# Hw could you best exploit the ability to self-teleport? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 24, 2013, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068 "2013-12-24T06:07:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/21 "2013-12-24T15:54:46Z")
> [@CT\_Damsel](#): > > I vaguely recall a scene from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. One of them goes to a bank with the female character requesting a tour of the vault so the “little lady” will feel secure about her deposit. I can not think of any other way to see inside a place with lots of money. If you can teleport parts of objects then you could use your teleportation to bore your way into a vault. You just touch the vault, then teleport away carrying off as big a chunk of the vault wall as your mass limit will let you. Then you teleport back and touch the bottom of the hole you just gouged in the vault, and teleport away another chunk, and repeat. You don’t even have to make a human sized hole; just one big enough to see through. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/22 "2013-12-24T16:02:31Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > More like the books, which doesn’t have the “hunted by ancient order of assassins” thing. And the second book, _Reflex_, is a solid cautionary tale for keeping the ability secret. There’s a second book!? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Lurker\_Above](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Lurker\_Above](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Lurker_Above)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/23 "2013-12-24T16:15:04Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > But I’d think about a little Vigilante Justice, **oh my, yes**! That’s even more like the novel Jumper! Seriously, it’s a bit weird reading the novel post-9/11. On a personal level I might find it difficult to resist the one-big-score crime from the book. Step 1) manage to look inside a bank vault during the day, Step 2) teleport in after hours. It’s really hard to come up with a legal, ethical and completely secret way monetize this kind of teleportation. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Lurker\_Above](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Lurker\_Above](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Lurker_Above)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/24 "2013-12-24T16:16:23Z")
> [@MegaBee](#): > > There’s a second book!? And a third. Though I really only recommend the first two. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/25 "2013-12-24T16:17:07Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Sounds a lot like the movie [Jumper.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jumper_%28film%29) Which looked a lot like the classic Bester novel _The Stars My Destination_. Poor Al. Forgotten except as an evil telepath. ETA: Which is part of why I don’t read much new sf. A huge part of it is Hot Young Authors rediscovering\* themes and stories well-worked by their elder betters long before they were born. The poster boy for whom is frequently admired here. - whether in their minds or in the pulp stacks, I won’t say. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/26 "2013-12-24T16:32:30Z")
Well, after making enough of a nest egg (robbing a brinks truck or unloading a shipment of iphones or something) I’d probably travel the world. Then travel the solar system. Then travel… ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/27 "2013-12-24T16:35:32Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > How often can this ability be used? Can I teleport again within seconds, or is there a refractory period? Only for men. ---
**Author:** ![Krouget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b38774/32.png) [@Krouget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krouget)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/28 "2013-12-24T16:52:39Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > I win the James Randi prize for a million dollars to tide me over. Then as a publicly acknowledged teleporter I offer my services (for a _reasonable_ fee; I’m not greedy but I need to eat) to NASA and/or other space exploration organizations. A spacesuit and backpack is enough to let me carry all sorts of scientific packages all over the Solar System, given how much of it NASA has photographed. With some training I could presumably build larger devices, bringing the parts piece by piece. This sounds like fun, and I’d throw in the fact that I’d visit a lot of places on earth…right after I design and put together a costume. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/29 "2013-12-24T17:35:34Z")
> [@krouget](#): > > this sounds like fun, and i’d throw in the fact that i’d visit a lot of places on earth…right after i design and put together a costume. **{edna} NO CAPES! {/edna}** ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/30 "2013-12-24T17:49:21Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > How often can this ability be used? Can I teleport again within seconds, or is there a refractory period? You can re-teleport in a matter of seconds, as fast as you can visualize or think of a destination and decide to make the jump. [QUOTE=The Lurker Above] n a personal level I might find it difficult to resist the one-big-score crime from the book. Step 1) manage to look inside a bank vault during the day, Step 2) teleport in after hours. [/QUOTE] I wonder, though, if this would really do you any good. Bank vaults don’t generally just have piles of cash lying around, do they? Surely they’re stashed in locked boxes, so you’d still have to break into those. And if the interior of the vault has a security camera, you’d better bring a mask. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/31 "2013-12-24T17:56:09Z")
Do I have the ability to teleport away _without_ something that is attached to my body but isn’t a natural part of it, like a knife ,a bullet…or cancer? ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/32 "2013-12-24T18:05:26Z")
I would decide on a few of the worst tyrants of the world and assassinate them. And using the media attention that would be obviously afforded to me because of the ability, I would warn the rest of the world that unless they were on a clear path towards reforming to allow more respect for human life and the betterment of their citizens, I would assassinate them and whoever followed them. Dictators, warlords, whoever is responsible for creating the most human suffering. Now they could go hide in bunkers that I wouldn’t have a map/picture/etc of and remain safe, but they might not know the limitations of my powers, and so there’s a decent chance they might at least make some sort of reasonable gestures towards being less dickish. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/33 "2013-12-24T18:10:10Z")
> [@MegaBee](#): > > There’s a second book!? There are three books based in the original **Jumper** universe, and Der Trihs and Mangetout will find the latest one - **Impulse** - interesting as the teen daughter of the protagonist does indeed work out how to fly using teleportation. There’s also a short story set between books 2 and 3 titled Shade that’s a fun read. There’s a fourth book by the same author - **Jumper: Griffin’s Story** - set in the universe of the movie as a prequel, also pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Lurker\_Above](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Lurker\_Above](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Lurker_Above)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/34 "2013-12-24T18:25:54Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > I wonder, though, if this would really do you any good. Bank vaults don’t generally just have piles of cash lying around, do they? Surely they’re stashed in locked boxes, so you’d still have to break into those. And if the interior of the vault has a security camera, you’d better bring a mask. I haven’t seen the interior of a lot of vaults lately but I imagine the cash is in lockers of some sort. But the reward:effort ratio has to be pretty good for someone who can effortlessly get themselves and any man-portable tools into the vault. And it’s not like the cops/security guards can sneak up on you. Though since you’d have to somehow launder the cash I wonder if there’s some kind of pseudo-insider trading scheme one could pull off by spying on corporate executives or government officials. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/35 "2013-12-24T18:39:55Z")
> [@The\_Lurker\_Above](#): > > Though since you’d have to somehow launder the cash I wonder if there’s some kind of pseudo-insider trading scheme one could pull off by spying on corporate executives or government officials. I’d think the best use for getting spendable cash would be to follow in the footsteps of so many modern caper films - rob criminals. No legal ramifications, the money is pre-laundered, and if you take precautions to protect your identity no retaliation. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/36 "2013-12-24T18:58:52Z")
If you’re a known teleporter you are Suspect One for every “perfect” burglary or murder, unless your limitation about being able to visualize the LZ is well established. And if you did want to remain “underground” AND use it for property crime, your teleport outfit had better include a full-face cover and gloves and very generic-soled shoes. You will also become an ideal terrorist group/spy agency hitman for secure areas – get past the security checkpoint, go into the men’s room, and from there retrieve from your home base the weaponry. One problem we milder-mannered folk may have with the attractive idea of using this power to travel on faraway holidays without paying airfare and sleeping in our own beds is with paperwork, specifically entry-exit records. For instance if I’m bamfing my way across Europe at some point I may be stopped for some minor transgression and asked at what point did I \*enter \*the Schengen zone within the last 90 days. Oh, sure, I can just bamf myself away from any unpleasant encounter with the authorities but eventually they’ll post my face at the police websites and that’s no way to see the world. Also if you’d rather not many people notice you, you’re going to have to start scouting alleyways, public restrooms, less-used park trails, etc., or moving only in the wee small hours of the morning. Materializing out of thin air among the Elgin Marbles in mid-afternoon is going to draw attention. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/37 "2013-12-24T19:21:20Z")
I would use it to cut to the front of the line at Disney World. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/38 "2013-12-24T19:25:16Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Do I have the ability to teleport away _without_ something that is attached to my body but isn’t a natural part of it, like a knife ,a bullet…or cancer? No. The teleportation ability doesn’t have any Star Trek hacks attached to it that allow you to do anything but move yourself and what you’re carrying. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/39 "2013-12-24T19:37:34Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > No. The teleportation ability doesn’t have any Star Trek hacks attached to it that allow you to do anything but move yourself and what you’re carrying. Damn. There goes my brilliant idea for a teleportation-based moving company. “[Two Men and a Wormhole](http://www.twomenandatruck.com/home)” was _so_ close to happening in this world. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068/40 "2013-12-24T20:16:30Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > No. The teleportation ability doesn’t have any Star Trek hacks attached to it that allow you to do anything but move yourself and what you’re carrying. Which means that if you’re tied down tight to a post or other large object, you can’t **bampf** away, right? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hw-could-you-best-exploit-the-ability-to-self-teleport/677068.md?page=3)