# Husbands: Do you give wives a Mom's Day gift? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 10, 2004, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399 "2004-05-10T02:54:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/21 "2004-05-10T17:04:53Z")
> [@](#): > > I think there are far too many manufactured excuses for gift-giving anyway. > > Then again, I’m an old grouch. That was me years ago, however the first year I was married and saw how disappointed my wife was that I didn’t acknowledge the day, I changed my thinking. Hell, it doesn’t have to cost much, and who cares if it’s a manufactured holiday. If it makes her happy, it can only be a good thing. Like my Ex, mothers day is a special day to Killer. In truth, I spend more for gifts on non-occasions than I do on M/D. And guess what? It’s fun to see her get excited over a card, some grocery store flowers, and an inexpensive gift. She knows I don’t give a flip about fathers day, but she will reciprocate anyway. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/22 "2004-05-10T17:08:41Z")
Yes I gave my wife a card and gifts. Signed the pet’s names and the toddler’s name to the card… She does the same for Father’s Day. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/23 "2004-05-10T17:14:49Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > You definitely give a pregnant mom-to-be some nice stuff. Most definitely. But you’re not a mother yet. My wife did not want me to get her anything last year while she was pregnant (this year was totally different.) My father didn’t get my mother a gift when she was pregnant with my older brother, even though she was due to be induced the next day. It’s been 37 years, and she still reminds him. Last year, she got my wife a gift… but she forgot me on father’s day. The complete double-standard did not bother her a bit, at least until I pointed it out to my dad, and he spent the rest of Father’s day yanking her chain. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bren_Cameron_1)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/24 "2004-05-10T17:26:43Z")
“You’re not my mother” only flies, IMHO, when he’s helping kiddo(s) produce something. Now, in my house mother’s day and father’s day aren’t big deals, but I expect at least “happy mother’s day!” and something token from the kids–this year it was some marigolds they’d potted up at school. When father’s day rolls around, I help them put something together for him–last year we made shapes out of salt dough and painted them and glued them to magnets. Anything bigger than that just isn’t called for–I agree with those who object to all the marketing. Personally, I don’t care about gifts, but an acknowledgment that you are, indeed, the mother of his children is in order, I’d think. If he won’t bring you a flower for a child too young to make something, or wish you happy mother’s day, then yeah, I’d be ticked. If he won’t buy something expensive for you, in addition to whatever the kids might have made…well, I guess I have less sympathy then. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/25 "2004-05-10T17:30:21Z")
> [@Futile Gesture](#): > > I think there’s something very creepy about mixing up the statuses of Mother & Wife. It points to a basic confusion about the role of your spouse. > > And Mothers’ Day is a greeting card company invention. 😉 This looks like a good time to Fight Some Ignorance. A guilt-ridden 56 year old woman did it because when her ma kicked the bucket in 1905. Anna Jarvis was “consumed with guilt for all the things she had not done for her mother” for two full years before, in 1907, she decided to commemorate the old bat’s death on the 2nd Sunday in May, the anniversary of the big day. > [@](#): > > Early in the spring of 1908, Miss Jarvis wrote to the superintendent of Andrews Methodist Sunday School in Grafton (West Virginia) where her mother had taught a weekly religion class for twenty years. She suggested that the local church would be an ideal location for a celebration in her mother’s honor. By extension, all mothers present would receive recognition…. At the conclusion of that service Miss Jarvis presented each mother and child with a flower: a **carnation,** her mother’s own favorite. The US Gubmint eventually passed legislation to make it an official holiday on May 8, 1914. Thank you Woodrow and company. American observance of Mother’s Day is mirrored by the older British observance of Mothering Sunday which falls on the fourth Sunday of Lent. In all fairness to the holiday and Miss Jarvis, she > [@](#): > > …never did marry and, childless, came to view each Mother’s Day as a painful mockery. And as commercialization encroached upon what had been intended as a religious observance, she became litigious, initiating lawsuits against companies seeking to profit from Mother’s Day. The suits failed…. Her story went downhill from there until she died deaf, ailing, nearly blind, childless and alone in a nuthouse in 1948 at the age of 84. –From _Extraordinary Origins of Everyday Things_ ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/26 "2004-05-10T17:36:55Z")
> [@](#): > > And I’m always happy when she’s happy. Expressed in other terms, of course: _If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t **NO** body happy._ * * * And, yes, I [recognized Deb as the mother of my children](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4842265#post4842265). ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/27 "2004-05-10T21:29:02Z")
[QUOTE=Bren\_CameronPersonally, I don’t care about gifts, but an acknowledgment that you are, indeed, the mother of his children is in order, I’d think. [/QUOTE] Exactly. On Father’s Day last year I used an ink pad to stamp Alex’s feet onto a piece of drawing paper, colored on it, and wrote Happy Father’s Day in big letters, To Dad From Alex, done. It’s not like it was HARD or anything (well, it was a bit difficult getting Alex to uncurl his toes and stop squirming - took a couple hours to get a decect stamp), and I know That Guy really liked it. I just would have liked a similar courtesy. ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/28 "2004-05-10T23:21:21Z")
**Stonebow** has always presented me with a gift\* for Mother’s Day and a beautiful card. He also helps any of our children out who need nudging or a ride/money for gifts. True, I’m not _his_ mother, but I did lay on a freezing cold table for five hours while they surgically removed _his_ child from my body. Plus, he sleeps peacefully next to me every night, or at least he will as long as he keeps appreciating me 😛 FB \*The gift are never overly fancy or expensive. Sometimes it has been breakfast in bed and a bouquet of flowers…once a heart-shaped pendant with all the children’s birthstones…this year was a nice pool float of my very own, so I don’t have to use those horrid “fun-noodles”. ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/29 "2004-05-11T00:13:57Z")
Why yes, of _course_. Well, provided there are children in the family, that is. This year, **Mrs. Bughunter** is pregnant with our first child, so I gave her a rather witty card that said basically: “Happy Mothers Day from the guy who made it possible for you to celebrate this day.” Inside, “And believe me, it was a pleasure. (wink wink)” And on the back, “You can thank me later.” Heh… that card cracks me up! She was less than thrilled, however. I gave her this between the paws of a giant stuffed tiger. She likes tigers, because my pet name for her is “Tiger.” And today is the 2nd anniversary of our first date. How things change! ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/30 "2004-05-11T01:07:24Z")
Yes. Dangerosa is a mother (of our two children) in addition to being my wife. I buy her a present (from the kids), wish her a happy Mother’s Day and generally try to be as nice as I can all day. It’s one day out of the year when she’s the Most Important Person In The House. I get one on Father’s Day. The other 363 belong to the kids. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/31 "2004-05-11T07:49:30Z")
> [@Nametag](#): > > she’s getting cards from \ the dog > [@beagledave](#): > > Signed the pet’s names No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Pet’s ain’t people! You are not your pets’ parents! ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/32 "2004-05-11T09:55:33Z")
My wife is not the mother of my daughter. But, when my daughter started calling my wife “mom”, my wife started getting mothers day gifts from me and my daughter. She earned the title of “mom”, plays the role, therefore gets the goods. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/33 "2004-05-11T21:43:44Z")
> [@Futile Gesture](#): > > I think there’s something very creepy about mixing up the statuses of Mother & Wife. It points to a basic confusion about the role of your spouse. > > And Mothers’ Day is a greeting card company invention. 😉 I agree with this sentiment, and do not accept the idea of giving cards or gifts to every female friend and relative far and wide. But: I do give a gift and/or flowers to my mother. I do give a small gift (in recent years, a live flowering plant) to my wife, as the mother of my stepdaughter. I think it’s proper to respect that part of who she is. It also makes a declaration that I’m happy and proud to have accepted her child as part of the package when I married her. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/34 "2004-05-11T21:57:30Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! > > Pet’s ain’t people! You are not your pets’ parents! I know I’m not my cats’ parents, but I can’t for the life of me understand why you people get so worked up over this. People do form attachments to their pets. Get over it. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/35 "2004-05-11T22:59:49Z")
This year my 22-year old niece gave me a Mother’s Day card that she “signed” for my four dogs, my cat and my horse. She said that I deserved somethig for all the love and care I give them throughout the year. StG ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/36 "2004-05-12T00:01:43Z")
Of course! It’s not much, just a couple of cards (one from me, the other from our two year-old), a balloon (insisted upon by Sophie), dinner, and a massage, but yeah. You mean there’s an option not to? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/37 "2004-05-12T03:30:50Z")
I’ve been mulling over this “It’s a holiday created by card companies.” stuff for the last couple days. I don’t feel the same way about that sort of stuff. And then it hit me… Just a short while ago I got a card and a flowering plant (no _dead_ flowers from me) for Mrs. FtG in honor of the anniversary of our first kiss. (And it was a _long_ time ago.) Of course Hallmark makes no such specific card. The stores don’t have “anniversary of first kiss” sales and such. This is what I do. I like doing this. Any old excuse is good enough to me. That plus **tomndebb** ’s quote about “If momma ain’t happy…” ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/38 "2004-05-12T07:09:16Z")
> [@Spectre of Pithecanthropus](#): > > I know I’m not my cats’ parents, but I can’t for the life of me understand why you people get so worked up over this. People do form attachments to their pets. Get over it. Oh, I really don’t want to open a Pit Thread about this. Can’t we just agree that you people are very silly? 😕😛 ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399/39 "2004-05-12T12:02:23Z")
We aren’t terribly ‘gifty’ around here – I don’t get too het up about most of the manufactured ‘special days’ out there. I’m not even a maniac about getting stuff for my birthday and such. My family has usually taken me out to breakfast or dinner on Mother’s Day in the past. And everyone says “Happy Mother’s Day,” of course. This year, however, I did get an actual present – I’ve been wanting a mother’s bracelet and Kevin bought me one. he also went out while I was sleeping and bought doughnuts for breakfast. My son (and this is the last Mother’s Day he’ll be living at home since he’s leaving for boot camp in November) sent me an e-card. So I was well satisfied. My dad has a handful of little jokes he recycles. On Mother’s Day, when asked if he did anything for my mom, he can be counted on to say, “She’s not my mother – I’m an orphan!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/husbands-do-you-give-wives-a-moms-day-gift/244399.md?page=1)