# Hysterically Awful Movies (spoilers) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 17, 2004, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272 "2004-11-17T15:33:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/101 "2004-11-19T16:50:32Z")
> [@The Chao Goes Mu](#): > > > [@velveeta](#): > > > > [Ice Pirates](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087451/) > > **Space Herpe!** What’s funny is that I originally thought it was “Space _Herbie_” so I went to see it, expecting #53 to pop up somwhere. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/102 "2004-11-19T16:54:12Z")
> [@Made in Macau](#): > > BTW - what is MST3King? Is there a movie channel with smartarse commentary? [MST3K](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MST3K). A TV show with smartarse commentary. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/103 "2004-11-19T18:40:53Z")
> [@](#): > > The Grinch Who Stole Christmas was two-and-a-half hours I want back. I think my life has actually been stortened by this craptacular monstrosity. Not to be a pain in the ass, but the OP is asking for movies that are so bad they are funny, not funny movies that are so bad they aren’t. > [@](#): > > Is there a movie channel with smartarse commentary? Nope, we’re doing it freelance. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/104 "2004-11-19T20:30:14Z")
Hi, **Ino** - I have actually seen _Scream, Blacula, Scream_ as well. My wife and I and some of our friends love really bad movies - I mean _really_ bad ones. We have seen nearly all the Jean-Claude van Damme epics, all the Steven Segal movies which are titled in a three word prepositional phrase (later ones, not using this pattern, aren’t the same), and many of the rest mentioned in this thread. Yor, Hunter of the Future I have repressed the memory of, and have never gotten the nerve to try Battlefield Earth. Once we were having a Bad Movie Party, and we saw some Joan Crawford thing where she was scheming to take over the circus, IIRC. This was late in her illustrious career, and the lighting was artistically arranged so that shadows fell across her neck and hid the wattles. The rest of the movie was on the same level. I almost hesitate to nominate it, but Stranger Than Paradise hovers on the verge of True Badness. I have never been able to analyze why this movie worked, but it was genuinely funny and Bad at the same time. But Friday night is Movie Night with the Lovely and Talented Mrs. **Shodan**. I may try to locate Night of the Lepus or Blood Freak (thank you, **Master Wang-ka** ). Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/105 "2004-11-19T20:44:43Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > never gotten the nerve to try Battlefield Earth. A friend of ours brought over the video once. I didn’t really pay attention to it, save for a few scenes. Some movies require a suspension of disbelief; _Battlefield Earth_ requires it to be comatose. The ending is the best part, and not just because it’s over. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/106 "2004-11-19T21:01:45Z")
[\*\*Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone \*\*.](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086346/) It stars Molly Ringwald! It was originally shown in 3-D! \*\*[Howard the Duck](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091225/) \*\* A complete piece of trash that I keep waiting to see on cable again but no luck. \*\*[Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078239/) \*\* The Bee Gees, Alice Cooper, and George Burns together in one movie. How could it fail?!?! ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/107 "2004-11-19T21:05:02Z")
I forgot one [**The Boneyard**](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101497/) It’s a “horror” movie with Phylis Diller. And a poodle. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/108 "2004-11-19T21:08:13Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > [\*\*Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone \*\*.](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086346/) > It stars Molly Ringwald! It was originally shown in 3-D! > > \*\*[Howard the Duck](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091225/) \*\* > A complete piece of trash that I keep waiting to see on cable again but no luck. > > \*\*[Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078239/) \*\* > The Bee Gees, Alice Cooper, and George Burns together in one movie. How could it fail?!?! There is one part of Spacehunter that I love. It goes by quick so you have to look for it. The spaceship is crashlanding on a barren planet in a special effects-laden spectacular. Well actually it’s only a model. As the spaceship flies by, if you look at the upper corner of the screen you can see the cars in the parking lot where they built the set. Classic. ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/109 "2004-11-19T21:36:28Z")
The mention of Chopping Mall reminded me of another movie from that bad horror movie era. I cant remember the name but it was a teenage girl robot (looked human) and at one point she throws a basketball at someone’s head and it explodes (their head, not the basketball). I thought it was called Robot Friend, but that didn’t show up at imdb. I haven’t seen it since the late 80’s/early 90’s probably, so there’s a good chance it’s not funny now or I’m not remembering properly. The Avenging Disco Godfather is a favorite of mine. Even the title emits a chuckle. It doesn’t get much funnier than when he’s messed up on “Angel Dusssss”. There was another movie I caught the second half of on a movie channel the other day, I don’t remeber the name of that one either (are you seeing a trend here?). This girl kills people and uses their body parts to sew them together to make her own friend because nobody likes her. It’s funny because she compliments people on their body parts before she does it. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/110 "2004-11-19T21:42:30Z")
> [@c\_goat](#): > > The mention of Chopping Mall reminded me of another movie from that bad horror movie era. I cant remember the name but it was a teenage girl robot (looked human) and at one point she throws a basketball at someone’s head and it explodes (their head, not the basketball). I thought it was called Robot Friend, but that didn’t show up at imdb. I haven’t seen it since the late 80’s/early 90’s probably, so there’s a good chance it’s not funny now or I’m not remembering properly. Close, it’s _Deadly Friend_. Directed by Wes Craven IIRC. ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/111 "2004-11-19T21:53:20Z")
Thats It! Thanks cbawlmer! I was off on the description too, she wasn’t a robot. She died and her friend put his robot’s chip into her brain. The other movie I forgot to mention is [Riki-Oh](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102293/). Craig Kilborn used to use a clip from it for a while on his 5 questions when he did the Daily Show. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/112 "2004-11-19T22:19:42Z")
I suppose the reason nobody has mentioned “Mommie Dearest” is that it’s too obvious to a target (NOTE: I do recall that I off-handedly compared “Valley of the Dolls” to it in a post from a few days ago, but didn’t talk about “Dearest” directly. I expected somebody else would bring it up.) ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/113 "2004-11-19T23:09:44Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I have repressed the memory of, and have never gotten the nerve to try Battlefield Earth. > > Once we were having a Bad Movie Party, and we saw some Joan Crawford thing where she was scheming to take over the circus, IIRC. This was late in her illustrious career, and the lighting was artistically arranged so that shadows fell across her neck and hid the wattles. > > The rest of the movie was on the same level. > > I may try to locate Night of the Lepus or Blood Freak \*Blood Freak \* is currently available on DVD from Something Weird Video; I have no idea about _Night Of The Lepus_, although it’s another one I’d like to have. The DVD of \*Blood Freak \* also includes some hysterical/bizarre short subjects, including a short documentary about turkeys… \*Battlefield Earth \* was actually pretty good, if you prime yourself first by watching an episode or two of _Welcome Back Kotter_. Vinnie Barbarino = John Travolta = Snickering overdressed bighead Klingon guy = a fair number of cheap laughs. Then again, you have to have a little masochism in your soul to enjoy this kind of movie to begin with… Joan Crawford did a godawful cheap monster movie in the seventies called _Trog_ which veers off into \*Mommie Dearest \* territory occasionally. Synopsis: apelike missing link creature (_ **coughcoughguy in cheap ape mask with fur rug tied around neckcough** _) is found living in a cave; anthropologist Crawford is called in to investigate once he’s captured. They develop a … (deep breath) … sort of mother-son relationship, with considerable affection, which suffers when he goes on the inevitable rampage at the end of the movie, as all ape monsters do in movies of this sort. Joan either was being a real professional, or had no idea how godawful the movie was. Either way, it’s a hoot. **stpauler’s** find, _The Boney_ard, is a kind of curiosity… except for four bizarre elements, it’s not really a bad horror movie… in fact, it’s almost good. Those elements are: 1. Lead actress is obese to the point where her sheer size sometimes detracts from the film. Imagine obligatory monster chase scene where monster chases damsel, right? Now imagine that damsel is … um… damn, I can’t put this delicately, she’s frickin’ HUGE, okay? This causes the scene to cease being _suspenseful_, and makes it _funny_, despite the fact that’s it’s plainly intended _not_ to be. Funny, that is. 1. Phyllis Diller. I remember Rodney Dangerfield actually pulling off a serious performance as an abusive scumbag dad in _Natural Born Killers_. Ms. Diller tries something similar here, as a grouchy morgue receptionist who later becomes a sort of giant undead bugeyed Muppet. This just does NOT work as horror, no matter how hard everyone tries, okay? Some people can pull this off. Others cannot. Shouldn’t have gone with the Muppet, Phyllis. 2. Norman Fell as a ponytailed forensic pathologist. He actually doesn’t do badly, but I am of the generation that will forever remember that face, voice, and posture as “Mr. Roper” from _Three’s Company_, and his presence here, particularly alongside Phyllis Diller, is kind of jarring. 3. Part of the plot deals with evil essences that turn people and animals into giant man-eating undead monsters. Giant undead man-eating people is one thing. Giant man-eating French poodles is quite another. This movie is NOT a comedy; it’s played entirely straight… and, like I said, it’s really _not that bad a movie_… which generates a sort of cognitive dissonance between its good moments and its bad moments, which range from the unintentionally comical to the downright surreal (giant fat psychic lady being chased up a ladder by a giant man-eating undead werepoodle, for example) \*Deadly Friend \* was in fact directed by Wes Craven, which really made me wonder about the man’s idea of horror, directing skill, and general level of sanity. This movie was not good… nor was it bad enough to be funny. Mostly, I just found it kind of embarrassing. I like _Robot Monster_, though, for much the same reason I like _Plan Nine From Outer Space._ I’d love to find this on DVD somewhere for ten bucks… I mean, the dialogue alone manages to have me in hysterics every single time. For the uninitiated: Ro-Man (actor George Barrows, in a gorilla suit and ersatz diving helmet, with TV antenna grafted on) has been sent to Earth to exterminate the human race. He succeeds, except for four people. Ro-Man spends the rest of the movie talking to Guidance Ro-Man on his WWII surplus shortwave set (which also generates bubbles like a Lawrence Welk musical number, for some reason), pontificating aloud to himself on the nature of love and romance, and trying to kill the last four humans left alive on Earth. Must be seen to be believed. I’ve also found that the films of Dave Friedman and Herschell Gordon Lewis are comedy gold. Friedman’s \*She-Freak \* isn’t really bad enough to be funny, but it was made in the South around the time I was growing up, and durned if all the locations and people in that movie don’t look exactly like where I grew up. I enjoy watching the supermarket scene just to see the old 1960s rural supermarket interiors… …whereas HGL’s \*Blood Feast \* and _Wizard Of G_ore in particular are… just… frikk’n WEIRD. Combine very good production values with horrible sixties hair and clothes, _extremely_ inept acting, and gratuitous violence and gore that would get any film an X rating even today, and you’ve definitely got … well… I dunno what, but I about sprained something laughing last time I saw the climax of _Wizard Of Gore_, and I’ve seen that movie some ten times already… ---
**Author:** ![davmilasav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@davmilasav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davmilasav)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/114 "2004-11-19T23:27:18Z")
Anybody see a little gem called “TerrorVision”? Lawdy, it’s bad. It stars Chad “Tommy on St. Elsewhere” Allen and Alejandro “Boy, I did a lot of 70’s shows” Rey. Check it out on IMDB [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092074/#comment](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092074/#comment) “TV” is about an alien monster that gets beamed into space only to get sucked into an Earth family’s satellite system. You may also remember it as the movie where the wacky grampa is trying to sell lizard tail jerky. (“You cut off their tails and you know what? They grow 'em back!”) My brother and I used to invite our friends over for parites and subject them to this movie. Some of those people have yet to forgive us. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/115 "2004-11-20T03:29:01Z")
And I came in here because I didn’t think anyone could top time travelers from the future, who land in the age of disco in [The Spirit of '76](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100670/). What more could one want than a post-Partridge David Cassidy (circa 1990), a young Olivia d’Abo (the only one closest to being a more current _star_ type) and Bette Midler’s _husband_? Plus Mark Mothersbaugh, former Devo guy and cameos with Leif, Downtown Julie Brown, Iron Eyes Cody and Moon Unit! Bwahahahaha. The Reiners were thrown in for credibility, I’m sure. I’m a 70s baby too and yet even I couldn’t stomach this except to tell you all how bad it was. Honest. I really didn’t see it. Honesthonesthonest. Ok, maybe I did. But it was a LONG time ago and I must’ve had a reason. I’ll go look for that now. 😛 Now I’ll leave everyone with this last tidbit… All folks named in the credits have their astrological signs listed too. How groovy is that? ~faithfool, Pisces ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/116 "2004-11-20T06:04:34Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > [Lifeforce](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089489/) . The only movie I have been to where the packed movie theater started spontaneously MSTing the movie. This was 1985, long before I saw MST3K (don’t remember when it started). There is a very nice looking lady space vampire who didn’t understand the concept of clothing, which kind of made up for some of the silly bits. Hey!! That movie had me jerking!! ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/117 "2004-11-20T06:10:52Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Infra-Man. He flies! He shoots lightning out of his feet! He combats giant, walking mutant arms! > > It contains my favorite Bad Movie Quote of All Time: > See it. Be fulfilled. > > Regards, > Shodan Hey!! Do not degrade my cultural heritage!! Oh, it was made in Hong Kong?! Nevermind!! Oh, and it was a pale imitation of Ultraman. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/118 "2004-11-20T09:26:28Z")
> [@quiltguy154](#): > > Since the Yuletide season is well nigh upon us, may I dis-respectfully nominate “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians?” Hilarious script, awful sets AND lighting, and, need I add, the incomparable acting of a PP cast. On the positive side, it is one of my guilty pleasures. Can’t wait to find it on DVD. It also features the screen debut of one Pia Zadora. One more reason to watch it. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/119 "2004-11-20T11:39:56Z")
Remember these two con men? They managed to masquerade as movie-makers in the 1980’s…responsible forsuch gems as “SURF NAZIS MUST DIE”, and many other POS movies. Also, has ANYONE seen a movie called “UNDER THE RAINBOW”? Its another one of those dwarf movies…set on the set of THE WIZARD OF OZ. Foe some reason, he littlepeople stage a riot, and wreck the place (while dressed as the munchkins). Hysterically bad acting…I think this one came out ca 1976? ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/120 "2004-11-20T15:11:24Z")
Another MST3K movie: “Girl in Gold Boots”, made in 1968. A story of a girl who hooks up with (what we later learn) a drug dealer because he promises to make her a star in LA, through his sister who go-go dances at the Haunted Mansion (which I read was a real place in LA—is this true?). On their way to California, they make friends with (what we later learn) a draft dodger named Critter. The guy who plays the drug dealer IS Regis Philben’s Doppleganger. Has anybody alerted him? The movie also stars one of Judy Garland’s husbands. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272.md?page=7)