# Hypothetical Suicide **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 3, 2008, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848 "2008-11-03T11:23:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/21 "2008-11-03T22:09:45Z")
“When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep – not screaming, like the passengers in his car” (Author Unknown) ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/22 "2008-11-03T22:14:37Z")
I was considering posting that. Personally, I’d say: “surprise me.” Seriously, I’m not good at the anticipation thing. Although being, say, torn apart by velociraptors might make the news. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/23 "2008-11-03T22:20:01Z")
Bullet through the head. Ooh, I know. A .50 cal sniper rifle. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/24 "2008-11-03T22:25:08Z")
Smothered to death by Dolly Parton. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/25 "2008-11-03T22:30:34Z")
[Nitrogen Asphyxiation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitrogen_asphyxiation) This is probably the most painless way to die possible. If the air in my room was surreptitiously replaced with an inert gas, I’d simply pass out without warning and not wake up. The only other contender is being instananeously vaporized by a nuclear explosion. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/26 "2008-11-03T22:39:32Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > God ages you to 93 and gets you shot to death by a jealous (gay) husband becaue you’re in bed with his (gay) husband, all in three seconds. Just curious, but why does it take God 3 seconds to do all of this stuff? Is this a reference I’m not familiar with? Because there’s nothing in the OP that says that God tells me I have to choose a way to die _at that moment_. According to the OP, He tells me to _choose my fate_. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/27 "2008-11-03T22:45:40Z")
My fate has been pre-chosen and I have no idea what it is. So, I choose the fate of waiting for own fate to unravel. ---
**Author:** ![Zeke\_N.Destroi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/4af34b/32.png) [@Zeke\_N.Destroi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeke_N.Destroi)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/28 "2008-11-03T23:53:20Z")
I know this is boring but I’d like to die in my sleep. I’d like to go to bed one night feeling heavy-tired and enjoy those few abstract moments between states and then not wake up. Failing that I want immediately fatal sudden trauma. The main thing is that I don’t want to feel it and I don’t want time to think about it. Snuff the brief flame and be quick about it 😉 ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/29 "2008-11-04T00:25:28Z")
I’ve heard that people, who have died of a heroin overdose, say it’s a pretty good way to go; once they’ve been brought back. ---
**Author:** ![beanpod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9adbd/32.png) [@beanpod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beanpod)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/30 "2008-11-04T00:42:21Z")
Well, first, I don’t _want to know_ that I’m going to die, so God would have to make with the omnipotence and erase that from my brain. Then I’d prefer die in my sleep–again without ever knowing what happened. But I wouldn’t want my husband to have to wake up next to my dead body the next morning…so I suppose I’d prefer to die during a nap in the sun on a weekend afternoon. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/31 "2008-11-04T02:46:05Z")
I’d ask him if He could wait just a while, until I’d made that one big pitch, “one for the angels” Then I’d go. ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/32 "2008-11-04T03:54:47Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > So God gives you the perfect orgasm and then ages you to 100 in 3 seconds. Not to sound gay or anything, but if one of the options effectively allows me to have sex with God I must say i’m tempted. Wait, temptation bad. AAAAAAAAAARG! ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/33 "2008-11-04T04:55:25Z")
Very quietly, with no fuss, my heart stops and I fall over. That’s it. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Credible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@Justin\_Credible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Credible)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/34 "2008-11-04T05:21:16Z")
Set the controls for the heart of the sun, I’d tell Him - teleportation to the center of a star would be pretty cool. And then make it go nova, so I can take all these other bastards with me. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/35 "2008-11-04T06:22:37Z")
I’d like to have a huge matter-antimatter bomb explode in my chest. If I go, I’m taking y’all with me! But seriously now, I’d probably say “My time for what?” God would reply “Time to stop jerkin’ off inside your grandfather clock!” and we’d all have a good laugh. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/36 "2008-11-04T07:03:22Z")
My favorite, from [bash.org](http://bash.org/?488793). > [@](#): > > \: Best suicide plan ever > \: what is it? > \: you go up to the top of a roof > \: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level > \: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you’ll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched > \: then you put super glue on your hands > \: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head > \: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows > \: when the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down with no head…except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere. > \: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE. > \: i dont think i can be your friend anymore ---
**Author:** ![chocolatefrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/41988e/32.png) [@chocolatefrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chocolatefrog)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/37 "2008-11-04T09:59:22Z")
I’d taunt your God into smiting me. Failing that I’d choose an overdose on sleeping pills. ---
**Author:** ![threnodyangelfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@threnodyangelfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threnodyangelfire)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/38 "2008-11-04T10:18:32Z")
I’m boring. I’d like to live to old age and fall asleep next to my husband. And not wake up. I’m not undermining his reaction, I just don’t think that this is very likely. But really, how much better could it be than embracing someone you love while you’re asleep? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/39 "2008-11-04T15:31:06Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Just curious, but why does it take God 3 seconds to do all of this stuff? Is this a reference I’m not familiar with? Because there’s nothing in the OP that says that God tells me I have to choose a way to die _at that moment_. According to the OP, He tells me to _choose my fate_. “Your time has come” usually implies this is the big one, now. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848/40 "2008-11-04T15:33:51Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > “Your time has come” usually implies this is the big one, now. All by itself, sure. But in context, I read that as “the time has come for you to choose your fate.” If the OP meant for it to read, “the time has come for you to die, choose how,” that’s fine. I’m still waiting for an answer on the three second shot clock though, 'cause that’s just making no sense to me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hypothetical-suicide/470848.md?page=3)