# Hybrid Olympic events we'd like to see **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 19, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589 "2004-08-19T18:54:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2004, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/41 "2004-08-22T17:52:50Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > This thread is cracking me up! You bastards are waking up my neighbor, knock it off already! > Another possibility is volleysabre - whoops…I misread that. I thought you said **volley-bras**. My mind is still reeling from the images. Teams of large breasted women slapping each other’s titties. Oh well, back to the marathon shot put. How many shots of tequila can I put away in a day? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2004, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/42 "2004-08-22T17:59:16Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > This thread is cracking me up! You bastards are waking up my neighbor, knock it off already! > Another possibility is volleysabre - whoops…I misread that. I thought you said **volley-bras**. My mind is still reeling from the images. Teams of large breasted women slapping each other’s titties. Oh well, back to the marathon shot put. How many shots of tequila can I put away in a day? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/43 "2004-08-22T18:03:48Z")
hmmm, am I seeing double already? Not good. Although, I guess that would depend on what sport your in. Double tag team volley-bra anyone? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2004, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/44 "2004-08-22T18:08:52Z")
Not a hybrid, but a way to set new records: In the relay race, change the baton to a lit stick of dynamite. That last guy is gonna run like a sonuvabitch! ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/45 "2004-08-22T19:08:31Z")
> [@Wolfian](#): > > Serious one. Mounted archery. I’d watch that. Saggitarius!! How about a bunch of Astrology-themed events? Aries: Ram wrestling Taurus: Bull wrestling Geminii: Any synchronized sport, but contestants must be actual twins Cancer: Live crab toss Leo: Lion wrestling Virgo: ummmmmmmmm…virgin wrestling? I didn’t really think this through before I started…maybe it could be a room-cleaning contest? Libra: I see a combo of weightlifting and balance beam Scorpio: Live scorpion toss Capricorn: Goat felching (Oh no did I say that out loud?) Aquarius: I see a 50m dash while carrying a 1-gallon jug of water in each hand Pisces: I see a contest where several live fish are released in the pool. The person who catches the most fish with their bare hands is the winner :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2004, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/46 "2004-08-22T19:30:49Z")
Sumo diving. Score points for pushing your opponent off the platform, and have some deducted if he turns the fall into a dive graceful enough to impress the judges. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2004, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/47 "2004-08-23T21:24:20Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > Saggitarius!! > > How about a bunch of Astrology-themed events? > Geminii: Any synchronized sport, but contestants must be actual twins You mean split personalities don’t count? Dang! And we thought we had that one in the bag. 😃😛 ---
**Author:** ![PussyCow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/22d042/32.png) [@PussyCow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PussyCow)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2004, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/48 "2004-08-23T21:51:57Z")
How about skeet surfing? Like in _Top Secret_. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2004, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/49 "2004-08-23T21:59:39Z")
> [@PussyCow](#): > > How about skeet surfing? > Like in _Top Secret_. If you ever go surfing on skeet, _puh-lease_ keep it Top Secret! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2004, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/50 "2004-08-23T22:00:55Z")
Trampoline judo. White water yachting. Tae Kwon Do on ice with ice scates. ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2004, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/51 "2004-08-23T22:02:31Z")
Javelin Relay: throw the Javelin to your teammates and cross the line first! Or the slightly less dangerous Javelin Dash: Throw your spear, run over to it, repeat. Available in 500m, 1k, and Marathon. Pole Vaulting Hurdles: Just like regular hurdles, but taller. Bungee Judo: Competitors are attached to a bungee cord that allows unrestricted movement in the ring. An attempt to throw your opponent outside the field will cause them to come rocketing back into the playing area. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/52 "2004-08-24T00:22:23Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > Pisces: I see a contest where several live fish are released in the pool. The person who catches the most fish with their bare hands is the winner _Piranha_ fish. Or they have to catch the ordinary fish in the mouths. Skeet surfing 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/53 "2004-08-24T01:04:33Z")
Bronc-sledding- simpy push a bull with a rider down a bobsled run. The rider has to stay aboard. Skeet-jumping- Skeet shooters try to hit ski jumpers. Their handicap is that they are firing blind from directly under the bottom edge of the jump, and the audience must help them time their shots. Ice track and field – events exactly the same except all horizontal surfaces are covered with 4 inches of ice, Including landing pits, mats and bars. Uneven Parallel Dressage- riders must compete standing on the backs of two horses of unequal height. The Dismount- this is conceived of as all gynastic dismounts combined in the same competition. The winner is the one who can jump onto a standard gym mat from the highest point and walk away on no more than two limbs (any two). ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/54 "2004-08-24T01:46:31Z")
> [@TJdude825](#): > > Just add “rhythmic,” “equestrian,” or “synchronized” to the beginning of everything: Synchronized weightlifting, rhythmic kayaking, equestrian fencing (I guess that’s jousting, right?), etc. During the 2000 Olympics, when Synchronized Swimming and Synchronized Diving were added as medal sports, _The Onion_ had an infographic where they mentioned synchronized weightlifting. I like the Fox Sports Net commercials where they made up fake foreign sports like two sumo wrestlers glaring at each other and then the referee suddenly lifting up the arm of the “winner.” Or the guy high-diving into a sand pit. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/55 "2004-08-24T13:15:54Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > I nominate the original Marathon - you have to wear a bronze breastplate, helm, and greaves, studded leather skirt, carry a spear and shield, and dodge enemy javelins. Extra points if you fall over dead after crossing the finish line. ---
**Author:** ![PussyCow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/22d042/32.png) [@PussyCow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PussyCow)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/56 "2004-08-24T13:34:52Z")
Oh! The [upperclass twit of the year](http://www.jumpstation.ca/recroom/comedy/python/twit.html) ! ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/57 "2004-08-24T16:01:23Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > What’s up with the decathalon? Ski a little, then shoot at stuff, then ski some more. Who the hell thought up that combination? Or curling – hey, let’s combine figure skating with shuffleboard. Great idea. :rolleyes: Ay, ay, ay! This comes up every Olympics, Winter or Summer, and this is at least the second time it’s been brought up on these boards during these Games. So let’s review: The winter biathlon is based on a **standard military exercise** for winter conditions. Far from making no sense, it still has an obvious practical application. Cross-country skiing is the most efficient way to get around in snowy terrain. Rifle shooting under pressure is something every infantry soldier needs to know. Any more questions? And that’s not even discussing physically fit members of the appropriate sex in all-over skin-tight uniforms. What’s not to like? ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/58 "2004-08-24T21:36:15Z")
Men’s beach volley-hurdles. In thongs, if you please. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/59 "2004-08-24T21:37:36Z")
And shouldn’t there be some event where athletes have to balance a hardback copy of \*Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix \* on their heads? ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589/60 "2004-08-24T21:46:30Z")
High bar diving. Put the bar ten meters over the pool and make competitors minimize splash instead of stick the landings. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hybrid-olympic-events-wed-like-to-see/260589.md?page=2)