# Hush little baby, don't say a word **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [January 30, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775 "2009-01-30T20:10:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/21 "2009-01-31T08:41:02Z")
If that Fly makes your pee-pee itch, Mama’s gonna buy you a real live witch; If that witch can’t cast no spells, Momma’s gonna buy you some silver bells, ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/22 "2009-01-31T09:57:58Z")
And if those silver bells don’t chime Mama’s gonna bake a pie of key lime And if that pie doesn’t taste delicious Mama’s gonna smash up all her dishes ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/23 "2009-01-31T10:18:11Z")
And if Ma can’t break all that crockery, Mama’s gonna buy herself all new frockery. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/24 "2009-01-31T11:24:18Z")
And if those dresses aren’t so spiff Mama’s gonna roll you a big fat spliff And if that weed don’t make you mellow Mama’s gonna find you a handsome fellow ---
**Author:** ![seodoa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@seodoa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seodoa)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/25 "2009-01-31T11:54:38Z")
And if that fellow’s got VD Mama’s gonna buy you some Chinese tea and if that tea is a bit too acidic Mama’s gonna buy you an old Hasidic And if that Hasidic don’t know the Torah Mama’s gonna buy you a new menorah And if that menorah doesn’t shine Mama’s gonna buy you some Manischewitz wine And if that wine doesn’t get you drunk Mama’s gonna be in a downright funk ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/26 "2009-01-31T12:01:15Z")
If that diamond ring turns brass mama’s gonna kick that salesman’s ass When that salesman is dead broke mama’s gonna buy you a billy goat I never understood why buying a brass diamond ring was anything to gloss over, someone’s going down! ---
**Author:** ![seodoa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@seodoa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seodoa)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/27 "2009-01-31T12:12:12Z")
When did anybody say anything about a diamond ring? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/28 "2009-01-31T15:46:37Z")
> [@seodoa](#): > > When did anybody say anything about a diamond ring? :dubious: Insert between posts 25 and 26: If that funk’s less Sly than Bing Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/29 "2009-01-31T18:03:53Z")
And if that diamond ring is zircon, Mama’s gonna buy you a kosher gherkin. And if that gherkin ain’t just so, Mama’s gonna make you a CEO. And if you file for bankruptcy, Mama’s gonna buy you the Presidency. And if your country votes Obama, Mama’s gonna buy you a different mama. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/30 "2009-01-31T18:44:11Z")
And if that different mama births eight Mama’s gonna buy you a whole new fate. And if that whole new fate’s not good. Mama’s gonna buy you a brand new hood. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/31 "2009-01-31T22:24:12Z")
And if that hood’s not little and red Mama’s gonna buy you a four post bed And if that bed don’t help you rest Mama’s gonna buy you a green ski vest ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/32 "2009-01-31T22:29:25Z")
If that ski vest doesn’t fit Mama’s gonna get you big fake tits And if those tits don’t earn free drinks [del]Mama’s gonna get you a bigger set[/del] [del]You’re going to have to stop drinking top shelf liquor[/del] Mama’s gonna buy you a skating rink ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/33 "2009-01-31T23:16:44Z")
And if that skating rink makes you fall Mama’s gonna buy you a big beach ball And if that ball should start to deflate Mama’s gonna buy you a garden gate ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/34 "2009-01-31T23:38:20Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > And if that skating rink makes you fall > Mama’s gonna buy you a big beach ball > And if that ball should start to deflate > Mama’s gonna buy you a garden gate And if that garden gate won’t swing, Mama’s gonna fry you a chicken wing If that chicken wing gives you gas Mama’s gonna kick your li’l chicken ass! ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/35 "2009-02-01T00:47:20Z")
And if that chicken ass won’t fart Mama’s gonna buy you vision chart And if that vision chart’s too blurry Mama’s gonna buy you a vindaloo curry. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/36 "2009-02-01T01:01:48Z")
And if that vindaloo’s not hot Mama’s gonna have the cook there shot And if Mama goes down for the crime You ain’t gettin’ shit for a real long time But if someone else takes the fall Mama’s gonna buy you some alcohol ---
**Author:** ![Simmerdown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simmerdown/32/14859_2.png) [@Simmerdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simmerdown)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/37 "2009-02-01T03:39:58Z")
And if that al-co-hol ain’t strong Mama’s gonna buy you a six foot bong And if that binger don’t come with weed Mama’s gonna buy you a cannabis seed ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/38 "2009-02-01T06:37:10Z")
And if that seed should fail to sprout Mama’s gonna feed you sauerkraut And if that sauerkraut makes you cry Mama’s gonna bake you an apple pie ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/39 "2009-02-01T16:12:17Z")
And if that apple pie’s too tart Mama’s gonna buy you a work of art and if that work of art gets torn Mama’s gonna buy you a box of porn ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775/40 "2009-02-01T16:17:11Z")
And if that box of porn’s too blurry, Momma’s gonna buy you a coat that’s furry. And if that furry coat’s too gay, Momma’s give you a nice BJ. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hush-little-baby-dont-say-a-word/483775.md?page=3)