# Hysterically Awful Movies (spoilers) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 17, 2004, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272 "2004-11-17T15:33:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/61 "2004-11-18T18:58:51Z")
**Congo** **Chopping Mall** - tagline: “There’s more than prices getting slashed!” **the Butterfly Effect** **Striptease** **Sisters** - early Brian DePalma ripoff-of-Hitchcock work “starring” Margo Kidder. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/62 "2004-11-18T19:00:35Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > I’ll offer Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, bad movie but actually funny at times. Anaconda was one sad piece of work, I couldn’t even finish it. Oh, but I _LOVED_ Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. And, the producers knew it was cheese. I think that’s why it’s a cult favorite. My biggest disappointment was the endings of two third of the Mariachi series, _Once Upon a Time in Mexico_. Great googly moogly, did it suck. It reached levels of suckitude previously unknown to man. And _Spy Kids, 3D_, the ending just had me rolling. Of all the times to stick in a silly moral platitude. It was just sooo… fake. Everyone in the theater was giving me offended looks, I was laughing that hard. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/63 "2004-11-18T19:02:53Z")
GAH!! - My biggest disappointment was the endings of two …\* Roberto Rodriguez movies, DAMMIT!! ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/64 "2004-11-18T19:08:54Z")
> [@Steve MB](#): > > _Batman and Robin_ is undoubtedly the worst movie I actually paid money to see in a theater. I’ve got you beat. I actually payed first run price to see [American Cyborg](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109098/), an attempt to do a Terminator type thing with the robot as a hero. Obviously this came out shortly after T2. It was horrible. The best quote from the movie was the MST3K comment from someone in the audience. (Yes, there were four of us. Two groups of two, calling out snide comments left and right.) > [@](#): > > Shut up! Noble celluloid **died** making this film! ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/65 "2004-11-18T19:10:19Z")
> [@Punoqllads](#): > > I can’t believe no one has mentioned Manos, Hands of Fate yet. Bad script. Bad directing. Bad cinematography. Bad sets. Bad acting. Bad, bad, bad, bad. Worse than Plan Nine, imho. I was going to. I just watched the MST3K version the other night. It’s astounding how horrible a movie can actually be. Plan 9 is an academy award winner compared to this. I like how the mads (separately) apologized to Joel and the 'bots for going a little overboard on their movie choice. One crack during the ending credits had me howling because it was the exact thing I was thinking at that point.“A crew?! They had a _crew_?!?!” ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/66 "2004-11-18T19:11:30Z")
> [@Punoqllads](#): > > I can’t believe no one has mentioned Manos, Hands of Fate yet. Bad script. Bad directing. Bad cinematography. Bad sets. Bad acting. Bad, bad, bad, bad. Worse than Plan Nine, imho. I was describing this horrible monstrosity of a film to one of my friends. He thought for a moment, then said that he seemed to have a vague memory of having heard the title. After some probing, he realized that as an 8 year-old boy, he’d actually been present on the set! In his cinematic innocence, he had no idea that the movie was legendary for its incomprehensible badness. Just to make sure he wasn’t pulling my chain, I did some checking. Turns out he wasn’t kidding. It was filmed at his grandfather’s ranch house. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/67 "2004-11-18T19:27:54Z")
**Route 666.** Or almost anything else featuring Lou Diamond Philips. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/68 "2004-11-18T19:40:24Z")
What? No **Starship Trooper**? ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/69 "2004-11-18T19:46:34Z")
Without a doubt, one of the worst movies of all time is _The Terror of Tiny Town_. What can one say about a singing cowboy movie with an _all dwarf_ cast? I guess one can say that the alleged “humour” of watching dwarfs (for those benighted souls who find odd-looking people funny) is that they are _small_. Now, if everyone in your movie is a dwarf, and all the sets are dwarf-sized, they don’t look small - just odd. So what you get is a singing cowboy movie cast with odd-looking non-actors. Dreadful beyond belief. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/70 "2004-11-18T20:38:15Z")
The best part of \*The Terror of Tiny Town \* is that everyone rides a hsetland pony and the film is sped up to make it look like they’re riding faster. That movie is a hoot! ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/71 "2004-11-18T20:43:30Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > What? > No **Starship Trooper**? Evil woman. I had managed to block it from my memory. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/72 "2004-11-18T21:06:40Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I guess one can say that the alleged “humour” of watching dwarfs (for those benighted souls who find odd-looking people funny) is that they are _small_. I think you’re assuming the worst there. Sure, some who have seen the movie are the type who enjoy sideshows but one could also say that some who’ve seen _Bugsy Malone_ did so because they like watching children, if you get my drift. ---
**Author:** ![vl\_mungo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@vl\_mungo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vl_mungo)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/73 "2004-11-18T21:11:59Z")
[Yor, Hunter From The Future](http://imdb.com/title/tt0084935/) He’s… THE MAN!!! (the man hang-gliding from the body of the dead pterodactyl, that is) ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/74 "2004-11-18T21:18:55Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > I think you’re assuming the worst there. Sure, some who have seen the movie are the type who enjoy sideshows but one could also say that some who’ve seen _Bugsy Malone_ did so because they like watching children, if you get my drift. If you can come up with an explaination for an all-dwarf musical western other than “dwarfs are funny”, I’d like to hear it! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/75 "2004-11-18T22:01:14Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > “Beowulf” with Christopher Lambert was laughably bad. Actually, my friend and I knew that when we saw it in the video store. But we saw Lambert was in it, which just made it that much funnier. We kept throwing in lots of Highlander references in there. God that movie was terrible! Sorry to Hijack, but has Christopher Lambert been in a good film? Highlander was kinda ok, and everything else I’ve seen him in has been just horrible. He’s not that bad of an actor, does his agent hate him? Did he sell his soul to the wrong devil? ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/76 "2004-11-18T22:01:19Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Yep, this woulda been my pick. They’re supposed to be coming out with a Criterion Collection DVD of it soon. “This is my happening and it freaks me out!” Really?! Yes! I _adore_ this film! The writers claim that they deliberately wrote as OTT as possible, but told the actors to play it straight. (no idea if that’s true, or the spin put on it). Bloody funny, funny film. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/77 "2004-11-18T22:22:46Z")
This POS was made under the eye of the great weirdo Howard Hughes…and directed by Dick Powell. It stars John Wayne as Ghengis Khan, uttering such immortal lines as “the woman, she is like the second pressing of the grape”-whatever that means! I was always interested in seeing this movie, because Hughes forbade it to be shown while he was alive (I guess he was really embarrassed!). Anyway, AMC has been showing it incessantly! Anybody know why? It was really a piece of dreck…but anybody know who played the treacherous sorceror/magician? I could swear it was Anthony Quinn! Oh, and I should add, the film was made in the Nevada desert, during the time the US Army was conduction A-Bomb tests…leading to speculation that the radaiation caused most of the cast to die of cancer! 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/78 "2004-11-18T22:39:29Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > If you can come up with an explaination for an all-dwarf musical western other than “dwarfs are funny”, I’d like to hear it! 😃 Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure that notion figured into it but the main reason was the novelty. This was supposed to be the first in a series of such films but it didn’t go anywhere - which is probably a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/79 "2004-11-18T22:39:50Z")
Dang, I was gonna nominate _Manos_. Bad acting, bad directing, bad lighting, bad script, bad costumes, bad sets…I’m pretty sure they even had bad catering. In lieu of _Manos_, I nominate _Prince of Space_. It has everything: laughable script, bad dubbes acting, and chicken men with saggy areas. The only bad non-MST3K movie I’ve seen worth mentioning is _Suburban Commando_ starring Mr. Terry “Hulk” Hogan. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2004, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/80 "2004-11-18T22:51:47Z")
> [@Jurph](#): > > **Xanadu**. Music by Olivia Newton-John and Jeff Lynne, performed by Electric Light Orchestra. If anyone is going to nominate a musical that helped kill movie musicals, I’m going to suggest **Can’t Stop the Music!** with the Village People, Valerie Perrine, Bruce Jenner and Steve Gutenberg. Disco was already dying by the time the movie came out, the Village People couldn’t act, the trio of Guttenberg, Jenner and Perrine gave the performance you feared they would and the whole thing ended with an out-of-place although not out-of-character gay liberation anthem. And if you’re lucky and you watch closely during the YMCA number, you’ll get to see naughty bits! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272.md?page=5)