother’s Day cards this year. One for my Mother, one for my Grandmother, and one for each of my friends who is a mother (I would also give a card to a friend who is pregnant with her first child). I’m not mixing up anybody’s status here- they’re my friends _not_ my mothers, but it would be inconsiderate not to give them props on their day. No card for crazy cat ladies! ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/16 "2004-05-10T13:54:29Z")
I’m there with **Qadgop** and **rjung**. True, my wife is not my mother, but if it’s gonna get done right, then I gotta help it along. Plus, I know better than to let The Kid make breakfast. When I do it, it’s a fluffy cheese omelet, with sauteed mushrooms and diced ham. Ghod knows what could happen in there if I let The Kid do it… ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/17 "2004-05-10T15:20:37Z")
> [@](#): > > Plus, I know better than to let The Kid make breakfast. When I do it, it’s a fluffy cheese omelet, with sauteed mushrooms and diced ham. Ghod knows what could happen in there if I let The Kid do it… See this thread of mine: > **[Mother's Day Weekend Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=255461)** > > This is similar to stories I’m sure you’ve heard, but I had to tell it, because it’s true. The only thing that would make it more perfect is if the breakfast was actually served on Mother’s Day, but it was on Saturday. This past saturday, our... ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/18 "2004-05-10T15:44:51Z")
I gave my pregnant-at-the-time wife a card last year. This year I didn’t, but I figured that a card from four-month-old Aidan would be sufficient. Next year, she’s getting cards from me, the kid, and the dog 😃 ---
**Author:** ![monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monster)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/19 "2004-05-10T16:43:23Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > There’s no mixing up of Mother/Wife status here. She’s _a_ mother, and it’s Mother’s Day. It’s a day for letting these bitches know that they are special and that we love and appreciate them and that they’re doing a good job. This line just cracked me up. Thanks! Anyway, my hubby got me a card, an outfit, flowers and two pairs of shoes. He recognizes that I work darn hard to raise a fine, upstanding young man. Our son gave me a coupon book, a little book about me, and construction paper flowers in a styrofoam cup. I don’t care if Mother’s Day was invented by card companies, I love this holiday! ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/20 "2004-05-10T16:59:30Z")
Yeah, I gave her a present alright. I jumped outta bed at 2:am and did the paper route so she could sleep in. Then I spent the rest of the day changing the rear struts in her car cuz she’s getting vocal about being tired of bottoming out every time she hits a speed bump. In the process of the repair I aggravated a barely healed broken wrist, sunburned the top of my head…again…and put a pretty good slice in my finger (I don’t wanna talk about it). Then I watched the two little kids while she took her favorite off to the craft store to get yarn & stuff. She seemed happy enough at the end of the day. And I’m always happy when she’s happy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399.md?page=2)