# Hypothetical: A woman has a big black eye bruise **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 21, 2016, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515 "2016-07-21T19:04:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/21 "2016-07-21T20:57:14Z")
Happened to my mother. She swore it was just an accident, but even I was deeply suspicious that pop may have bashed her one. She was so ashamed of what people would think, she didn’t go out of the house till it faded. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/22 "2016-07-21T21:02:22Z")
> [@susan](#): > > So you’re assuming DV only occurs in male-female relationships? No, but male-female violence is the stereotypical example. ---
**Author:** ![spamforbrains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@spamforbrains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spamforbrains)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/23 "2016-07-21T21:06:48Z")
That exact scenario happened to me. The doctor and several friends and relatives openly accused my then-boyfriend of doing the deed (it wasn’t him) and much drama and explaining ensued. ---
**Author:** ![Amara\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7993a0/32.png) [@Amara\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amara_1)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/24 "2016-07-21T21:09:28Z")
We have two TaeKwonDo instructors who are married to each other. One day, the woman came in with a splint to her hand. We all made fun of her and asked her what her husband looked like :). I’ve had a friend who had a black eye from some stupid accident and we just joked about it. Nobody assumed that her husband hits her. My younger daughter has bruises and cuts all over her leg; even her ped. was joking that apparently we beat her but only target her legs :). It was funny and totally not meant seriously. He did check her blood iron level and the verdict is just that she is clumsy. ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/25 "2016-07-21T23:33:04Z")
Happened to me, i got so many dirty looks, I started telling the dirty lookers, “I didn’t do it.” ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/26 "2016-07-22T00:22:33Z")
One time when I was a live-in tutor at a university college, I came in for breakfast one morning with an enormous shiner on my right eye. Following conversation ensued with the Dinner Ladies: DL #1: Hell, what happened to your eye there? Me: Skiid into a fence. (this was actually true. ProTip - don’t wear your glasses under a pair of goggles, no matter how crap your eyesight is) DL #2 (to DL #1): You know, I didn’t want to say anything about that. I mean, what if she had a new abusive boyfriend or something? DL #1: Naah, always ask. I mean, if she wants to she can just lie, can’t she? (I assume they did not in fact conclude that I was lying. But who knows!) ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/27 "2016-07-22T00:33:00Z")
Once when my partner was doing promotions of entertainers and bands we went up to a small isolated town to do an event. Somehow that day a bug bit me or something and my whole right eye puffed up so hard I could barely see out of it. I didn’t go to the bar that night to work the door, because I looked abused, it was a small isolated town where everyone knew everyone and the optics weren’t good. If I had been at home, I would not have thought twice. I know the truth. But in a town where few people spoke English, as an outsider it was better not to be the chick with a puffy eye. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/28 "2016-07-22T01:47:36Z")
Years ago, my wife got hit in the face with a line drive during a company softball game. She had a big black eye and one time as she was walking down the street a cab driver yelled out “he’s not worth it!” ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/29 "2016-07-22T02:53:23Z")
> [@Bridget\_Burke](#): > > Yup. Most people won’t assume domestic violence unless they know the guy is a short-tempered asshole. > [@MandaJo](#): > > IME people do not assume “domestic violence” unless there are repeated poorly-explained injuries. Truly. I can only assume that you two live in a different region than the following two… 😉 > [@MadTheSwine](#): > > Happened to me, i got so many dirty looks, I started telling the dirty lookers, “I didn’t do it.” > [@BeeGee](#): > > I got a lot of sad looks, a few head shakes, and two different women came up to me to tell me I didn’t have to take that kind of treatment any more. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/30 "2016-07-22T03:09:41Z")
Goodness, if someone thought I was being abused every time I walked out of the house looking like I’d been beat all to hell, then I’d never step foot outside. Because honestly, I’m the most klutzy, accident prone person you can imagine. I’m constantly walking into door frames, banging into chairs, and dropping crap onto the top of my feet or into my shins. Right now, I’ve got so many small bruises that it’s not worth counting and enough scratches to look like I’ve either stumbled through a briar patch or really pissed my cat off. And all that’s ever happened to me throughout my life, even while married, is folks have (a) joked about it, (b) assumed it’s from playing sports or © all of the above due to my clueless clumsiness. Never once due to a significant other that anyone has even hinted at. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/31 "2016-07-22T04:33:25Z")
It was in August a couple of years ago and I was watching my wife play first base in a softball game. A ball thrown toward third base came through a gap in the fence, hit the metal bleachers in front of me and bounced right into my left eye. Instant black eye and some bleeding where it cut my brow. Less than an hour later, same game still being played and my wife takes a line drive to her right eye, instant black eye too. So we did the only reasonable thing when we got home. We stuck our heads together and had a picture taken for the Christmas cards we would later send out to all our family and friends. That week I also started my current job so my employee ID card has a picture of me and my black eye. ---
**Author:** ![JacobSwan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@JacobSwan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JacobSwan)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/32 "2016-07-22T11:49:18Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Goodness, if someone thought I was being abused every time I walked out of the house looking like I’d been beat all to hell, then I’d never step foot outside. Because honestly, I’m the most klutzy, accident prone person you can imagine. I’m constantly walking into door frames, banging into chairs, and dropping crap onto the top of my feet or into my shins. Right now, I’ve got so many small bruises that it’s not worth counting and enough scratches to look like I’ve either stumbled through a briar patch or really pissed my cat off. > > And all that’s ever happened to me throughout my life, even while married, is folks have (a) joked about it, (b) assumed it’s from playing sports or (c) all of the above due to my clueless clumsiness. Never once due to a significant other that anyone has even hinted at. Are you my wife? She also walks into doors all the time and bangs her head on the roof of the car etc. Most of our friends know it’s not me hitting her so we don’t need to explain. Although she did have to explain the broken rib to a Dr. It turns out that with bronchitis you can cough so hard that you crack a rib. We have 3 sons that have ended up in casualty a few times due to boys being boys and hitting each other with toys. It’s quite common for the Dr to ask to speak to the child alone when the records show it’s the 3rd visit that year. I understand their concern, but still feel offended. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/33 "2016-07-22T12:06:55Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Goodness, if someone thought I was being abused every time I walked out of the house looking like I’d been beat all to hell, then I’d never step foot outside. Because honestly, I’m the most klutzy, accident prone person you can imagine. I’m constantly walking into door frames, banging into chairs, and dropping crap onto the top of my feet or into my shins. Right now, I’ve got so many small bruises that it’s not worth counting and enough scratches to look like I’ve either stumbled through a briar patch or really pissed my cat off. _[patient, understanding voice]_ Look, **faithfool** , this is a safe space and you can talk to us. No one deserves to be abused. We are here to help. _[/puv]_ 😉 If my wife had a black eye, I would keep ice on it, and not worry until Social Services shows up at the door. Increased awareness of domestic abuse is a good thing - I can put up with a certain amount of suspicion if it results. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/34 "2016-07-22T21:12:13Z")
One time in my early 20’s I got up in the middle of the night, was disoriented and pulled the bedroom door open hard into my own face. I had a really nasty black eye for a while. So much fun telling people I ran into a door… ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/35 "2016-07-22T21:25:02Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Goodness, if someone thought I was being abused every time I walked out of the house looking like I’d been beat all to hell, then I’d never step foot outside. Because honestly, I’m the most klutzy, accident prone person you can imagine. I’m constantly walking into door frames, banging into chairs, and dropping crap onto the top of my feet or into my shins. Right now, I’ve got so many small bruises that it’s not worth counting and enough scratches to look like I’ve either stumbled through a briar patch or really pissed my cat off. > > And all that’s ever happened to me throughout my life, even while married, is folks have (a) joked about it, (b) assumed it’s from playing sports or (c) all of the above due to my clueless clumsiness. Never once due to a significant other that anyone has even hinted at. Were you born on a Tuesday, by any chance? I was, and am supposed to be “full of grace.” Totally am, if Grace can be interpreted as clumsy, accident prone (hello, door, when did you get there? Crap, did we move the bed? Ow, that was my foot, ouch… oh well.) just generally a klutz. I used to tell people the bruise fairy liked to pinch me in my sleep, because I never know what caused any given tiny little ouchie. While we were dating, my now-husband took to calling me Grace as a nickname. Hmph. Tuesday’s child is full of bruises. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/36 "2016-07-22T21:27:14Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > One time in my early 20’s I got up in the middle of the night, was disoriented and pulled the bedroom door open hard into my own face. I had a really nasty black eye for a while. So much fun telling people I ran into a door… I have done that, too. I told my boyfriend I would look really really sad before saying “…um…I ran into a door…” He was not amused. 😃 Sadly, anyone who knew me immediately guessedi t was accidentally self inflicted. ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/37 "2016-07-22T21:34:32Z")
It was a boaking accident. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/38 "2016-07-22T22:13:50Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > _[patient, understanding voice]_ Look, **faithfool** , this is a safe space and you can talk to us. No one deserves to be abused. We are here to help. _[/puv]_ > > 😉 > > If my wife had a black eye, I would keep ice on it, and not worry until Social Services shows up at the door. Increased awareness of domestic abuse is a good thing - I can put up with a certain amount of suspicion if it results. > > Regards, > Shodan I think that is an intelligent choice. On the occasions when I have delicately asked a female friend about bruises or other injuries they have had no one has ever gotten angry. A few have also burst out laughing and asked if I honestly thought their spouses would still be alive if they had raised a hand to them (in which I respond with I was only asking in case they needed help disposing of the body). Most have expressed gratitude that someone is paying attention to the problem of domestic violence. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/39 "2016-07-23T00:24:34Z")
> [@JacobSwan](#): > > Are you my wife? She also walks into doors all the time and bangs her head on the roof of the car etc. Most of our friends know it’s not me hitting her so we don’t need to explain. Although she did have to explain the broken rib to a Dr. It turns out that with bronchitis you can cough so hard that you crack a rib. I don’t think so, but maybe a long lost sister of your wife. > [@raventhief](#): > > Were you born on a Tuesday, by any chance? I was, and am supposed to be “full of grace.” Totally am, if Grace can be interpreted as clumsy, accident prone (hello, door, when did you get there? Crap, did we move the bed? Ow, that was my foot, ouch… oh well.) just generally a klutz. > > I used to tell people the bruise fairy liked to pinch me in my sleep, because I never know what caused any given tiny little ouchie. > > While we were dating, my now-husband took to calling me Grace as a nickname. > > Hmph. Tuesday’s child is full of bruises. Sadly, it was only on a Monday. Perhaps there’s some crossover? And **Shodan** , you know I’d tell you guys. I trust y’all explicitly. ---
**Author:** ![babyblu15](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@babyblu15](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/babyblu15)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515/40 "2016-07-23T00:33:40Z")
[IMO, if that happens in an accident then nothing to worry about. Alright? Unless it will be a foul play or a pore play ???](http://xxxreviewcenter.com) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-a-woman-has-a-big-black-eye-bruise/760515.md?page=3)